Number3rmel

pigtails1031777 · January 2012

Please remove Zachary's badge. You're making his poor mothers painfully personal story a spectacle. Not appropriate.

erinlovesdavid · January 2012

luvmyducks · January 2012

ITA.

It is one thing to have a badge to honor his memory. But it is quite another to have it linked to the post Amye wrote the day after he died. That post was meant for PAL and for the ladies that have been there for her since her loss and TTCAL days. I know it is a public message board, but what you have in your siggy is still inappropriate.

pigtails1031777 · January 2012

-thumbs up-

pinkpepsi · January 2012

MeatballEsq · January 2012

pigtails1031777:
Please remove Zachary's badge. You're making his poor mothers painfully personal story a spectacle. Not appropriate.

I have seen several people with this badge, not just her. I see what you are saying but I really think these woman did that to honor zachary and did not mean to cause any pain. You may want to put a message up on more boards so the other ladies know these are not well received.

on_a_whim · January 2012

tonir319:
pigtails1031777:
Please remove Zachary's badge. You're making his poor mothers painfully personal story a spectacle. Not appropriate.
I have seen several people with this badge, not just her. I see what you are saying but I really think these woman did that to honor zachary and did not mean to cause any pain. You may want to put a message up on more boards so the other ladies know these are not well received.

I was thinking this exact same thing. I really don't think her intention was to insult or hurt anyone...I truly think she was doing this as a way of support.

TeacherVicky · January 2012

on_a_whim:
tonir319:
pigtails1031777:
Please remove Zachary's badge. You're making his poor mothers painfully personal story a spectacle. Not appropriate.
I have seen several people with this badge, not just her. I see what you are saying but I really think these woman did that to honor zachary and did not mean to cause any pain. You may want to put a message up on more boards so the other ladies know these are not well received.
I was thinking this exact same thing. I really don't think her intention was to insult or hurt anyone...I truly think she was doing this as a way of support.

The badge is fine. The link to the mother's post on PAL is not.

ETA: she couldn't even offer her condolences or ((hugs)) in the mother's post, but has the merve to link her story?? Unfvckenreal.

Unem · January 2012

on_a_whim:
tonir319:
pigtails1031777:
Please remove Zachary's badge. You're making his poor mothers painfully personal story a spectacle. Not appropriate.
I have seen several people with this badge, not just her. I see what you are saying but I really think these woman did that to honor zachary and did not mean to cause any pain. You may want to put a message up on more boards so the other ladies know these are not well received.
I was thinking this exact same thing. I really don't think her intention was to insult or hurt anyone...I truly think she was doing this as a way of support.

Me too. I've been praying for the family after seeing this on a few siggy's.

MeatballEsq · January 2012

TeacherVicky:
on_a_whim:
tonir319:
pigtails1031777:
Please remove Zachary's badge. You're making his poor mothers painfully personal story a spectacle. Not appropriate.
I have seen several people with this badge, not just her. I see what you are saying but I really think these woman did that to honor zachary and did not mean to cause any pain. You may want to put a message up on more boards so the other ladies know these are not well received.
I was thinking this exact same thing. I really don't think her intention was to insult or hurt anyone...I truly think she was doing this as a way of support.
The badge is fine. The link to the mother's post on PAL is not.
ETA: she couldn't even offer her condolences or ((hugs)) in the mother's post, but has the merve to link her story?? Unfvckenreal.

i understand being upset but I really think you are attacking someone whose actions are bring misinterpreted. I really think, even the link, had good intentions of spreading the word of zacharys story to garner additional support and prayers for the family. I hope you know that no one would want to cause this mother any additional pain.

TeacherVicky · January 2012

tonir319:
i understand being upset but I really think you are attacking someone whose actions are bring misinterpreted. I really think, even the link, had good intentions of spreading the word of zacharys story to garner additional support and prayers for the family. I hope you know that no one would want to cause this mother any additional pain.

ITA with A needing all the support she can get, 100%. However, I think that linking Z's story in her siggy is totally inappropriate. It's not her story to share and spread around. It's kind of making a spectacle of it. How many other people are just going to go to the post, read it and click out of it without offering any words of condenlence or any type of support?? That is NOT offering support to A.

on_a_whim · January 2012

TeacherVicky:
tonir319:
i understand being upset but I really think you are attacking someone whose actions are bring misinterpreted. I really think, even the link, had good intentions of spreading the word of zacharys story to garner additional support and prayers for the family. I hope you know that no one would want to cause this mother any additional pain.

ITA with A needing all the support she can get, 100%. However, I think that linking Z's story in her siggy is totally inappropriate. It's not her story to share and spread around. It's kind of making a spectacle of it. How many other people are just going to go to the post, read it and click out of it without offering any words of condenlence or any type of support?? That is NOT offering support to A.

Again, I don't believe whatsoever that it was her intention make a spectacle of anything. Yes, perhaps she could have done things a little differently in order to create a more positive perspective about her choice of method of support... however, I I think it should be noted that people are not obligated to post on that thread, and their lack of doing so does not mean they don't care. Some people just do not know what to say, and they choose not to use the often used ((hugs)) and repetitive "I'm so sorry.."... There is nothing wrong with saying nothing at all.

Additionally, I don't think that calling her out in a post to berate her about her actions is drawing much positive support to the matter either. I can certainly understand yours (and others) viewpoints here, and I'm not saying you're wrong for feeling that way... It would, however, have made much more sense to PM her about this.

rvandiver0705 · January 2012

The point isn't whether or not it was well intentioned, the point is that it IS a spectacle. That is why it should be taken out.

It is one thing for a badge, but turning your siggy into an information board about the worst day in the life of someone you've never interacted with is disrespectful and selfish. It is almost like you want some of the attention she is getting, which is sick.

rvandiver0705 · January 2012

on_a_whim:
TeacherVicky:
tonir319:
i understand being upset but I really think you are attacking someone whose actions are bring misinterpreted. I really think, even the link, had good intentions of spreading the word of zacharys story to garner additional support and prayers for the family. I hope you know that no one would want to cause this mother any additional pain.

ITA with A needing all the support she can get, 100%. However, I think that linking Z's story in her siggy is totally inappropriate. It's not her story to share and spread around. It's kind of making a spectacle of it. How many other people are just going to go to the post, read it and click out of it without offering any words of condenlence or any type of support?? That is NOT offering support to A.
Again, I don't believe whatsoever that it was her intention make a spectacle of anything. Yes, perhaps she could have done things a little differently in order to create a more positive perspective about her choice of method of support... however, I I think it should be noted that people are not obligated to post on that thread, and their lack of doing so does not mean they don't care. Some people just do not know what to say, and they choose not to use the often used ((hugs)) and repetitive "I'm so sorry.."... There is nothing wrong with saying nothing at all.
Additionally, I don't think that calling her out in a post to berate her about her actions is drawing much positive support to the matter either. I can certainly understand yours (and others) viewpoints here, and I'm not saying you're wrong for feeling that way... It would, however, have made much more sense to PM her about this.

She was PMed, and she ignored it.

erinlovesdavid · January 2012

tonir319:
i understand being upset but I really think you are attacking someone whose actions are bring misinterpreted. I really think, even the link, had good intentions of spreading the word of zacharys story to garner additional support and prayers for the family. I hope you know that no one would want to cause this mother any additional pain.

Please show me where anyone "attacked" this individual. PPs have simply pointed out that her (probably benign and misguided) attempt at support is inappropriate. No one thinks that she is intentionally trying to cause pain to anyone. But just because she wasn't trying to hurt someone doesn't mean that she didn't. Surely you understand the distinction? The correct thing to do is to apologize and correct the mistake, not ignore it and run away.

How do you think you would feel if after your sweet baby died, you wrote a heartbreaking post to inform your friends of your tragedy, and then almost 20,000 people read your story but fewer than 3% of those people bothered to offer you any condolences? Would you feel supported? I doubt it. You would feel like a spectacle. Having a link to Amye's post in her siggy is only exacerbating this.

numb3rMel · January 2012

I'm sorry you view my choose of support that way. I read the threads and it was suggested that support be open to every board to allow for a moment of silence. I followed a link from another non-loss board. It was NOT under any intention meant to take anything away from Amye. I took down the links abut I will be keeping the badge until tomorrow. Just because I don't know her personally does not mean I support the out pour of support any less. I want to help support the spread of the moment of silence.

Whenever I see badges, I want to know what the person is supporting. However, I guess that's just me. Again, I apologize if you took offensive to the links. They are down now.

TeacherVicky · January 2012

numb3rMel:

I'm sorry you view my choose of support that way. I read the threads and it was suggested that support be open to every board to allow for a moment of silence. I followed a link from another non-loss board. It was NOT under any intention meant to take anything away from Amye. I took down the links abut I will be keeping the badge until tomorrow. Just because I don't know her personally does not mean I support the out pour of support any less. I want to help support the spread of the moment of silence.

Whenever I see badges, I want to know what the person is supporting. However, I guess that's just me. Again, I apologize if you took offensive to the links. They are down now.

Thank you for removing the link.

erinlovesdavid · January 2012

numb3rMel:
I'm sorry you view my choose of support that way. I read the threads and it was suggested that support be open to every board to allow for a moment of silence. I followed a link from another non-loss board. It was NOT under any intention meant to take anything away from Amye. I took down the links abut I will be keeping the badge until tomorrow. Just because I don't know her personally does not mean I support the out pour of support any less. I want to help support the spread of the moment of silence.

Whenever I see badges, I want to know what the person is supporting. However, I guess that's just me. Again, I apologize if you took offensive to the links. They are down now.

Thank you.

rvandiver0705 · January 2012

Thank you!

on_a_whim · January 2012

auroraloo:
FWIW, it drives me crazy where's a popular badge in siggies that doesn't include a link to the story. If you want to gather support for something, a random badge gives no background, I prefer badges that link to the story. Otherwise, you're really just proclaiming your association with something, and the attention all goes to you, NOT to the person the badge was intended to support.
JMO.

ITA, rora....

...and...

I LURVE YOU. That is all.

Unem · January 2012

auroraloo:

FWIW, it drives me crazy where's a popular badge in siggies that doesn't include a link to the story. If you want to gather support for something, a random badge gives no background, I prefer badges that link to the story. Otherwise, you're really just proclaiming your association with something, and the attention all goes to you, NOT to the person the badge was intended to support.

JMO.

ITA.

mommabear7182 · January 2012

mommabear7182 · January 2012

Thanks!

pigtails1031777 · January 2012

If the badge was ment for you to know what was it about you wouldn't need a link. Just saying.

pigtails1031777 · January 2012

Thank you for removing the link.

Mid you ladies were with her during her painful journey you would understand.

rvandiver0705 · January 2012

Y'all just don't want to get the point. No one is starting a charity...friends of SMS decided to raise some money to send her some flowers and a gift card or two. No one that knows her is trying raise awareness about anything. The original moment of silence was discussed as something to do in her home board, where there is a precident, and in fact, an entire sub-culture of the bump.

All we are asking for is for those who don't know Amye and want to do something to honor her, please take a second to think about how would help Amye. If it doesn't, then keep brainstorming.

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