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loveN_387
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what to do with older kids while in labor
loveN_387
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i am looking for advice on what to do with my 5 year old while im delivering. my husband is deployed and we are luckily stationed at the same post as my brother-in-law and sister, so she will be with me but im sure he will have to work. im not really close with anyone else (not enough to trust them with my daughter) what would you do in my situation?? anything will help
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Re: what to do with older kids while in labor
Look for a mom's group to join, so you could make some friends, who could watch your daughter. You can join sittercity for free because you are a military. Search for a sitter that way and have her come before the baby arrives, so your daugther can be comfortable with her. Otherwise, hire a doula and have your sister stay with your daughter.
We didn't have any family around, when DD2 arrived. I had a friend that I had met through Stroller Strides watch her.
If it were me I would have my sister stay with my DD. I would either hire a doula or just deliver alone. I be more relaxed knowing my daughter is with someone I knew even if it meant I didn't have anyone with me.
How far away are your parents or ILs? Could you call them when you go into labor and have them start coming your way. GL it is hard to be without DH.
I think you figured it out, here. Have your sister watch your DD while you get checked into the hospital and your BIL's mom can start heading your way. Then when she shows up your sister can head to the hospital to be with you.
This is for all the caterpillars that never became butterflies. And for all the butterflies that never felt the wind in their wings. And for all the hearts that had hopes and dreams of a wondrous flight together.
I am in your same boat except i have no sister nearby, no family able to come and my husband will probably be on a training thing hopefully near by. I have been to sick to make friends. So my husband has told me i will have to call i think it was his commanders wife and she will help if i cant find anyone else. I will be looking into every babysitter i can find on this post and offering whatever pay anyone wants to keep him. I panicked at first and wanted to go home to my family, but my husband says this kind of stuff happens to military wives all the time and there has to be something there suppose to do. I will be looking into this more as i come closer to labor, the problem here is im at a station which is mostly for training so alot of the wives here now wont be here when i deliver.
Try to get in contact with someone who knows more about this situation, i dont want to trust strangers either, thats why im only looking into other wives. I belong to a facebook page where other wives help each other all the time. If you can get involved in as many activities as possible. I dont know if you belong to a church but i was told maybe one of them would help me.
I'll be honest, it sounds to me like building a local support network is a good idea. It is fabulous that you have your sister to help, but it never hurts to have a back-up plan. It is difficult to do it all on your own when your DH is deployed (I know, mine missed our LO's birth and first nine months), but having a few friends makes all the difference. I know it's difficult, but IMO, when my DH is deployed, it's my job to hold down everything at home so that he doesn't worry about us (miss us, yes, worry, no). Depending upon your sister to be your only go to person is asking a lot. Chelsey gave some really good suggestions. Have you ever gone to MOPS? Are there any play groups that are held through something like Army Community Services?
I know it's difficult. I've been through one 15 month separation (training time and deployment) and we are PCSing to Germany soon and DH will deploy again, leaving me with our 2.5 year old in a country where I don't speak the language and the few people (acquaintances) I know are hours away. Honestly, part of me wants to crawl under the covers and come out in three years, but I know that I can't. So, I won't.
Best of luck with all that is to come. I hope your DH is able to see your new LO soon!
I worry about this already, too. DH won't be deployed, but I know from past experience that I'm going to want him with me when I'm in the thick of labor. (I actually did consider laboring alone so that DS can stay with DH-- honestly, it's not a good idea.) DS will likely go to stay with some of our friends from playgroup. That is, assuming we don't PCS before then. If we end up somewhere new where we don't have a local support network, I have absolutely no idea what we'll do!
I agree that you need to get out and make some friends/form a support network. It's invaluable when you don't have family nearby! Have you checked with the spouses' clubs at your base (the ones here have playgroups)? Another AWESOME place to find playgroups and other social outlets is on Meetup.com.
GL, mama!