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Austin Babies
Moms of two or more
DH and I had always said we were done after we had B. He was a challenging baby but a VERY EASY toddler. He's always been a craptastic sleeper which we all know makes life harder when you don't sleep. BUT now we're thinking about having another. I think it would be great for him to have a sibling but I don't know how great I would handle pretty much zero sleep. Pedi told me the other day that it's a possibility that our next one could have the same motor delays as B and that it would make it triple the work. The motor delays were really hard on B and I. But I feel like if we don't have another 10 years down the road we'll regret it.
So tell me, how did you know you were ready? Tell me the truth how awful is the first 6 months with a toddler and baby?
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Re: Moms of two or more
We knew we were ready because we knew that even if we got pregnant right away (which we did), we'd still have 9 months to prepare. That's a long time. So we figured out what the minimum age gap was that we would want, counted back, and went for it. It was scary, but we figured it wasn't ever going to be NOT scary, kwim?
The truth about the first six months...in all honesty, for me, it wasn't really all that hard. The first three months or so, you're running on adrenaline and expecting to be sleep deprived. The baby is too young to be on a schedule, so you can just tote him/her around with you and it doesn't really matter. After that, either sleep gets better or your body adjusts. It's just now that things are seeming to get harder...DS has set nap times now that aren't necessarily the same as his sister's, so we're having to work around two different schedules. He's mobile now so he doesn't stay where I put him when I'm doing things like bedtime routines by myself. If your husband travels a lot for work, it's t.o.u.g.h. Like, really tough. But if he's around, you just each take a kid. Man-to-man defense, so to speak. You make it work, and it's awesome. :-)
I wasn't ready for a long time. My kids are 3.5 years apart. There is no rush to have a second. You can take your time and wait until you get into a good spot and feel better about having a second. DH was ready when A was 9 months old. He also wasn't the one that had been sleep deprived, exhausted, post partum and handling 90% of the parenting. So yeah, I needed time to get to a positive place where I was ready too.
For us, the second baby was WAY easier than the first. The first 6 months was nothing compared to the first time around. We had no idea what were in for the first time. And A was a difficult baby. So - we were prepared for it to be hard. We knew what were getting ourselves into. N was a great baby. She had some issues (reflux, dairy allergy) but even then, it was still easier b/c our expectations were different the second time around. And we knew we'd get through it and there was a light at the end of the tunnel. For me, that made the second go round much easier.