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1st Trimester
jk101510
member
Breast Feeding
jk101510
member
My mother and I have never really gotten along very well. She's in town visiting and we went to dinner last night. She asked if I plan on breastfeeding and here how it went:
Me: I'm going to try, if baby takes to it and I'm comfortable with it then yes.
Her jaw dropped and she responded with: OMG that's gross. Really disgusting Kel. You're not a cow. OMG I can't believe my daughter would do that. Formula now-a-days is just as good. Plus your husband won't be able to feed them.
Me(Blood boiling): 1. it's cheaper 2. it's healthier for baby and it's helpful for my body post baby 3. my tits are there for a reason 4. I'm going pump as well so he can feed baby too.
Her: Ugh, that's just really disgusting <gagging noise>. I seriously can't believe it, you're not a cow for God sakes blah blah blah
I then cut her off pretty rudely and said "MOM, I want to try it for myself and see if I like it. You're being obnoxious and really starting to hurt my feelings. Leave it alone". Which of course led to a 15 minute convo on how she never meant to hurt my feelings but that she can't believe one of her children would ever do such a thing.
Seriously, can you believe that? I don't necessarily think BF'ing is the prettiest or greatest thing in the world but it's something I would like to at least try before I shut it down completely. I couldn't (well knowing her I could) believe I got such a response. Has this happened to anyone else? Should I just not answer the breast feeding question again? WTF.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Breast Feeding
My mom feels exactly the same way....
I FF'ed ds and have thought about trying to BF this one. I just don't think I have the support system to do so.
~after 34 cycles we finally got our 2nd little bundle of joy~
My IF blog
O.M.G.! <jaw on floor> I'm so sorry! That is not a typical response from a human being. This is what our bodies are meant to do...I mean...I don't get her response at all! I would say it is safe to answer from just about anyone else because her response is obsurd! I understand if people don't want to breast feed, but it isn't disgusting and we are a mammal (like a cow)! Wow. Good luck and good for you for standing up for what you are going to do. It is YOUR baby and YOUR body!
I'm sorry that you got that response. No you're not a cow, but you are a mammal, and like all mammals you have the ability to breastfeed. Seriously, she drinks something that comes out of a cows boob. How is that more normal than breastfeeding? No, formula these days is not just as good... although the only acceptable substitute in the circumstance that you can't breastfeed (or you eventually choose not to for whatever reason).
I highly recommend visiting a La Leche League meeting before you have your baby. They will be very supportive. In other cultures breastfeeding support comes from moms and aunts and friends who have already breastfeed. In our culture we can't depend on that and it is desperately needed... especially in the early days when it is uncomfortable, and exhausting, and you're in the middle of recovering from delivery.
Until you're really comfortable and established in your breastfeeding relationship, I would just avoid the conversation with her. If she tries to bring it up just tell her you're not interested in talking about it and change the topic. (Or tell her she drinks from a cows boob so she has no room to talk.
)
IMO 'It's gross' or 'you're not a cow' are not valid reasons for not breastfeeding. Your mom was being completely out of line. She should be proud of you for trying to do what you think is best for your baby.
As to your last question, I only talk about my plans to breastfeed to people that I feel will be supportive, and that really need to know. This pretty much means MH, and that's about it. Everyone else, I just say that I haven't really thought about it, and if they push the issue, I just let them know that I'm not comfortable discussing my breasts with them, period.
BFP #2 12/26/11 ~ EDD 9/6/12 ~ MMC discovered on 1/27/12 @ 8w1d (measured 6w2d)
BFP #3 8/10/12 ~ EDD 4/23/13 ~ MMC discovered on 9/13/12 @ 8w2d (measured 6w6d)
does she realize all other mammals breastfeed, not just cows? >_> i dont see a goat going to the market to buy enfamil.
for goodness sake... im sorry she has such a strong opinion either way. people that feel so strongly for someone elses decision just makes me eyes roll right out of my head
Wow. Your mother needs to educate herself. There are MANY benefits to BFing, some of which you listed.
On a side note though, most babies don't "take to it" right away. It took us 8 solid weeks to click with it. And it was a rough patch, but it was SO worth it. I applaud you for wanting to try, but if you are serious about it I'd recommend setting a short-term goal like 6 or 8 weeks to 100% try before deciding if you want to give up. It's hard work at first.
DD1 born 5/24/10.
Missed M/C at 14 wks Feb 2012.
DD2 born 5/14/13.
Missed M/C at 9 wks July 2015.
Wow. I'm so sorry. While I think there are plenty of good reasons for not breastfeeding, I don't think that "it's gross" is one of them. It's really not gross at all. It's what your breasts were designed for. And honestly, after having breastfed my daughter for over a year now I actually think it has been one of the greatest experiences I've ever had.
Please please please - if it is something you want to try, surround yourself with a positive support system. Lactation consultants, a support group, the Breastfeeding board here, even a few other Moms who are breastfeeding and enjoy it. Don't let anyone deter you from it if it is what you want to do.
Carina 12.28.2010 | Aurelia 9.23.12 | Chart - Round 3
Wow how sad people actually think this way... I would never formula feed unless I had a medical condition like HIV/AIDS that could be harmful for my newborn. Why would I feed my baby formula that isn't sterile? That's what's gross!
I disagree with you about breastfeeding not being pretty to me it's the most natural most beautiful thing a mother and baby can do...
My mother thinks I am the most wonderful mother, not only because I am a breastfeeder but because I am such a great advocate for it as well. I'm so sorry you have a mother who doesn't support you...
I totally agree that your Mom's statements were over the top, but not everyone sees breastfeeding as this wondering, amazing thing.
I always knew I would FF my first. I took a lot of grief from people SHOCKED that I wasn't even going to trying breastfeeding. To be honest, I had no interest in it and really didn't believe it would make an impact of my child's life. I enjoyed FF, never felt like I missed out on bonding. My husband and other family and friends were able to help me out whenever I needed it. I lost weight just as fast or even faster as my breastfeeding friends. A litlle side note: I don't buy the whole calorie thing. The bottom line is you have a newborn and you have no time to eat yourself. Period.
Today 2.5 years later, my daughter is thriving! She's super healthy, has met and/or exceeded every milestone. She's potty trained, can count to 15 and can say her ABC's. I'm not bragging, I'm just trying to make a point, that it really doesn't matter what you feed you baby. His or her successses will be based on things other than breastmilk or formula. Be open minded about all that is available to you. Make educated decisions about your own life and know that happy mommy = happy baby.