Becoming a SAHM?

AdamsKitten · January 2012

So talk to me about going from two incomes to one and becoming a SAHM... DH and I are trying to weigh our options. I am having a very, very difficult time with the fact that I'm going to be leaving our baby and going back to work in 4 weeks. I've always thought we needed my income to get by, but after looking at pur expenses closely, it could be possible for me to stay home. It would be tight, but possible. I think we would have 350ish leftover each month after bills/gas/groceries... Which is REALLY scary to me. So, ladies who have gone from working to staying at home - how was the transition? What areas dis you cut back? Thanks!!!!

libbyann · January 2012

My answer might not count because now I'm a WAHM, but when I made the decision to become a SAHM, I had a not-yet-off-the-ground business and it was probably a really stupid financial decision. But it's been worth all the financial sacrifice and worry for me to be at home with my kiddo.

The transition was hard for us because DH's salary didn't leave us ANYTHING left at the end of the month and some months we didn't have enough to cover everything. I ended up watching kids out of my home to help bridge the gap until my business got off the ground and I started making a consistent income. DH got a new job in August, but from August of 2009 to August of 2011, we did whatever we could to cut costs. We were on an incredibly strict budget. We cut cable. We had $50 of "fun" money a month. We hardly ever ate out. We went for over a year of being a one car family. I cried on more than one occasion at the grocery store because I was so stressed trying to make the $100 weekly budget for groceries stretch.

I wouldn't trade any of it, though. Being a SAHM has always been my dream...and while I'm not technically living my dream, I'm home every day with my child and that's what is important to me. If it's what you want and you can make it work, I'd definitely say to go for it!

august8080 · January 2012

We planned on me going back to work like 25 hrs/wk after DS was born. I pushed it back til he was 4 months and then lasted a whopping 2 days. I just couldn't do it. My heart always wanted to stay home with my kids and on top of that, he wouldn't take a bottle so I felt like I was starving my baby. I hated it.

It's been hard, I won't lie. I do work about 10 hrs/wk but also had to take a major pay cut to be able to WFH. I'm so grateful to even have the option, but that hurt us on top of my already reduced hours. However, we chose to prioritize me staying home and I'm so glad that I do.

I called almost every provider we have and tried to lower our monthly expenses--cell phone, TV/internet/cable--we got rid of our home phone. I checked on our homeowner's insurance and car insurance to make sure we weren't spending more than we needed to be.

We set a strict budget and our discretionary spending for us as individuals and for DS is very small compared to what most of my friends spend.

Cutting way back on eating out was a BIG one. Also, I meal plan so that when I go grocery shopping, I'm only shopping from a list and getting what we need.

We cloth diaper and I breastfed for 22 months, which saved us a ton of money. (Diapers are so $$!)

I stretch my haircuts about a month or two longer than I used to.

We don't take the vacations that we used to.

DH has a lot of earning potential in his field so we don't feel we're going to be in this situation forever. Hopefully in 5-10 years things will be really different and me being a SAHM will be very comfortable for us financially. Not having the disposable income that we had for the first 4 years of our marriage sucks sometimes and it has put stress on us, but we are more than willing to make the sacrifices that we are making now, for me to stay home with DS and the babies that are coming.

Sinafey · January 2012

Will your LO be going to daycare if you don't SAH?

It's worked better than we expected. The only thing we've really cut back on is cable tv, which we replaced with a Roku for Netflix and Hulu. I now have the time to hunt for deals on all of our purchases. DD and I hang out with other SAHM friends on most days instead of spending money going out, and I cook almost all of our meals (usually from scratch) instead of eating out. I also DIY all of our household cleaners and some of our personal care products, which saves us a ton.

I also don't need to replace all of my fancy work clothes and shoes, don't use as much expensive makeup, don't get my haircut as frequently, etc... that doesn't mean I've totally given up on myself, but I don't care about expensive highlights as much when I'm not surrounded by fashionistas all day All of these little things really add up!

kiarox2002 · January 2012

When I first quit my job, we pretty much cut everything except for iPhones and netflix. No cable, no vacations, no eating out, cloth diapers, no fun money for either of us besides Christmas money or DH's bonuses. No fun money meant no pedicures, no highlights, no haircuts, no new clothes, no new craft supplies. I'm not going to lie, it was hard and it was a *huge* transition from where we had been.

We've relaxed some and now get $25 a month each. It's glorious. We also eat out a lot more than we used to.

DH doesn't make enough money for me to not work at all, so I started babysitting when Kate was 9 months old and now do that 2-3 days a week. I feel like she needs to go to some kind of preschool when she turns 3 so I found another part time job in the evenings after she goes to bed. Fingers crossed, she'll be able to go to school 2 mornings a week when she turns 3.

I now work 32 hours a week to be able to stay home. It's so worth it though.

thethomps · January 2012

We really cut back our eating out budget. I make dinner almost every night of the week, except Saturday. I also watch the "extras" I buy at the grocery store, Target, etc. My gas usage has gone down considerably since I don't have to drive to work everyday, so that's a cut in our budget. Obviously, I'm not clothes and shoe shopping like I used to when we were both working. I can't remember what else we've done off the top of my head, but I'll post more when I remember!

MrsAJL · January 2012

I wouldn't do it right now, honestly. You're making this decision based on emotions ("I am having a very, very difficult time with the fact that I'm going to be leaving our baby and going back to work in 4 weeks.")

My advice is for you to go back to work and then bank your paycheck for at least three months. You should also really see what your financial situation is. What is your debt load? What are your financial goals? How long do you plan to stay at home and how do you plan on securing your retirement?

Look at your budget very closely and determine all your fixed and variable costs. Then make a budget on just one income and live on that while you bank your paycheck.

If you have no savings and staying at home will put you living paycheck to paycheck, then I would advise against it at this point.

kirknsarah · January 2012

DH is starting back to school on Tuesday to finish his degree, so we are now a one income family. I know it's not exactly what you're asking for, but one income is one income right?

We planned for a year to make this happen. We paid off my car two years early, so now we have no car payment. We paid off all credit cards. We also put a ton of money into savings, then lived off of my income for his last three months and put that into savings. In addition, we dropped cable, our home phone, and the house alarm. He got a lower cell phone plan and uses Google Voice for texting. We use coupons at the grocery store, and try to buy seasonal fruits and veggies. We also got a Costco membership, because you can save a ton on meat there. I have virtually given up pedicures and facials, and am going longer between hair cuts. Finally, we only eat out once a week or so, vs the 4-5 times a week from before.

Added bonus: when this LO arrives he will be the SAHD.

My advice is to figure out what it will look like for you to stay at home, and then figure out what you need to do to get there. Good luck!!

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