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I feel like a big jerk

aandgaandg member
in TTC After a Loss

My sister in law, who I love dearly is pregnant. She is just a few days behind where I should be right now. I am soooo happy for her, but it is so hard to hear that her appointment went so well today. I feel like the biggest jerk on earth and cried for about an hour after I talked to her today. She has been so wonderful to me after both of my m/c. I hope that it gets easier.?

Vent over?

BFP #1 6/21/08 natural m/c 7/4/08 BFP #2 10/3/08 blighted ovum discovered 11/5/08 D&C 11/13/08 dx with hetero MTHFR 1/7/09 BFP #3 7/1/09 DS born 3/7/10 BFP #4 1/27/10 DD born 9/4/11 Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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Re: I feel like a big jerk

  • mb72105mb72105
    vent away, but it does get easier...eventually.  Hang in there!
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  • Kristyn4Kristyn4

    I don't think you should feel like a jerk at all. Everyone of us on this board has felt that at one time. It is only natural. You don't hate your SIL, you just hate that she has something that you had, and should still have. It isn't bad to feel this way, it is just not good to let it control you.?

    My BFF got PG two weeks after my first BFP. ?We were so excited, b/c since we were in 1st grade we dreamed of having kids the same age and also being BFF. Then I had a m/c and she still didn't. I kept hoping (hoping really isn't the right word, but I bet you know what I mean) the same thing would happen to her so that we could try together again. Then it didn't. I was really really bitter. I couldn't talk to her for 3 months. Then I did, and it was like a weight was lifted off my shoulders. I am thrilled for her and her husband. She will be the best mom ever. I am just happy that I ?a) didn't judge myself while I was working through my feelings and b) finally did work through them, b/c it was so healing.

    Gosh, that was really long. Sorry to be so wordy, but I just wanted you to know that you are in good company with your feelings, and I don't think you are a jerk. :) ?

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  • honeybeeehoneybeee
    *hugs* you are not a big jerk and it sounds like she is sensitive to your feelings as well. 
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  • MrsPattersonMrsPatterson member
    Don't feel like a jerk!  Even though you are so happy for her, it's very painful to see someone who is so close to your EDD have a healthy pregnancy.  Just allow yourself to feel sad and try to talk to someone about it.  It makes it worse if you keep it inside. 
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  • honeybeeehoneybeee
    Sorry, I hit post too soon.  I think things will get better with time, but you shouldn't feel bad about your feelings.  In the long run it is great that you two have a good relationship.
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  • AustinzGirlAustinzGirl
    everythings eventual
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  • aandgaandg member
    Thank you for the support. I really appreciate it.?
    BFP #1 6/21/08 natural m/c 7/4/08 BFP #2 10/3/08 blighted ovum discovered 11/5/08 D&C 11/13/08 dx with hetero MTHFR 1/7/09 BFP #3 7/1/09 DS born 3/7/10 BFP #4 1/27/10 DD born 9/4/11 Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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  • TheEnglishgirlTheEnglishgirl

    Oh crap, that sucks, I am so sorry.

    Vent away on here, please do it whenever you feel the need, please.?

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  • aj1028aj1028
    Vent away.... that is completely normal... how strange would it be if you weren't upset? I'm sorry, I think you are in good company here bc we all know just what you are going through and know that it isn't fun. It's hard to feel so not happy about the joys in someone else's life.... *hugs*
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  • vml14vml14
    Don't feel like a jerk, that's natural.  My SIL (brother's wife) and I were due 10 days apart.  They now have a 1 month old baby, while my baby is in Heaven.  I love them dearly, and I am so happy that they were blessed with a healthy baby, but it still hurts.  I saw them this weekend, and the whole time I was there, I was on the verge of tears and my stomach was tied in knots with anxiety.  I cried pretty much the entire drive home (3 hours).  I try to focus on my happiness for them, but sometimes it's hard.  I am also hoping it gets easier.... Hugs to you.
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