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WWYD: smoking neighbor

laurapalmerlaurapalmer
in Attachment Parenting

This is obviously a bit off topic but you guys always give such considerate advice. 

We live in a condo with a shared wall. Our neighbor sometimes smokes outside in front of his door and if I leave our windows open it fills up our condo with smoke. I'm very sensitive to smoke but I didn't feel it was my place to say anything to him. In the past I've just closed the window when I smell smoke but unfortunately by then it's usually too late. 

Now that DS is here (his window is closest to the neighbor's front door) I feel like I should say something because I don't want DS exposed to second hand smoke. We have a good relationship with our neighbors but I can't think of any good way to bring it up without seeming rude or overbearing. We have the same problem when he smokes on his back patio but at least that doesn't effect DS's room. There are no rules against  smoking outside. 

WWYD? Should I say something or just deal with it? The biggest problem is in the summer because we don't have AC so we need our windows open. Thanks!!

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Re: WWYD: smoking neighbor

  • urbanflowerpoturbanflowerpot
    That's a really tough one - we were almost in the same situation but wound up moving. I couldn't think of a good way to go about it because they have every right to do that. I'd probably approach them delicately since you said you have a good relationship and say "I'm so sorry to bring this up but would you mind..." I'd also start shopping for a window unit/filter for his room.
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  • 3003girl3003girl member

    If he smoked in the front and back, I would consider asking him to keep it in the back. I would say something to the effect of "I hate to bring this up, but DS's window is right by your door, and when you smoke outside it blows into his window. I know you smoke out back too, would you be able to smoke out back instead of out front?" 

    If he didn't have the option to do out back I probably wouldn't say anything just because he has the right to do it. :( I would look into getting some type of filter or air unit for the window though.  

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  • jday1229jday1229
    If he can see DS's window I would just ask him to let you know before he smokes out front so you can close the window. He'll be more aware that the smoke is going in the window and chances are it would be more of a pain to let you know so he'll just smoke in the back instead.
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  • FrauElyseFrauElyse
    We live in apartments and have had this issue occasionally as well, except we're not really on good terms with our neighbours...we don't know any of them.  And, it's different people who smoke outside at different times.  We have A/C though that we would use in the summer, but there are days when it's better (and cheaper) to just open windows so I know how you feel.  I think the pp's had some excellent suggestions.  If he can smoke in the back, then he should be willing to keep it back there.   
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  • SoxFan777SoxFan777 member

    imagejday1229:
    If he can see DS's window I would just ask him to let you know before he smokes out front so you can close the window. He'll be more aware that the smoke is going in the window and chances are it would be more of a pain to let you know so he'll just smoke in the back instead.

    I think this is a GREAT way to go about it... That way, you're not ASKING him to stop, but if he's not a total D-, than he'll just smoke in the back anyway.  :) 

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  • brienne00brienne00 member

    imagejday1229:
    If he can see DS's window I would just ask him to let you know before he smokes out front so you can close the window. He'll be more aware that the smoke is going in the window and chances are it would be more of a pain to let you know so he'll just smoke in the back instead.

    This....although as a former smoker I can honestly say I would have never smoked in front of someone's open window, regardless of who's room it were. I hope he is just overlooking this and responds nicely! :-) good luck 

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  • laurapalmerlaurapalmer
    Thanks ladies! I really appreciate all of your advice. I still haven't gotten up the nerve to talk to my neighbor, but when I do I have an idea what to say :)
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