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My 18 m.o. has no soul

maribel922maribel922
in Austin Babies

Does anyone have any recommendations for disciplining an 18 month old who thinks it's funny to hit and kick and throw food on the floor?  He won't sit in time out (because he's 18 months old).  He laughs at my firm "no, sirs!" I'm seriously afraid he was born without a conscience and will someday land in jail.  Kidding, sort of.

Have any of you been here?  Between my 3 year old who is "my way or the highway" and my soul-less 18 month old smacking me upside the head multiple times today and laughing, I'm feeling like a parenting failure today! 

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Re: My 18 m.o. has no soul

  • SinafeySinafey member

    Do you try to explain how his actions effect other people?  When DD went through her hitting and biting phase the only thing that effected her was my hurt reaction.  We'd immediately stop all play and tend to the "wounded", showing lots of sympathy and talking about how it hurts.

    As for throwing food, I'd follow it with the natural consequence of losing that meal.  If it continues, only allow him to have one piece of food at a time and explain that when he's able to show that he can be trusted with his meal again you'll give it back.  

    For us, that was the age when natural consequences started to 'click' a little more for DD.

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  • MrsMillerTimeMrsMillerTime
    imageSinafey:

    As for throwing food, I'd follow it with the natural consequence of losing that meal.  If it continues, only allow him to have one piece of food at a time and explain that when he's able to show that he can be trusted with his meal again you'll give it back.  

    This.  Totally.

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  • libbyannlibbyann member
    We've been there...time outs are what worked well for us (and typically still do). Will didn't sit there at first either, but each time he got up I wordlessly picked him back up, physically put him back in his T.O. chair and reset the timer. It didn't take him long to realize that he had to stay there.
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  • maribel922maribel922
    imageSinafey:

    Do you try to explain how his actions effect other people?  When DD went through her hitting and biting phase the only thing that effected her was my hurt reaction.  We'd immediately stop all play and tend to the "wounded", showing lots of sympathy and talking about how it hurts.

    As for throwing food, I'd follow it with the natural consequence of losing that meal.  If it continues, only allow him to have one piece of food at a time and explain that when he's able to show that he can be trusted with his meal again you'll give it back.  

    For us, that was the age when natural consequences started to 'click' a little more for DD.

      Good point on trying to show how his actions affect others.  I probably can work on making this more dramatic, other than screaming "ow!"  and putting him down.  We're working on natural consequences for the food throwing at meals.  So far, he doesn't care if we dismiss him from the table and 10 minutes later, he's rifling through the cabinet saying "eat!"  (bangs head against wall). 
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  • amyliisaamyliisa

    imagelibbyann:
    We've been there...time outs are what worked well for us (and typically still do). Will didn't sit there at first either, but each time he got up I wordlessly picked him back up, physically put him back in his T.O. chair and reset the timer. It didn't take him long to realize that he had to stay there.

     This is what we did too.  It didn't take too long before he started to get it.  As for the hitting, kicking, we have the books "Hands Are Not For hitting", "Feet Are Not For Kicking", and "Teeth Are Not For Biting", and we read them CONSTANTLY at around that age!  That, along with the dramatic reaction and talking about hiring eventually helped him phase out of that.  Good luck!

     

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  • amyliisaamyliisa
    Argh!  Won't let me edit from my phone, but I meant to say "hurting" instead of "hiring" in my reply above! :-)
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  • brideonjuly8brideonjuly8 member
    At that age we were still holding him on our laps for time out.  No way he would stay on his own then.
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  • fjarilfjaril

    We aren't a time-out family. But when we had a spell of hitting and laughing, I would also be wounded and turn my back to him saying, ouch that hurt mama. If he hit me again, I'd get up and walk away telling him he hurt me and I needed to look at my booboo. Then I'd sit on the floor in another room. He'd come find me and kiss booboo's, then we'd talk about hitting. 

    He was usually looking for a reaction/ more attention (yeah even though he was an only child at the time and we were playing, he wanted more, totally natural). The act of me turning my back or walking away showed him that it wasn't cool to hit and he wasn't going to get the reaction he wanted.

     

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