do you ever get jealous of pregnant women?

opallover · January 2012

I had an early loss my second pregnancy and baby Evie was my thrid pregnancy and we had all these issues.

I'm finding myself getting jealous of women who are currently pregnant and doing well.

Silly, I know. I have my baby home with me. Everything should be fine.

But.

But. I'm jealous because they may never know the sadness/frustration/fear we went through.

Not that I WANT them to know it. I'm just jealous. Meh.

HEmery · January 2012

I've never been a jealous person but I'm highly jealous of the month board bumpies that have these beautiful big stomachs. There is nothing that I ever wanted more in my life to but to be big and pregnant and I didn't get to experience that. This high amount of jealousy is something that I've never experienced and I'm sometimes at a loss of what to do. It's almost anger.

I'm also jealous of the young girl across from Walker in the NICU. Her baby is fine, just came early. Off all medicines and machines and on full feeds (of donor breastmilk because, God forbid, letting pumping ruin her day). She's aggravating. She peeks in on her baby and then leaves. Only spends like 10 minutes and is clearly dressed to go out. Walker's primary had to say something to her last time.

I could go on and on about this girl.

lemen99 · January 2012

Yep - I'm happy for them, but had a yearning to experience that for me, and my child. Luckily DS2 was much closer to term (35w4d) and it was wonderful!

Mrs. Alice · January 2012

Absolutely. My pregnancy was nothing but normal. I dislike that it's one of the reasons why I want to have another baby in the future. Even though I had a big ol' full term looking pregnant bump before I delivered (because of twins and excess amniotic fluid), it still sucked that I didn't get to experience much of a 3rd trimester and nearly half of my 2nd trimester was spent on bed rest.

Clotho! · January 2012

Yes. I do. I want to know what it is like to have a normal stress free pg. Which, I have never had. I m/c our 1st at 10 weeks. Then our other 3 were all preemie. So never once have I had a pg where I'm not worried about something. I mean I don't want them to have to know what it feels like to go through what I have but they just don't know how lucky they are.

SushiNoMore · January 2012

Mrs. Alice:
Absolutely. My pregnancy was nothing but normal. I dislike that it's one of the reasons why I want to have another baby in the future. Even though I had a big ol' full term looking pregnant bump before I delivered (because of twins and excess amniotic fluid), it still sucked that I didn't get to experience much of a 3rd trimester and nearly half of my 2nd trimester was spent on bed rest.

This. Very jealous of people who have full-term pregnancies, and I worry that my desire for a second baby is colored by my desire for a full-term baby.

Rachie_B · January 2012

Unfortunately, all the time. It was certainly worse while I was in the NICU.

gysberger04 · January 2012

Yes I do, all the time. My sister and I just had our first children (our due dates were 2.5 weeks apart) so after I had my DD 2 months early, I had to watch her get her big belly and have the third trimester complaints that I wanted to experience (oh, and the maternity photo shoot and an easy vaginal delivery). Also, my cousin's wife is having their second child next week so I have had to be around two very pregnant women immediately after having DD these last two months - it's definitely not been easy. Now, my sister is taking her two week old son out to Target, Caribou, mommy and me classes, out to lunch - all things I would love to do with my DD but can't due to the RSV risk. It just plain sucks.

BritanyV · January 2012

Right now I am torn between being jealous that I didn't get to "finish" my pregnancy and being thankful I have a 5 week old instead of just now having a newborn. Such weird emotions.

mariposa_atl · January 2012

Not so much anymore, but when she was in the hospital and it was before my DD, yes, very much so! I felt like I should have still been pregnant. We did IVF, so now I sometimes wish I were one of those women who could "plan" number 2 without worrying about IF and getting preeclampsia again.

jenmikw · January 2012

This too. But I don't want to think about what I would feel if I end up having another preemie. I hate to admit it but I wonder what my feelings would be like if my "do-over" didn't go as planned and frankly I hate how I use the word "do-over" in my head. There are a lot of emotions that need to be sorted out before I travel done that road. But at this point in time I hate to think it but I think we're one and done because I just don't want to risk anything.

I hate how I had a small belly even for Owen's gestational age, and that was the whole problem. And I hate how people at work before Owen was born were are like "you look so good. Small belly." And when I visited a while ago they brought it up again. I know they have no idea who Owen came early (I don't really talk to those people), and I think they were just trying to be nice but it STINKS.

At work one of my colleague's wife had a baby two days after Owen (about a week late), and I HATE hearing about how she is doing this and that. I want to be happy for them but it bites when people ask me if Owen is doing such and such...

and I digress to vent...

jenmikw · January 2012

This too. I am angry but also so happy that things turned out ok and I went for an ultrasound because I hate to think what would have happened if I hadn't.

adrielegorburu · January 2012

I have a lot of jealously issues about it - I also worry that my desire to have another right away has a lot to do with it. I always think "next time......" but im excited for my friends that are having term babies right now - even when they are complaining about their third tri stuff and "want this baby out right now" - its taking a while but I'm getting there

Bookwormyone · January 2012

Yes. My cousin and my good friend are both pregnant right now and while I'm happy for them I'm also jealous. I wanted a vaginal birth and had an emergency C instead. They still have the possibility of things going how they want them to. It's clearly too late for me.

My biggest issue now is breastfeeding. I had a few serious infections post section and was on tons of I.V. and oral antibiotics. Even pumping every two hours around the clock (to dump because there weren't safe antibiotics for the specific infections I had) I was only getting half an ounce a day, and after two weeks of that my milk completely dried up. I wasn't able to attempt breastfeeding in the hospital and the day Violet came home I was admitted.

I wanted so much to breastfeed her and wasn't able to. I'm pretty bitter about it, but I don't want to be. She's healthy and beautiful and it bothers me that the whole situation still gets to me. I'm bothered about being bothered I guess Stick out tongue . You aren't alone, OP. I think it's getting better with time.

lwmooney87 · January 2012

HEmery:

I've never been a jealous person but I'm highly jealous of the month board bumpies that have these beautiful big stomachs. There is nothing that I ever wanted more in my life to but to be big and pregnant and I didn't get to experience that. This high amount of jealousy is something that I've never experienced and I'm sometimes at a loss of what to do. It's almost anger.

This exactly. I get so mad if they complain about being pregnant too and want their baby to come early.

kelkel09 · January 2012

yes, I totally feel the same. I think it's normal after what we have been through. It's similar to when I see babies who were born smaller/younger than our twins, but they are doing much better than DS. I don't wish ill on them in any way, but I can't help but feel jealous. It's just hard to understand why we are forced to go through this.

opallover · January 2012

So, I asked my doctor about having another baby... not that we are going to but I don't want to pisha the idea. Take away my ability to reproduce and I'm just the same as a man. Ugh. Good thing, she said I can "absolutely" have another - good. Right?

Now the worry about getting pregnant with my ONE tube left and my super scarred ute.

Lovely.

but I sometimes wish she was still inside me doing well and getting big and being healthy. ::sigh::

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