1st Trimester

my mom spilled the beans on facebook

So I am seven weeks pregnant, I just found out less than two weeks ago when I had some pain and went to the hospital. I told my family and my best friend but was not planning on letting the word get out for quite some time. My husband and I thought it would be prudent.  I still have not even had my first appointment yet. Well today as I was cooking dinner I get a call a friend of mine screaming at me asking if I am pregnant. She said it was all over facebook. I demand to know how and who and she tells me my mother posted a long post bragging about about how she is going to be a grandmother. I am barely on speaking terms with my mother to begin with and we are not friends on facebook. I still have family members who I have not gotten to tell yet. None of my friends know. At work I only told my manager to explain my recent demeanor. Now my phone is ringing off the hook. I called my mother to tell her to remove the post and she was completely unapologetic. She said that I should have told everybody by know and how should she possibly know I would not want her to post something like that. I am completely devastated. I have been very stressed as my husband was just fired from his job yesterday and I will no longer have health insurance. This is just far to much for me to handle. She does not even think she did anything wrong.

Re: my mom spilled the beans on facebook

  • I. Would. Be. Pissed. 
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  • That is so wrong. I am so sorry. I hope you can at least get to tell a few people yourself. I would make sure your mother knows the extent of the damage caused by her carelessness and if you are so inclined, refrain from telling her other details until later. Again, I am really sorry.
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  • My Mom was so excited, she told a.whole bunch of her friends. The small town we live in... news travels fast. I couldn't be mad though because I didn't specifically ask her to keep it quiet, and they just didn't worry about such things in her day and age. I just had to cross my fingers that nothing goes wrong, or she would have to untell who she told.  ::FXed::
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  • I would be PO! I am so sorry!
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  • I'm sorry that happened. Facebook has taken away a lot of people's tact IMO. My family was good enough to keep it to themselves until I posted about it. I was only 5 weeks pregnant when we told our family so they had to wait a while before they could talk about it.

    My husband lost his job halfway through our first pregnancy so we had to apply for medicaid. Job loss sucks, it took us a long time to get back on our feet. Now DH has a really decent job. We waited to try for #2 before getting pregnant again and that was hard, I wanted a baby a lot sooner but I wanted us to be financially secure again and not relying on other people and the government.

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  • I'd be completely cross-eyed furious! I'm so sorry:( As for losing your insurance, have you applied for Medicaid yet? Also, in the event that you don't qualify for gov. assistance, have you considered going with a midwife? I know that's not everyone's cup of tea, but if you have a low-risk pregnancy, it's usually a lot cheaper, and as long as you go to a highly reputable one, you'll have excellent care.

    Chin up, mama; this, too, shall pass Smile

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  • I would be so mad.

    With social media these days we have learned that every milestone we let family/close friends in on we finish the sentence with "NO FACEBOOK". We got engaged, married, baby 1, baby 2 and told them all PLEASE NO FACEBOOK. With our engagement we weren't trying to hide it, but we wanted to let the people closer to us know by phone or in person so we told a few people No Facebook for 30 minutes. One of our friends that is a Facebook fanatic posted "Great news coming in 30 minutues" LOL!

    I am really sorry for your husband losing his job. I lost my job last Tuesday and it has been rough emotionally, but I keep trying to remember that everything happens for a reason! Best of luck to you and try to focus on the good stuff!! 

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  • That sucks, but that is also why we only told the three people that we knew could keep a secret, until were were ready for everyone to know.

     

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  • I was mad too when My man's Father posted it on his page and one girl at work over heard it when my supervisor was talking about it and spread the word there so I didnt get to tell much of anyone... They took all the fun out of it!

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  • Ugh. So sorry for your mom. I agree, try and apply for state aid for health insurance. Hopefully, you'll get it but if you don't, definitely look into a midwife. Good luck. Chin up. :)
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  • You can't trust anyone.

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  • Your reality is my fear. This is exactly why we don't want to tell my mom. Love her! But she has no filter when it comes to FB. All my friends read her posts because they find her lack of filter comical. In this situation, I do not.

    I'm so sorry this happened to you.

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  • wow! That's just crazy.

    I know how you feel with your DH loosing his job. My DH lost his job the day before I found out I was pregnant with our first. Luckily my insurance was through my work and not his. Have you looked into COBRA. It's freaking expensive, but it might be worth it with the upcoming medical expenses you have. State insurance might also be an option worth looking into. Last but not least, I don't know if you're working, or what your income situation is going to be, but if you have a low income you might qualify for WIC. During my first pregnancy WIC was a life saver since the vouchers were all for things I would normally buy anyway. (Bread, milk, eggs, peanut butter, rice, tortillas etc...)  I definitely didn't want to be on assistance, but my husband had been the one with the better job and it wound up being very needed with how bad the economy was at the time. It took my DH a long time to find any kind of work.

    Anyway, life happens I just thought I'd let you know about the resources that I had found that were helpful for us while my husband was out of work. 

  • My fear is your reality. Yikes! My DH doesn't understand why I want to wait to tell even close family/friends and that is exactly why (he didn't understand last time either). I don't trust anyone not to blab. I feel horribly for you! And I ditto the PPs. When we found out our girls had to be on special (and expensive) hypoallergenic formula we were told to apply for WIC. (Unfortunately we didn't qualify, but I don't see any reason why you wouldn't). Be sure to check it out. Good luck, hang in there, and make sure your mom is the last to know about any future exciting events.

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  • I am so sorry.  Can you think of a tactful but clear way to get the message across to her -- for example, if you find out the baby's gender ahead of time, tell her that you know the gender and have told your best friend but she'll have to wait until the baby is born because you cannot trust her with the news given how she treated the most important news of your life?  Maybe that is too harsh, but it sounds like you are not on good terms to begin with.  Or maybe simply confront her and tell her that her lack of judgment shakes your confidence in how she will respect your decisions as a parent and that she has done some major damage that will take a long time for her to repair.
  • OMG I would be freaking out!  I'm 6 weeks pregnant and my husband and I haven't told anyone because news like that is just hard to keep quiet and I know someone will get the itch to go on Facebook or go on a calling spree.  So we decided we're going to tell everyone on the same day because God forbid I tell some before others and some "feelings" end up being hurt.  Unbelievable, right?

     

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