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queenbone
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WDYT of intentionally repeating kindergarten?
queenbone
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DS's b-day is Sept 2. I was due Aug 26th, went a week overdue, and had to be induced. I thought the school cut off was they need to be 5 by the first day of school. I didn't realize Portland Public had a Sept 1 cut off, no exceptions, otherwise I would have scheduled my induction earlier.
I know the wisdom that it is better to hold them back an extra year, especially when they are boys. In fact my BF, whose son's birthday is in January, chose to have him change schools and repeat 6th grade because he was never quite thriving.
However, DS1 really, really wants to go to kindergarten! He talks about it all the time, and although I have told him he gets to go to preschool for two years and then kindergarten he is sad about it. Somehow he figured out that kindergarten is for 5 yr olds and so he thinks that he gets to go when he turns 5 this year. He knows all his letters and can could up to at least 50. And he can write his own name.
We intend to send him to parochial school. But I just saw a posting that the kindergarten at the public school 3 blocks from where we are moving is the only free 1/2 day kindergarten left in the city. (For some dumbass reason you have to pay for full day kindergarten, half day is free. In two years they will return to free all day kindergarten.)
So, I was thinking of signing him up for 1/2 day kindergarten with the intention that he will do another year of full day kindergarten next year. He will be in a different school so it isn't like he'll have the stigma from the class that moves on to 1st grade. I'm not sure if the school will go for that, but I wanted input on whether that would be a bad idea or a good idea since he wants to go so badly.
Frankly free 1/2 day kindergarten is a lot better than paying for 1/2 preschool for another year!
So, brilliant idea or terrible, stupid idea?
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Re: WDYT of intentionally repeating kindergarten?
With the caveat that my son is much younger and we're not nearly thinking of this yet, I would say that the only concern I would have is that if your son IS on track and doing well his first go-round at kindergarten, he could get bored having to redo the class and that could negatively affect how well he does the second time. If he attends kindergarten for free the first year and does well, is there any way to get him into first grade at the parochial school the next year?If you don't think he's mastered things so well that it would get boring for him, then it sounds like he would benefit from the second year regardless.
I know it's an unpopular opinion amongst moms of summer born boys, but I see no need to hold back a boy (or any child, but this seems most common with boys) unless there is a demonstrated concern with that particular child, rather than just because you think there COULD be or because of a societal understanding that boys are immature and won't do well in school if they start at a young 5.
It's such a tough decision to make.
We agonized over it and ended up red shirting my late summer birthday kid.
Here's my take. Repeating pre-school? They're younger and don't really "get it" yet. Of COURSE they want to go to kindy. It sounds like fun! But mine doesn't understand all that being substantially the youngest in his class will mean to him long term while I do.
I had mine repeat pre-school but at a private school and called it pre-K.
I think had he gone to Kindy and then repeated it it would have sucked for him. At that point he would have been with the same kids for 2 straight years and seeing them advance when he didn't get to would have negatively impacted his self esteem. By doubling up before kindy he's none the wiser about what's going on.
Sounds like you have a similar situation where he'd be changing schools any way so you could frame it differently for him but a newly 5 yr old is much more gullible than a newly 6 yr old. He's going to know that he's staying back in Kindy when his friends are going on to first grade. If you think he's excited and wants to go to Kindy now I can promise you that he's gonna be worse about wanting to start first grade with his peers when they start ramping them up for it at the end of Kindergarten.
I'd talk with the school before you get too far down the path. For us repeating once he was age appropriate to advance wasn't an option. The school district won't pay for repeating a grade unless there is a teacher recommended academic reason. We couldn't repeat pre-school at our public pre-school because he had aged out of the pre-school program (and rightfully so - it wouldn't have been a good fit for him this year).
Total score: 6 pregnancies, 5 losses, 2 amazing blessings that I'm thankful for every single day.
I don't have school aged kids but I'd be worried he'd be really bored (and possibly disruptive, turned off to learning, etc.) the second year of kindergarten. And then wouldn't he just want to go to first grade really badly (and that point, frankly, should be allowed to go assuming he *passes* kindergarten) so it has the potential of creating an internal stigma.
I would probably prefer to find another way to challenge him this year -- or if you are really confident he is ready, I'd fight the system and get him in there for real.
By repeating the grade you'll put him in the situation I was in as a child. No, my birthday wasn't September, but it was December and that's close...
I was one of the oldest in my class. I was first to turn "sweet 16", I was first to get my drivers' license, I was first for so many things. And, that gave me a "leg up" in sports, I was one of the smartest in my class... etc.
I think if I started school early, I would have been "average".
I am planning on taking him to the kindergarten round up at the parochial school too. I took him after he was born ( I know that sounds totally neurotic, but I had to decide if I need to switch parishes, and wanted to make sure I built up enough seniority to get in if need be)
Anyway the principal suggested I bring him in because she evaluates the borderline age children before making a final decision. I don't anticipate there being a problem getting him at the first grade level if he is indeed ready to go on after the 1/2 day kindergarten, but I will definitely check with her about that.
Point well taken.
This is such a hard thing to decide! Somehow I have a feeling whatever I decide now, he'll hate me for and wish I'd done the opposite when he is 13, hahaha!
First, I'm thinking your school wont let you do it if their cutoff is Sept 1 so this all will be a moot point.
That said, I would find a pre-K program for him because like PP's said, he is going to want to move on to first grade rather than staying back.
Also, if they do let you do it and he does have to move on to 1st grade, it isnt always so bad to be the youngest. I started K when I was 4 turning 5 in November. My mom said that they gave her a hard time about it but I passed the entrance exam so they let me go. I excelled and was in the gifted program. So being the youngest is not necessarily a bad thing. It just depends on the kid.
-----Lisa-----
Ditto this big time.
My 5 yr old is a timid kid. Being the youngest by 6 months would have been much harder on him than some.
I took Dylan to the spring "meet your teacher" thing at the end of pre-school last year and was overwhelmed. The teacher asked each child sitting on the rug to introduce themselves and tell how old they were. Not a single kid said 4 but mine. Half the class was missing teeth for heaven sake! You could easily see that my kid was out of his league.
My now 4 yr old? I'd send him to kindy next year if someone would take him. He's fearless and being the youngest wouldn't phase him in the least.
Totally depends on the kid.
Total score: 6 pregnancies, 5 losses, 2 amazing blessings that I'm thankful for every single day.
This was me exactly. I think this is why this missing the cut off by one day irritates me so much. We kind made fun of the two boys in my class who were a year older than us.
This was me, too - my birthday was 3 days before the cutoff and I was always the youngest, but I didn't really care (and I did quite well in school).
What also complicated things was that I am an Irish Twin - my older sister was born in the same year, so she missed the cutoff by less than 2 weeks, and we technically should have been in the same class. My mom did what you are thinking about doing - she went to the local parochial school, and they let my sister enter kindy early. Once she did well there, the public school let her transfer for first grade, and we got to avoid being in the same class...which would have been weird since we are not twins!
Personally, I would either put him in (if the district will allow?) or do another year of pre-K. I would not repeat K. I agree with Howley that as excited as he is for K, having to repeat K while everyone else goes on to first grade would be really difficult, and possibly a blow to his self-esteem. If you think he's ready for K and the district will allow it, then I say go for it. If you're on the fence, then do another year of pre-K, and work on some pre-reading skills for a bit of a challenge.
Just another perspective. Both my DH and my little sis have late August birthdays and were the youngest in their classes. Both hated it. They had to wait an entire summer to reach milestones that their peers were reaching. While everyone else got their licenses during their junior year, they had to wait until the start of senior year. While everyone else turned 21 during their junior year of college, they had to wait until senior year. Might seem trivial, but I've heard enough complaining about it that I thought I'd mention it.
First, they may not let him start since the cut-off is Sept. 1st and his b-day is Sept. 2nd. Some districts are very strict, others will test those within days of the cut-off and then decide.
This is by far the hardest and most anxiety-ridden decision (I think....). Our cut-off in Michigan is Dec. 15th. DS1's b-day is Oct. 13th......but 90% of people around us hold their kids back. He is in pre-k this year and thriving, but he is on the shy side and he tends to pick things up a bit slower. His pre-k teacher says he is ready.
I teach middle school. In my 10 years of teaching, I have never once had a parent tell me that they regret holding their child back....BUT....I have at least 2 every year tell me that they are angry they didn't hold their child back. I'm not going to lie: now that I have 2 boys with Fall b-days, once I know the kids, I look at their b-days to see if there is any truth behind the "younger" kids. I would say about 70% of the boys on the "younger" end are only average and/or ones with academic/behavior issues. I have never had a student who was held back be "average" and/or low.
I would never in a million years want my children to have to repeat a grade once they start or have to move them because of that. I would rather him be bored for Kindy/1st grade. It will all balance out eventually.
Many of my kinder/early childhood friend teachers will tell you that you don't see the deficits in the early years, rather in the later years.
It is a super hard decision. Trust me. I am living it right now and it makes the decision 10 times harder when you are in education
I feel bad that DS1 won't be continuing with most of his friends that he has made, but I know that we are setting up him for more success in the future.
GL with your decision!