Single Parents

Changing last name and LO's name to hyphen?

Something I've been considering lately, I've been thinking about if I should change my last name, I would like to have the same last name as my DS but at the same time I don't want anything to associate me with my STBXH. I would want to hyphen DS last name too if I did change it.

So WWYD?

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Re: Changing last name and LO's name to hyphen?

  • Each State has different rules regarding name changes, so please check with an attorney in your area.  In CA once a name is on the Birth Certificate and on file with the Department of Health Services, it is a PAIN to change.  Generally you have to get a CO to change a minor's name, which means Petitioning the Court and also the child's father.  If the father is willing to agree to the name change, fantastic!!  But if not, you have to prove to a Judge why it is a detriment to the child to not have the name changed.  Generally (at least in CA), Judges do not allow name changes for children due to a divorce.  In fact, they get really angry and perceive this as some sort of attempted alienation.

    My children still have their father's last name.  I went back to my maiden name and it was confusing for schools at first.  But with divorces and people having children outside of marriage becoming more common, the schools don't think twice.  All you really need is a copy of the Birth Certificate and you Divorce Judgment and that clears it all up.  Yes, it's still incredibly annoying to be referred to as "Mrs. __________" sometimes, but that's the situation we have to live with.

    Good luck.

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  • I agree check with your state. In MD, up until the baby is a year old you can change it at vital records without a court order. 
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  • The thing that really sucks is my professional licenses and memberships are all in my married last name. I wonder if it's even worth changing everything. I remember the pita it was just to get everything changed to my married name to begin with, but I didn't have those licenses then. I just feel like having his last name leaves me with a mark from him. I just don't like it.
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  • I decided to keep my married name because I wanted to have the same name as DS, it is a pain to change everything, and the rest of STBXHs family is actually really nice and I like being associated with them.
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