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To Doula or Not to Doula?

skibunny59skibunny59 member
in Natural Birth

Hi Ladies,

I'm a FTM planning a natural birth with a midwife in a hospital.  I'm 30 weeks pregnant.  DH and I have been going back and forth about hiring a doula.  First we said that we are could do it without one.  We are reading a lot and have a wonderfully supportive midwife.

Last night though it came up in conversation and we are now considering it.  We are taking an excellent natural childbirth class.  Although the class has given DH a lot more confidence (so far he will be my only support person there during labor), I think it has also helped him realize how helpful a doula could be.  In many of the videos that we watch in class there are doulas assisting and giving support to the laboring couple.  Mainly what we are concerned about is the money.  I know doulas can be pricey.

I just need some suggestions on what we should do.  Part of me is a little worried about doing this alone since we are first time parents.

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Re: To Doula or Not to Doula?

  • star173star173 member

    With a supportive midwife and husband, I don't think a doula would be necessary- provided that the hospital is supportive overall. I assume they are since midwives practice there, but I could be wrong.

    That said, I do think a doula would be helpful for sure. Can you check around for a student doula or something? Also, it won't hurt just to meet with one and see how you guys click with her. Good luck!!

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  • Katie31759Katie31759 member
    I'm a FTM as well, using a midwife at a birth center. We decided to hire a doula to have an extra set of hands. The midwife isn't going to be able to be in the room 100% of the time, and if it's a normal length first birth (12-17 hours), my husband is going to need a break. Also, on the chance we get transferred to the hospital, I really want to make sure we have someone who has our back. From what I've seen, a lot of doulas will work with you on a payment plan because they feel it's more important to have a birth assistant than to be able to pay everything up front. Good luck! =)
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  • august8080august8080 member

    Chances are the two of you would do just great on your own! That said, I've never heard of anyone that HAD a doula and regretted it, so I feel like you can't go wrong if you hire one.

    We didn't with DS #1 and the L&D was perfect. We are having one this time around just bc of the twin aspect. 

    GL!

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  • principessa81principessa81

    I really regretted NOT having a doula for the birth of my son; we were in a very natural-childbirth friendly hospital, DH and I had taken the hypnobirthing class, very supportive medical staff, etc. I didn't think we needed one. I had a very long labor (27 hours) and DH and I were absolutely exhausted by the time I delivered, and it would have helped both of us to have someone there who could have given DH a hand with the light touch massage, taken over for a little while so he could get some sleep, and just given me a better peace of mind. I will definitely have a doula when we have another baby.

    I also wouldn't let the price stop you from getting a doula, either. I know of many doulas who will use a sliding scale for pay, or you could look in to using a student doula. Good luck!

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  • Texas77againTexas77again member
    get the doula!
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  • ghdst1ghdst1 member

    You should check around for local doula agencies because their prices all differ.  The agency that I am using ranges from $400-$900 depending on the level of training, certification, and years of experience.

    We are getting one and I am so happy to have the additional support and I think DH is as well.  You can always go and meet some, interview, and then decide if you think it is worth it.

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  • onyxmronyxmr
    *double post*
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  • onyxmronyxmr
    It wouldn't hurt to check around for prices. Our doula charges $900 for the "full" package, but we have until the baby's 1st birthday to pay in full (with a 1/3 down up front). Lots of doulas will work with you on the price & options. Good luck!
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  • aliciarosetaliciaroset member
    We were very happy that we hired a doula.  I thought of my doula as a birth ambassador. No amount of preparation on our part could replace her experience. I chose the doula I did because I wanted her expertise in movement during labor in a hospital setting. I'm convinced that without her guiding me through the (4.5 hours) pushing stage I would have very likely ended up with a c-section. I'll say that the moment I met her I knew I wanted her at my birth. She made me and my husband feel totally calm and cared for. Her support was invaluable before, during, and after labor.
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  • Mrs.MauiBride24Mrs.MauiBride24

    As a FTM, we are going w/ a doula.  I wanted to set myself up for as much success as possible with the things surrounding the birth that I can control. 

    GL! 

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  • MamasaurusMamasaurus member

    For me, the deciding factor in hiring a doula (I am in the process now) was realizing that I really need help getting into and sustaining many labor positions. The more pregnant I get, the worse my SI pain/sciatica gets. My husband is a human being who has to eat and pee; he will be a big help, but I need somebody as a backup. Are you going to be able to depend on a nurse or other staff to help you if you are having back labor or something else that makes laboring in a good position hard for you? If not, you should arrange for that help (doula or otherwise) ahead of time. Up until I accepted how much help I am going to need, I was convinced I would not need a doula. The first time I got "stuck" in a squat, the quote about pride messing with you from Pulp Fiction popped into my head, and I knew that feeling too proud to ask for help was going to make labor a lot harder for me if I didn't get past it soon.

    So, I guess if I were you, I would try to honestly assess the areas where you think you will need help. If there are a lot of them, and if there are things that a doula would really help with more than another type of support person, the sooner you start looking, the better. If you are worried about money, try to find an apprentice doula, or one who is recently accredited. Apprentices sometimes work for free, and more experienced doulas tend to charge more.

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