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can't get a straight answer from mil

WassygirlWassygirl
in Babies: 0 - 3 Months

 i don't post a lot, but i'm really frustrated with my mil. we get along perfectly normally, but i'm about to get testy.

normally my mom watches my son while we are at work. occasionally, my mil will watch him. i have him on a regimented nap schedule thanks to healthy sleep habits, happy child. so, when i come home from work and ask my mil how long he has been awake, she doesn't know. i ask how many naps he took and how long, she guesstimates. she sometimes says she couldn't get him down. so, i say, you go through his routine and you put him down. if he cries a little it's fine. she says that she lets him cry, but she also says she can't get him down. it totally doesn't make sense to me and i can't get a straight answer! what would you do??

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Re: can't get a straight answer from mil

  • ABMcKinneyABMcKinney
    Maybe she justs wants to play with him all day and doesn't put him down???
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  • TiaGTiaG
    I'd be thankful that my MIL was watching my dc.
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  • MrsGo4HockeychickMrsGo4Hockeychick member
    find a new sitter. Even if DD doesn't follow her usual routine when someone else has her, I'd at least expect them to know when she last ate/slept/was changed.
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  • Brookie-CookieBrookie-Cookie
    well, she clearly doesn't agree with your sleep methods.  I guess I would explain the routine out again and tell her how important it is to you.  Go from there. 
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  • ad*H*abad*H*ab
    Take a note pad the next time she watches him and aske her to document his day...feedings, sleep time, awake time...that way you'll know for sure. Have you make notes of any super fussiness or inability to get him to sleep.
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  • WassygirlWassygirl

    i am thankful. that's not the issue. and, it's also why i'm hesitant to say anything. but, you all know that sleep is extremely important for babies. i'm asking for advice on how to handle it.

     (and, you're right- she does just want to play with him)

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  • WassygirlWassygirl
    good idea on the note pad. thanks so much!
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  • hmmshmms member

    I like the notepad idea too - our babysitter plans to do that when I return to work too.

    Maybe you could model your routine for her?  It's probably very different than how she put her own kids to sleep.  Show her very specifically what to do - she might not get it?  (I am a Kindergarten teacher and modeling is ALWAYS important)

    Lilypie - (vulX)

     

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  • BackBayGrrlBackBayGrrl

    I could have written your post about a week ago!  When I expressed my frustration, DH pointed out that they are not mind readers and I can't expect them to know Baby (or why to use schedule) as well as I do, so to offer tips for making such a schedule work. Long story short, they were amazed and we're all on the same page now!

    I wrote an schedule of "A day in the life of DD", for anyone who watches her (keeping it broad rather than just for ILs so they don't feel bad--but it still worked!). Something like this, but I added some humor: 

    • 6 or 6:30 DD wakes up and talks to herself in crib for ~30 min
    • 7am change and clothe, time for first bottle. Usually takes 9 oz, with a break in the middle to look around
    • 8:15:  nap time! DD has been up for 2 hours and needs her rest--she goes down without fussing, taking a pacifier and in a sleep sack, usually for an hour. If she cries with eyes closed, try putting pacifier in again and she will continue napping. If eyes are open and she is chatty, she's read to play.
    • When DD wakes up, it's a great time for tummy time, a stroll outside or just playing.
    • 11am: DD takes her second bottle and will play for a bit
    • Noon: nap time! This is the long nap of the day, usually 1.5 or 2hrs.
    • 2pm: Play time, have fun!
    • 3pm: DD takes third bottle of the day
    • Between 4 and 5pm DD will start to fuss a bit--she is ready for a cat nap, usually 20-25 min
    • 6:15: Bath time or a warm washcloth for DD's face and hands, and then clean diaper and PJs
    • 6:30: last bottle of the day, listening to Kenny G, lights dim, pacifier and sleep sack. DD will be asleep by 7. If she cried, wait 2 minutes and she will fall asleep.

    Good luck, however you manage! And of course, DC will be fine if he's off schedule once in a while... but I TOTALLY understand how you feel!!!

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