Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: I keep finding conflicting information about epidurals stalling labor
I stalled out too and I really and truly believed it was from the epi. I was induced and went aobut 5 hours without the epi and then had my water broken and my pain level went way up and I got the epi. Ended up stalled for 5 hours and then had a c/s because the pitocin was maxed out and "there's nothing else to try" they said. Labor time = 19 hours from start of pitocin induction to c/s.
So I was dead set against an epi the second time.
Guess what... I stalled again. Without an epi. Turns out, it's just me. I had a childbirth book that showed a "normal labor curve" with progression measured against time... I fell off that chart.
I decided to get an epi. And honestly, in the back of my mind... I was doing it to prepare for the c/s that I felt was coming. Fortunately my OB was SUPER patient and said lets see what happens.... and after a while, things started progressing again. OB said he felt that sometimes an epi can help a woman relax and it can help. And it did, but slowly. Very slow progress and a lot more patience from my OB and I had a successful vbac. Labor time = 29 hours, 24 hours of it in the hospital, 19 hours from start of pitocin.
In both births, the babies never had any fetal distress. After my 2nd experience, I feel like the epi wasn't a factor in having a c/s, I feel like it was my OB. She wanted to go home and didn't have the patience to wait for my slow labor.
P.S. The ICAN group in Houston is really nice. I don't know where they're meeting these days, but they meet once a month and have a fairly active discussion group on yahoo.
Some studies have found a correlation between epidurals and stalling, but correlation is not causation. It could be that people with long, hard labors are more likely to stall and also more likely to ask for epidurals, for example. Some studies have found no link at all. Basically, it's not a clear-cut, black-and-white thing. There are too many variables in labor to say for sure.
You could have stalled for any number of reasons? cervical scarring (e.g. from a prior LEEP), the baby being a poor position, your being stressed, etc.
FWIW, I didn't get an epi during my first labor, which ended in c/s anyway, but I did get one during my VBAC. Like PP said, it helped me relax. I had been stalled at 7 after more than 24 of labor but fully dilated in two hours (while asleep!) thanks to the epi.
Yes, there have been some studies that suggest they might be correlated, but no definite connections.
With my VBAC, it took me almost 17 hours to get to 5 cm (with an induction). I was exhausted and opted for he epi at that point. I was complete an hour later. My midwife said the same thing that sometimes the epi helps you relax and stopd your body from fighting the hard contractions. So, for me, the epi was not a problem. That said, I have heard that you don't want to get it too early in labor. It doesn't sound like tha was the case with you.
My blog
This! I was induced from 0%/0cm and was progressing really slowly. After 48 hours of a very slow induction, the stadol got me from 4cm to 6cms in like an hour and the epi got me from 6cms to 10cms in a few more hours.
I also shared your concern going in, but I don't think there's a clear cut answer. With #2, I will try to avoid or put off both induction and the epidural, because I want to be able to move around during labor.
With DD, I was induced and got the epidural pretty early. Pitocin contractions and being stuck in bed on my back, I asked for it not long after 3cm. I do think it contributed to me stalling out and having a C-section, but I also think she just wasn't ready to come out (I was misdiagnosed and induced because of that, at 39 1/2 weeks).
With DS, I went into labor spontaneously, and while I wasn't progressing very fast, I was still progressing. I got the epidural around 7cm, passed where I stalled out with DD and had the C-section. I was pretty much complete in an hour. I had been trying to relax but I know I was fighting the big contractions before the epi and that helped me get there.
Sarah - 12/23/2008
Alex - 9/30/2011
"I say embrace the total geek in yourself and just enjoy it. Life is too short to be cool." - Shirley Manson, Garbage
With DS, I waited till 7-8cms before getting the epi. From the time my water broke & contractions started till I reached 8 cms was less than 5 hours, so it was pretty quick.
Once the epi was in, it took me a further 8.5 hours to progress to 10 cms (bearing in mind the average is like 2 hours I think).
So I am convinced that the epi stalled my labor, absolutely. I am really hoping not to get one this time.
Pinterest
Or we're saying what the evidence actually shows. I have no motivation to tell anyone on this board (or otherwise) what they want to hear.