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Parenting
How old is to old to start a family?
What age do you think is too old to just start having kids? ?And, do you think that starting is different than continuing (i.e. ?you already have X number kids, and this is another one)?
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Re: How old is to old to start a family?
I think it all depends on the person... I have friends in their late 30s/early 40s starting their family or having more kids. But I do think the women in their 50s & 60s giving birth are kinda crazy.
i personally wouldn't want any babies at 40, but i know lots of other folks do.
i was 23 when i had the teen, and then when she was 4 i left the ex. i remarried at 34 and had the bean at 36. we aren't having any more.
and in answer to your other question, i need clarification. do you mean, is it different physically? i guess i don't know what you're asking.
it depends on the person. i was 30 when i got married and 32 with ds and now i will 34 with #2. it probably was not what i had in mind when i was younger, but thank god everything worked out this way. my parent's had my youngest brother when they were 40, and it turned out well. he was a suprise, but worth it.
sam-mommy to brady 11/6/06 & #2 edd 4/1/09
Yeah... 50 is pushing it. The lady that has the record for oldest mom to give birth is over 70.
I have no idea how she can manage!
I guess what I was asking is, If you think 40 is too old to start a family, is that just to old to have kids.... or just to have your first... (I'm using 40 arbitrarily).
?
And to answer my own question, I think 45 is kind of the oldest that seems "normal" to me.?
I think you should seriously consider not having kids after 35 given what we know about the risk gradient. And I have to admit a woman having her first baby after 40 I thinks whoa, why would you take that risk?
Yes it is different if it isn't your first because the risk profile is not as bad for later kids.
That's my general view, though I understand some people who know the risks take them because they have special circumstances. As long as you know you're taking the risk and aren't going to go off and abort the kid if your number comes up, fine.
For me, I wouldn't want to have a kid past about 33 (so I'm nearly out of time). And I really wanted to be done by 30 which since I'm probably one and done turned out to be right.?
At 50 I think there is just no excuse ever, I don't care if you haven't gone through menapause, you need to move on with your life at that point. It is not all about you, it is not healthy for the baby.?
when people get pregnant at 40 it makes me nervous. So I think 40, though I recognize accidents happen and it is still nerve wracking but offset a little (in my head logic) if it's the 2nd or 3rd kid... afterall, what if you didn't meet your spouse til you were 35 and spent all that time trying to crack out the kids? :P
but for me PERSONALLY, I needed to be done BEFORE 35. We had it timed out to have a third and be done at 33-34 (giving time for not getting pregnant right away.) I can medically not have more, but we have two and are still blessed. I'll be 33 in a few weeks and am glad to be done with babies!
MMML, can you just crawl back under whatever lovely rock down under was keeping you away from us these past few months? I seriously never get bent out of shape about Nest posts, but lately you are like nails on a chalkboard and I freaking can't take it any more.
If you knew as much as you claim about the "risk gradient," you'd know that 35 is actually a rather arbitrary dividing line. Your risk of chromosomal abnormalities and infertility is actually going up incrementally starting in your 20s. 35 is the year at which your risk of having a baby with an abnormality finally equals the risk of losing a baby from an amnio, which is why doctors recommend it then. But if you think somehow stopping at 33 because your risk is going to start getting exponentially higher once you hit 35, you're absolutely wrong. Google and you can find the risk charts by year of age.
I knew the risks quite well and had both my healthy children after 35. I'm sure they'll be happy to know that some uninformed woman on the Internet thinks I should have "seriously considered" not having them.
menopause?
I'm glad I started when I did, but I'm not a "young mom" by any stretch of the imagination.