Moms of 2+: Is it hard not to compare/favor?

cs1007 · January 2012

Sort of a follow up to post below...

Just cuious...I know I will love DS#2 like crazy-I already can't wait to meet him! That being said, DS#1 and I are super close. I am not trying to be 'that mom' and brag...DS is just very easy, funny, happy and smart! I am already worried about 'comparing' DS #2...which I know is not fair....Is it hard not to compare?

Brewtowngrl · January 2012

I compare because they are both so different, but I still love them both. I have found that since DS1 is just like me and DS2 is just like DH that I have a better bond with DS2 and DH has a better bond with DS1. We don't love one more then the other though. It is hard to explain.

AmandaP678 · January 2012

Brewtowngrl:
I compare because they are both so different, but I still love them both.. We don't love one more then the other though. It is hard to explain.

This exactly!

dionnemd10 · January 2012

behavior/attitude/personality wise my kids are almost polar opposite--my first is too sassy for her own good and too smart as well she knows what she wants, always has and isn't afraid to tell us how she feels--wears her heart/emotions right on her sleeve. She is all woman--turns it on and off and has the diva to go with it. wouldn't trade her for the world-keeps me on my toes and frustrates me as well. she is 5 going on 15 depending on the day!

my second is all boy--laid back, cuddly, rough and ragged. he wants to do everything his big sister does.

i don't favor one over the other--one is younger has different needs than the older. we do girl days, special time with both, special time alone with each. one is my first born, both will always be my babies..

so comparing is hard not to do, favoring is easy not to do

Pesky · January 2012

I do tend to compare -- I think that is inevitable. I certainly don't voice the comparisons to each other, unless it is something like telling DD DS is eating his dessert because he already cleared his plate while she hadn't yet (in response to her question). Favor -- it's a lot easier than you think to avoid this. I tend to favor each of my kids for different reasons so it all equals out. DD is very artistic and FIL calls her the girl of 1000 faces while DS is very analytical and stubborn. You just tend to enjoy the best of each.

Smores730 · January 2012

When you say he's "easy, funny, happy and smart", soon enough you're going to have a list for #2 too. It might be a completely different list, but however your 2nd one is, you'll find yourself loving whatever he brings to the table. At the end of the day, there's a lot of truth in your love doesn't get divided it only multiplies.

Sawyerplus1 · January 2012

AmandaP678:
Brewtowngrl:
I compare because they are both so different, but I still love them both.. We don't love one more then the other though. It is hard to explain.
This exactly!

Yeah, this.

What really irks me is when OTHER people compare them, and then voice the comparisons (specifically b/c DS has a severe speech delay and DD is very advanced in her speech; everyone compares them and it drives me NUTS!)

12bailey18 · January 2012

Compare? Yes (in good and bad ways!) Favor? No, not at all. They are both completely different and completely separate. I love them equally in totally different ways. I think it's hard to explain until you experience it.

wall0307 · January 2012

I do compare, but not in a way that one is better than the other. It's exciting to see how similar and how different they are.

nola Steph · January 2012

Brewtowngrl:
I compare because they are both so different, but I still love them both. I have found that since DS1 is just like me and DS2 is just like DH that I have a better bond with DS2 and DH has a better bond with DS1. We don't love one more then the other though. It is hard to explain.

This is a good explanation of how I feel also. I don't favor one over the other, but they are both so different. It's hard to compare them really when seriously everything about each of them is the complete opposite of the other. I will be honest tho and say that I dote on/baby DD2 more because she has been more high maintenance, but that certainly doesn't mean I favor her. I only hope it doesn't come off to themthat I do. I struggle daily to provide equal attention to each of them.

nola Steph · January 2012

Brewtowngrl:
I compare because they are both so different, but I still love them both. I have found that since DS1 is just like me and DS2 is just like DH that I have a better bond with DS2 and DH has a better bond with DS1. We don't love one more then the other though. It is hard to explain.

This is a good explanation of how I feel also. I don't favor one over the other, but they are both so different. It's hard to compare them really when seriously everything about each of them is the complete opposite of the other. I will be honest tho and say that I dote on/baby DD2 more because she has been more high maintenance, but that certainly doesn't mean I favor her. I only hope it doesn't come off to themthat I do. I struggle daily to provide equal attention to each of them.

MaxandRuby · January 2012

You compare because it is human nature.

DS1 is easier in some things and DS2 is easier with some things. My 2 boys are similar but they are also different at the same time.

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