Please help me with my anxiety....=(
srbmvp
member
Hi ladies, I haven't been on this board in quite a while, but I found it to be a wonderful resource at my worst moments, and I'm hoping you might be able to help me now.
A quick background, have suffered from some depression all my life. Was on Effexor when I got PG with DS1, weaned myself off it during PG. I then was railroaded with debilitating PPD and PPA as soon as DS1 was born, could not function. Went back on Effexor after about 3 weeks and it helped emmensely and I started to become normal again. Stayed on Effexor until I got PG again.... weaned off it again....
So here I am, halfway through a spontaneous twin PG with double the hormones and double the stress, and I'm going nuts! OB does not want me to go back on meds until the twins are born, and I'd rather not, but I need help.
My anxiety is back strong, feel like I'm on the verge of panic attacks all the time. I'm also feeing depressed and sad about the future, everything from all the risks and dangers of carrying multiples to how I'm going to deal with 3 under 2, to how we are going to make ends meet financially, etc, etc. I'm not enjoying being PG, I'm not looking forward to the future, I'm just scared and overwhelmed. And I feel completely alone.
Here's the worst part of it all.... When DS1 was born and I sunk, I started smoking again. I kept wanting to quit and meaning to quit, but it never happened. Then I got PG again. (Please don't flame me, I hate myself enough as it is).... I've been cheating and stealing cigarettes from DH on occassion. I know how truly horrible that is, and I don't want to hurt my babies, I just don't know how else to cope. DH says he will quit and he's going to do Chantix, but he's been putting off getting the meds, and in the meantime, I have access to cigarettes, and ugh......
Please help me. If you have any advice on dealing with the anxiety and depression without meds, I'd gladly take it. Do I need to just tell my OB I can't handle this anymore and go back on meds, even at the risk of the babies? I don't know what to do.... I don't really have anyone to talk to except DH, and he is a wonderful listener, but I don't think he really knows how to help me, try as he might.....
Thank you for anything you can offer me... sorry this is so long....
Re: Please help me with my anxiety....=(
I am also trying to get through pregnancy without my normal anti-depressant (Effexor). I'm 15 weeks and struggling more as the weeks go by.
May I ask whether or not you have a psychiatrist? He/she may have more experience with antidepressants and pregnancy than an OB. Generally speaking, I would think an OB would always lean towards no medications, but they are not medical experts on the brain or on psychiatric medications.
My psychiatrist has told me that if my anxiety or depression become unmanageable, she would be very comfortable putting me on Zoloft or Prozac. She has had lots of patients take these during pregnancy, with no negative impact. These are classified "Category C" for use during pregnancy, but only because there haven't been a lot of formal studies on humans. However, these medications have been around a lot longer than others (e.g. Effexor), and as time goes by doctors are getting more comfortable with their using during pregnancy. My OB is deferring to my psychiatrist in terms of whether or not I should be taking anything. She has had patients on anti-depressants and is fine with that as long as they are under a psychiatrist's care.
If your health benefits allow it, might I suggest therapy? In order to try to stay off medication, I've started going every week. It does help a lot, as does exercising to burn off that extra anxiety.
Please don't feel bad if you end up needing to take anti-depressants. You are not alone. And think of it this way -- there are people with more severe mental health issues than depression for whom it is literally impossible to be medication-free throughout pregnancy (schizophrenics for example), and many of them take much stronger medications and still come through with perfectly healthy babies.
Also... My therapist has mentioned a non-addictive anti-anxiety medication which is classified pregnancy "Category B", which is a rarity for psychiatric meds. The medication is called Buspar. You may want to bring this one up with your doctor as well.
One final note... If you do decide to go without medication during your pregnancy, you may want get a prescription ready so that you can start anti-depressants immediately after birth. It may mean that you can't breastfeed, but don't let anyone give you a guilt trip over that. You don't want to fall into a major postpartum depression, and with your history, it sounds like that is a real risk. I'm probably going to go straight back on Effexor once my baby is born, and he/she will be formula-fed. I'm no good to my baby if I'm a sobbing hysterical mess, and formula these days is much better than it was a generation ago.
Thank you so much for your response!
I do have a therapist in town that I went to see for a little while. The issues I'm having are that I don't really have the time or money to see her right now... but if this gets much worse I may have to just figure out a way to make it happen. I think I will keep that one in my back pocket.
I honestly think just talking will help, whether to a therapist or to friends or to people on the bump. So thank you for listening!
OP-- there are SAFE meds for you to get on. Talk to your doctor, please. It's worse to have the Anxiety and Depression that it is to be on meds. You are going to be OK, just remember that. The meds will help you and you will feel better really soon. Once techique that works for me is breathing slow, counting 8 in and exhaling, counting 8 out. Also, when I feel a panic attack coming on, I tell myself these things:
1. It will pass, I've been through this before.
2. Everything is fine, I will be alright.
3. Nothing bad is going to happen to me, it's just a chemical imbalance in my head.
4. No one died from feeling anxious.
Good luck sweetie, all will be OK, promise
Thanks for the post! I will start doing some research on safe meds to take....
It occurs to me that I'm not even remotely looking forward to the twins being born, so I think it's becoming obvious that I need to get some help....
Even without a history of depression, being pregnant with twins is HARD! One of my babies was a lot smaller, and every ultrasound gave something new to worry about. I had a hard time starting to buy things for the twins because I was so afraid they wouldn't make it. I felt huge and tired so much earlier, so emotional and sick all the time.
I didn't have depression before, so I don't have good advice. I just wanted to say, hang in there! You are doing something difficult, especially with an older child to take care of too. I hope it gets better soon!
I was diagnosed with PPA 15 months postpartum. I am on meds now, but a lot of the things my therapist told me MAY help:
#1, lots of people try to escape the anxiety, my therapist had me come to the present WITH the anxiety.Try this, sit with your legs apart on a couch, with your heels touching the floor, your palms face up with your back of your hands resting on your knees. Then start this: If your anxious feelings has a smell, what would it smeel like, if it had a color, what color would it be, if it had a texture, what would it feel like, if your anxious feelings had a taste, what would it taste like, if it had a sound, what sound would it make.
Activity 2: try to stop using "judgement words" especially for experiences that may happen in teh future. She held out a pen, asked me if it was a good pen, bad pen, etc. Well all I knew was it was a pen, and she told me to stop with the judgements of everything, it just IS.
Activity 3: Coming to the present- when I get anxious, it's normally because I am wrapped up the future, what ifs "What if I don't sleep" If I get sick, etc. So to become present, she told me to Name 5 things I could see (Name them OUT LOUD), 4 things I could hear, 3 things I could feel, 2 things I could smell, 1 thing I could taste. THe act of becoming present in the current moment, not one that doesn't exist was quite calming in the middle of an anxiety attack.
The final thing she taught me was to be present. When i am playing with my son, play! When I am eating EAT, when I am worrying WORRY but don't try to do things all at once.
These things helped with my anxiety attacks.
Buspar and Ambien helped my sister in her pregnancy when she was having anxiety issues.