I can't help but to relate to Leah- teen mom

gekeler6 · January 2012

So...I don't watch the drama tube because I think those shows are stupid......but can't help but see a few posts about Leah on teen mom being pregnant with twins again. I see what all the bumpies are saying and can't help but feel these are also directed towards me. I know you all don't know my situation, but I was a teen mother of two sets of twins and I turned out (and all of my healthy girls) turned out fine too! Birth control can fail and yes people can have unprotected sex once and get pregnant. I didn't get my own tv show and I would never care to sign up for such a stupid thing. The state does not help pay for my children and I don't get free rides, I did on occasion get help from family when I truly needed it. I worked hard to support my children and learned from my mistakes in the past just like most people do. I had two sets of identical twins by the time I was 19, and I wouldn't take them back in all the world. I think I'm a damn good mom and hopefully we can all hope for the same about Leah. I hate some of the opinions I have read because this hits me and hopefully no one would feel the need to say those things to me.

mamabear0813 · January 2012

The difference is that this girl is CHOOSING to open up her life to the criticism and is contributing to the glamourization of teen motherhood. You know as well as anyone that it is NOT like teen mom. These girls are getting paid to be on the show and they play it up sometimes too! The show, from what I've seen of it, doesn't show how hard emotionally, physically, and spiritually it is to be a teen mother. I'm so glad I didn't make the same choices, but my sister had her first baby at 16, her second at 18, her third at 21 and her fourth at 24. I know from her experiences what it is like. And the toll it takes on the rest of the family.

If your story could be told, and you could tell it for real about how hard you had to work, and the sacrifices you had to make and the goals in your life you had to put off or change, THAT would be good TV. It would be amazing if you were actually able to speak to Leah, person to person, to give her your wisdom.

mommypro · January 2012

First I just wanted to say that your girls are beautiful! I did not read any of the posts about Leah and I dont watch the show but I do know where your comming from. I was a teen mom too. I remember how people looked at me when I was pregnant and all the negative comments too. They said I was going to be nothing but a statistic and generally thought I was going to be a bad mom because I was young. I still get looks from people when they hear I have a fifteen yearold son and they do the math after finding out how old I am (32). People generally go with the steriotypical idea of a teen mother. It made me all the more determined to NOT be that person they were so sure I was to become. I have been with the same man, who was my first and the father of ALL my childeren for 16 years now. I got no help from anyone as far as "raising" my kids. I have gotten financial help from family here or there in really bad times but who hasnt? Like I said I dont watch the show but I hope the best for any young girl who finds herself pregnant. I know what a hard road it is but it can be done and you not ALL steriotypes fit everyone.

mrmistyeyed · January 2012

First, I think it is remarkable that you could support two sets of twin so young. It truly takes a strong person, and from what I see around the bump, you are a great mother (sorry I don't mean for that to sound stalkerish haha) I agree with you 100% though. Being a good mother has nothing to do with age, it has to do with how you are as a person. I am 19 and pregnant, and wouldn't change it for the world. I think people need to keep some of their opinions to themselves, because unless you really know Leah, how can you say she won't do just fine?

mrmistyeyed · January 2012

mamabear0813:
The difference is that this girl is CHOOSING to open up her life to the criticism and is contributing to the glamourization of teen motherhood. You know as well as anyone that it is NOT like teen mom. These girls are getting paid to be on the show and they play it up sometimes too! The show, from what I've seen of it, doesn't show how hard emotionally, physically, and spiritually it is to be a teen mother. I'm so glad I didn't make the same choices, but my sister had her first baby at 16, her second at 18, her third at 21 and her fourth at 24. I know from her experiences what it is like. And the toll it takes on the rest of the family.
If your story could be told, and you could tell it for real about how hard you had to work, and the sacrifices you had to make and the goals in your life you had to put off or change, THAT would be good TV. It would be amazing if you were actually able to speak to Leah, person to person, to give her your wisdom.

I guess you don't regularly watch the show, because I don't know one person who sees what those girls go through and think "hey lemme go get knocked up too!" The show shows you it is not easy to be a teenage mother, especially in Leah's case.

SheenaNash1 · January 2012

I wouldn't take it personally, although I know it may be hard, because the reports that are coming out are saying the she is excited about another set of twins because of the TV show possibilities involved. It seems as though she is hoping to profit off of her children. Now, these are reports from celeb sites, so how true they are is anyone's guess.

That being said, you sound like a truly remarkable case! I would venture to guess that most teen moms with two sets of twins were probably not practicing safe sex and also are mostly likely relying on some sort of state assistance. And I don't care how old you are or if you have twins or not, if you are practicing unprotected sex and end up with kids you can't afford (and not once, but twice!) you deserve to be set straight.

dojo1 · January 2012

Not related to your post at all, but I always thought your twins were fraternal since the ability to have fraternal twins is genetic so it makes sense that if you have them once the odds are pretty good to have a second set. It's CRAZY that you had two sets of identicals!! The odds of that must be astronomical! Your girls are beautiful - I'm floored by the odds is all!

Heddarc · January 2012

I don't watch the show and I don't read the posts because I have a real disdain for those kinds of shows and cannot really support them at all. But from what I've gotten to know about you after weeks of being on the April board together, I'm sure you're a great mom to your beautiful girls and will be to the next little girl too.

Head high Gekeler!!

JENVALENTINE1981 · January 2012

All I can say is I give you alot, alot of credit for caring for four babies that young! I got pregnant with my oldest son when I was 17 and he was born right after I graduated high school and turned 18 so it was very hard. I was fortunate enough to have wonderful parents who were gracious enough to allow me to stay in their home with my son but it was hard on all of us. I agree with PP that the difference is you have not tried to seek out publicity for your situation or feel like you are entitled to everyone's support/financial help. It is what we do with our circumstances that matter and both of us did the best we could with the resources we had, we loved our babies, we grew up and put their lives before ours/sacrificed and things have turned around...that is the best outcome you could have hoped for!

kjg5445 · January 2012

gekeler6:

So...I don't watch the drama tube because I think those shows are stupid......but can't help but see a few posts about Leah on teen mom being pregnant with twins again. I see what all the bumpies are saying and can't help but feel these are also directed towards me. I know you all don't know my situation, but I was a teen mother of two sets of twins and I turned out (and all of my healthy girls) turned out fine too! Birth control can fail and yes people can have unprotected sex once and get pregnant. I didn't get my own tv show and I would never care to sign up for such a stupid thing. The state does not help pay for my children and I don't get free rides, I did on occasion get help from family when I truly needed it. I worked hard to support my children and learned from my mistakes in the past just like most people do. I had two sets of identical twins by the time I was 19, and I wouldn't take them back in all the world. I think I'm a damn good mom and hopefully we can all hope for the same about Leah. I hate some of the opinions I have read because this hits me and hopefully no one would feel the need to say those things to me.

and your girls are absolutely GORGEOUS!

Monicagail1 · January 2012

Hey Gekeler-

Sorry if any of this hits too close to home for you. I linked the article on a couple of boards, but of course didn't, in any way, mean for it to be directed at you. FWIW, based on the comments I've read from you over the last few months it's clear to me that you and Leah are worlds apart in the mom department, even if the common link is 2 sets of twins (assuming what's being reported is true). And I never realized you were a teen mom either. It seems to me that you are an excellent example of success under incredible odds!

As for Leah-I've only seen her 16 & preg episode, and a few Teen Mom 2 episodes, so I'm no expert. However, as you said in one of your posts, the odds of winning the lottery are probably better than having two sets of twins, so I feel for her if it's true. Heck, I feel for anyone with two sets of twins, regardless of their age. I can't imagine the amount of work and patience that would require.

pacsunqtaz · January 2012

I wouldn't let these comments about Leah bother you at all- I think if you actually watched the show (and I mean all of it about her from 16 & Pregnant to Teen Mom 2) you would never ever feel like you related to this girl beyond the vaguest resemblance of your situations.

These ladies' comments are so harsh towards her because they're venting their frustration over the absurdity of it all- that she's a vapid, self absorbed teenager who's made poor life decision after poor life decision and jumped from guy to guy all in the hopes of staying in the MTV lime light a little longer and she's succeeding. She contributes absolutely nothing to society (on the show she plays a dental assistant, with no training mind you, one day a week) and she's glamorized simply for breeding. She should be ashamed to be compared to real mothers like you, who did it all on their own... but trust me, she isn't.

TKx2 · January 2012

My issue with her is that it seems like she's looking at her kids as a big dollar sign. There have been statements from her about how she's excited for another set of twins b/c she thinks it'll help her get her own spin off and thus more money. I give you all the credit in the world for raising 4 wonderful girls, especially as a teen mom!

ateal2490 · January 2012

I think a lot of the criticism that is directed toward Leah is because of the other choices (mistakes, rather) that we've watched her make...such as getting married and then turning into another statistic by getting divorced a few short months either.

I also feel as though she should have taken the time to heal from the divorce. She also needed to take the time to make sure the twins she already has are developing properly.

Getting divorced after an express message, then dating immediately after, then becoming pregnant again is the reason I don't agree with her decisions. The fact that she is having twins has no pull on my opinion...she doesn't command sperm or her eggs into creating twins. It just happened.

Sidenote: your daughters are adorable kudos for you for beating the odds as a young mother...times 4!

526SadieSadie · January 2012

As one of the people who posted about Leah, I sincerely apologize to you and any other teenage mothers who were offended. It was not my intention to cause any distress.

Other posters have hit the nail on the head - the reasons for the negative posts about Leah are most definitely that she's using her age and her children to cash in. It's the reason to dislike most of the girls on Teen Mom (like Amber and Jenelle, who could have turned their MTV paychecks into a positive future for their kids, but they have to stay away from drugs, jail and toxic men to do so.) Please know that any negative comments were directed at the cast members of the show.

My best friend had her son at 18 and married (and later divorced) her controlling, abusive, douchebag of a boyfriend. I watched her struggle for years and it broke my heart. I didn't experience it first hand, but I had a ringside seat to helplessly watch how hard it is to be so young with a child. I truly mean no disrespect to any of my fellow bumpies who have done it.

greengirl0909 · January 2012

First of all, no one expects you to wish your babies gone. It's a given that moms typically love their babies no matter when they arrive. However, let's say you could have waited to have the girls until you were out of high school, gainfully employed, and would be guaranteed they'd arrive the same, etc. You have to admit teen parenting is a hard road.

The other thing you have to recognize is that you are the EXCEPTION.

80% of teen moms are receiving welfare by the time their baby is 5 years old.

60% of teen moms don't finish high school

95% of teen dads have no contact with their baby by the first birthday.

https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/Default.htm

This site can be a little biased, but presents information on the money spent to help teen moms raise their children. It's a 9 billion dollar expense for our country.

https://www.thenationalcampaign.org/costs/national.aspx

runrinserepeat · January 2012

DO-JO:
Not related to your post at all, but I always thought your twins were fraternal since the ability to have fraternal twins is genetic so it makes sense that if you have them once the odds are pretty good to have a second set. It's CRAZY that you had two sets of identicals!! The odds of that must be astronomical! Your girls are beautiful - I'm floored by the odds is all!

All of this! I've seen your siggie before and I always wondered about the story behind those four girls. I never imagined it was two set of identicals, because that seemed to unlikely. They're beautiful, btw.

As far as the show, I don't really watch it that often. When I do, I'm struck by the tough situations that most of the moms find themselves in.

tartaruga · January 2012

greengirl0909:
First of all, no one expects you to wish your babies gone. It's a given that moms typically love their babies no matter when they arrive. However, let's say you could have waited to have the girls until you were out of high school, gainfully employed, and would be guaranteed they'd arrive the same, etc. You have to admit teen parenting is a hard road.
The other thing you have to recognize is that you are the EXCEPTION.
80% of teen moms are receiving welfare by the time their baby is 5 years old.
60% of teen moms don't finish high school
95% of teen dads have no contact with their baby by the first birthday.
https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/Default.htm
This site can be a little biased, but presents information on the money spent to help teen moms raise their children. It's a 9 billion dollar expense for our country.
https://www.thenationalcampaign.org/costs/national.aspx

Thank you for this.

sbost0118 · January 2012

mommypro:
First I just wanted to say that your girls are beautiful! I did not read any of the posts about Leah and I dont watch the show but I do know where your comming from. I was a teen mom too. I remember how people looked at me when I was pregnant and all the negative comments too. They said I was going to be nothing but a statistic and generally thought I was going to be a bad mom because I was young. I still get looks from people when they hear I have a fifteen yearold son and they do the math after finding out how old I am (32). People generally go with the steriotypical idea of a teen mother. It made me all the more determined to NOT be that person they were so sure I was to become. I have been with the same man, who was my first and the father of ALL my childeren for 16 years now. I got no help from anyone as far as "raising" my kids. I have gotten financial help from family here or there in really bad times but who hasnt? Like I said I dont watch the show but I hope the best for any young girl who finds herself pregnant. I know what a hard road it is but it can be done and you not ALL steriotypes fit everyone.

This. I have a very similar story. I'm 31 with a 14yo and an 11yo plus my little guys a baby on the way. I got all the looks and comments when I was younger as well. I was kicked out of a private prep school and lost alot of so-called friends. I've been living on my own since I was 17 and bought my first home at 21. It was a tough road and no matter how hard I was working, I still had to deal with judgemental crap.

I don't watch the show, so I can't say anything about where Leah is as a mom. The fact that she's now either allowing herself to be exploited for MTV, or is exploiting her own kids to make money on tv does say something and raise questions about her motives with this new pregnancy. However, this may be the best way she knows to make real money and support her family. There's no job she could get with her education and experience that would pay for daycare on 4 babies.

My real problem is with the Teen Mom show itself. MTV is using children (the moms, dads and babies are all children) to get ratings regardless of the impact on their lives or what kind of influence these people may have on other young people. Why glorify something that by all accounts is not the life we want for our own kids?

cathom7 · January 2012

Your girls are GORGEOUS!!! And the other thing is... IDK what's been being said, but from what i have seen(regardless of her relationship stuff), she is an EXCELLENT Mom! She is Wonderful with those girls, and they both work. AND have the show. I Seriously DOUBT we are paying for her kids. Her Mom and sister watch them and they live within their means, from what I have seen. People need to get a grip and look at the 2x4 in their own eye before trying to pick out the splinter in someone else's.

greengirl0909 · January 2012

sbost0118:
My real problem is with the Teen Mom show itself. MTV is using children (the moms, dads and babies are all children) to get ratings regardless of the impact on their lives or what kind of influence these people may have on other young people. Why glorify something that by all accounts is not the life we want for our own kids?

I know the ultimate goal of MTV is obviously to make money, but I do feel like they've made some efforts to try to make the teen mom experience less glamorous. I mean, lots of the episodes end with the mom saying something like "it isn't like I thought it would be" and they have lots of programing for safe sex and abstinence during the show. I'm not sure I have a better suggestion for providing education that will reduce the number of teen pregnancies.

gekeler6 · January 2012

Thank you all for the positive things you have said. i did not post this to recieve attention, I was just on a rant last night. I did work hard and I did go to college and still going to college (now on a break for the new baby). I was a little surprised to hear she is also a dental assistant.......I am also a dental assistant (CREEEPPPPPPYYYY)......is she stealing my life?! My kids are number one and they do come first. I try to live within our means also and just know that if we can't afford something than we just can't afford it. I don't spend money on myself so that my kids can do things. I'm not upset for those who posted their opinion or those who posted the topic, but it does hit home for me. I couldn't imagine raising my kids while having camera's watching everything I do, I couldn't imagine wanting to be on tv for being a teen mother. I never had thought of getting publicity or payment for having my kids. After my second set of twins were born, the local newspaper did a story about me and put me on the front page....I was mortified. Not only did they turn it into a chaotic story, but the comments people made were awful. Many people were against me going to school because they thought it was selfish, but I went to school so I didn't need to depend on the state to help me and to be able to have financial independence (as much as one could have raising a big family). I don't like putting myself and my kids in the public eye, there would be no reward for that.

Thank you all for the nice comments, I really thought this post would have been gearing towards the whole, "you did it to yourself' post. .....which I totally accept the responsibilty for.

wildermom · January 2012

If it makes you feel better, looks like she's actually not having twins...

https://abcnews.go.com/blogs/entertainment/2012/01/teen-mom-leah-messer-im-not-having-twins/

And you sound like an incredible mom!! I'm speechless at two sets of twins (and while you were a teenager!) Woah. You must be super woman.

And to echo the obvious - your girls are absolutely gorgeous!!

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