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Tell me to mind my own business

cchill01cchill01 member
in VBAC

My sister and I are extremely close.  She is due on Sunday (1/15) with her first child.   Her Doctor has set an induction date for 1/18 due to scheduling and because she doesn't like people to go past 41 weeks.

I've been trying to gently convince her through the whole pregnancy that it's in her best interests to let the baby come when it's ready.  We all thought that she would go early because of pre-e, edema and 80% effacement.  So, I was hoping it wouldn't even be an issue. 

I kind of freaked this morning and told her that her doctor is flat out wrong - medically, statistically.  I know I shouldn't have done that - my DH even warned me last week to keep it to myself.  I just see her heading down a bad path.  I really wanted her to have a better experience then me. 

I guess I need to send lots of labor dust her way and hope that her body gets moving.

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Re: Tell me to mind my own business

  • MAprincessMAprincess member

    I hear you.  So many people just blindly trust that their doctor is thinking if their best interest and health and not just scheduling and convenience.  And really, a lot of those doctors aren't evil or anything- it's just how they have always done things and people have let them.  To schedule an induction before 41 weeks is insane since 41 weeks is much more the norm than 40 weeks.  What happened to 42 weeks for a first pregnancy, at least?!

    But if you have already gently told her what you thought-or mentioned stats, there's not much more you can do.  She is probably tired and her doctor has convinced her that this is the best thing for her.  I doubt you are going to change her mind at this point and the argument isn't worth the strain on your relationship.  We'll all be hoping for the best for your sister!

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  • YaraCYaraC
    Unfortunately, you can't get people to listen to what they don't want to hear. I've really had to bite my tongue with friends who talk about their induction dates or how their docs won't let them go past 40 weeks. I generally ask a few questions and then share my experience with interventions, but I can tell they don't want to hear it. Nobody thinks the crappy experience will happen to them.
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  • nosoup4unosoup4u member

    Oh jeez, that is hard! I might be in the minority, but if it's my sister, I would definitely just tell her my concerns (but I wouldn't give a friend unsolicited advice or anything).

    How did it go over when you told her? I hope she goes into labor on her own, too!

    DS1 - Feb 2008

    DS2 - Oct 2010 (my VBAC baby!)

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  • cchill01cchill01 member
    imagenosoup4u:

    How did it go over when you told her? I hope she goes into labor on her own, too!

    I'm older - so she's used to my unsolicited advice : - ).  She also knows that I'm pretty cynical on traditional medicine and really scarred by my own experience.   But, I don't want to cause her any extra stress.  So, I said my piece and now I'm going to try my hardest to leave her be to make her own decision. 

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  • rbytsdyrbytsdy member

    I went through the same situation with my sister.  Her doctor wanted to induce her ON her due date.   My sister, thankfully, decline but her doctor set an induction for 41 weeks.

    So my sister went in and 12 hours later pushed out a posterior baby.  I had 23 hours of spontaneous labor and 6  hours of pit before being declared "failure to progress" at 5cm.

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  • cchill01cchill01 member
    imagerbytsdy:

    I went through the same situation with my sister.  Her doctor wanted to induce her ON her due date.   My sister, thankfully, decline but her doctor set an induction for 41 weeks.

    So my sister went in and 12 hours later pushed out a posterior baby.  I had 23 hours of spontaneous labor and 6  hours of pit before being declared "failure to progress" at 5cm.

    Yeah, I have to remember that induction doesn't equal a bad outcome.  There are lots of successful inductions.

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