WWYD? Grandpa wants to take LO to MCd's everyday

lalavvv · January 2012

My 3 1/2 year old is the first grandchild in our family, and so my parents and siblings are enamored with him. About once a month or so, we let him sleep over there house for the weekend to give me a little break while I take care of other things, and because they generally ask for him to stay over and love to play with him.
My dad always takes him somewhere fun, usually outside or to a playground. But since the cold weather hit, he discovered that McDonalds has an indoor playground, and that would be a great place to take LO. Also, add to that the fact that LO is now suddenly at the age where he is talking a lot and able to voice the things that he wants.
Here is the problem. One weekend he was over there and my dad proceeded to text me all three days of the weekend that they were on their way to mcdonalds....On the third day I intercepted him by calling and saying enough's enough. My husband and I are not big on fast food - maybe once every 3 weeks we will get something from a drive thru. We try to eat moderately healthy at home. And also we use things like McDonalds and Chucky Cheese as a RARE treat promised to our LO for special ocassions only. I explained this to my dad. He got real whiny with me and dropped several excuses like, well we got apple dippers instead of fries, there is no where else fun for him to play since its cold outside, he loves playing with the other kids, thats the only reason why they go... etc. He basically implied that he would take him there everyday he is over their house if he could. And he texted me a picture of him eating a whole milkshake. And said "how can you say no to this".
Its bad enough we are barraged with McDonald's commercials, and everytime we pass by the golden arches, he begs to go. LO is very understanding and we usually tell him no, another day only for a special treat and he says ok. But I worry about him feeling he is entitled to go all the time because of they way my dad spoils him.
I put my foot down with my dad and told him since he was taking the whole Mcdonald's trips to the extreme that he can only take him one time per calendar month, if that. Since the last time we talked I haven't sent LO over for a sleepover. But when we saw our family over the holidays, my dad made sure to mention to LO "hey next time you come over do you want to go to McDonalds?" and of course LO got all excited. It makes me mad. He has agreed to my rule but I still feel like he is encouraging LO to think more about MCDonalds more and more and is spiting my feelings on the subject. I have no problem not sending him over there anymore if my dad disrepects my rules. But I think its sad because LO and him have always had a great loving relationship, and now my dad has made it to where all LO thinks about first and formost when he thinks about grandpa is MCd's and not just enjoying time with grandpa. It's all really annoying to me.
What would you do?

byrne15 · January 2012

I think it is really sad that your dad taking him to Mcd's 3 times in the entire month is making you this worked up.

Honestly, you are so lucky that your ds has a grandpa that loves him so and enjoys him. It is probably making your dad's entire month by bringing him there and seeing him so happy.

If this is seriously one of your main concerns, consider yourself lucky. I am on grandpa's side for this one, sorry.

Mrs Manners · January 2012

I'd tell grandpa that it's totally fine to take him to McDonalds to play when the weather is bad, but that you're only ok with them actually eating there once per weekend. I'd also try to find some alternative indoor play areas (like bounce house or kids gym) and let your dad know about those options since they involve indoor play and not food.

Pesky · January 2012

I totally get where you are coming from. 3 options I see:

1. Put your foot down. "Dad, I love that you want to make him happy and spend time with him but that is not healthy for him. Loving him means sometimes doing things he DOESN'T want to do because they are the right and healthy choices for him. I'd ask you to respect that and limit your trips to once a month."

2. Let him go to McD's but either, as a pp suggested just limit it to using the playground or limit the menu options. Okay, he can go carte blanche once a month but otherwise, he is limited to apple slices, salad, yogurt parfait, oatmeal and so on.

3. Just let it go altogether. Honestly, like you, I probably wouldn't be cool with this option as I wouldn't want to set up a bad pattern and would want to emphasize it is a treat, not a right.

Court0026 · January 2012

Ah, this is one issue we don't have to deal with because of DS's allergies. Nobody wants to take him out to eat LOL. I am pretty opposed to fast food. I eat it maybe 2x a year on a vacation or something, but I hate it and it hates me, so I am probably not the most neutral person here

I do think it is possible to play there and not eat the junk. Also, do they have healthier options that your LO will go for? Tough situation.

cecee36 · January 2012

Let me first start by saying that I can TOTALLY understand your concern. With all of the information out about childhood obesity and preservatives in food, eating healthy and staying active are important not just for children but for all of us. I'm not the healthiest of eaters but I do try to teach my daughter better eating habits and I'm always encouraging her to try new fruits and veggies, even if she doesn't like them. Having said that though, I don't think the one weekend that your son spends with your father/family is enough to outweigh all of your hard work in keeping him healthy. McDonald's does have healthy options like apple slices and parfaits and there's 100% juice and lowfat milk to go along with the happy meals. I'm not sure how much your son eats but my daughter hardly EVER completes an entire Happy Meal and she's what I'd call a "big eater". Your concerns about the healthiness of the food there is valid; however, I think the good eating habits you teach him will translate to him making good choices when you're not around. And isn't that what all parents want anyway? I can't tell you how many times I heard this growing up: "It's easy for you to do the right thing when I'm with you. But are you doing the right thing when I'm NOT?" Not to toot my own horn, but I was.

Your son will too. Let him eat his fries and burn it off in the inside playroom with grandpa. Lighten up a little and let him enjoy his time with grandpa--it's their "special thing" and all kids need that. You can feed him lots of healthy food when he gets home. GL!

luvmagoldn · January 2012

This.

rsd12 · January 2012

Sorry, but I am jealous that the grandparents take him for a weekend. I kind of think they should spoil their grandkids. If anything I would not dictate what they can and can't do, they obviously raised you right ; ) But I agree with making suggestions to help them out with things to do during the winter (bounce house, library, museums, ). I love our local library and it has grandparent/grandkids programs on some weekends.

RoxBride · January 2012

I think it is fine if grandparents spoil their grandkids. So as far as him feeling entitled, I'd just say when you are with gpa, you get to get spoiled. Around here, we have to follow every day rules. No biggie.

And really, this doesn't sound like the end of the world. Let them go. If he's eating apples and milk, and a burger, it is the end of the world? No.

trizzie · January 2012

Yep, this. Let it go. It is not an everyday occurence and it is something both your dad and your child will cherish.

KZBurnworth · January 2012

Total lurker here, but my god let your dad take him to McDonalds if he wants to and spend time with his grandchild! My grandparents use to pick my up from Kindergarten everyday and take me to DQ. I have the fondest memories of that and every time I eat at a DQ now I think of them. It didn?t kill me, it didn?t make me a fat@ss but it did give me lasting memories. I am sure once the weather is nice they will have other things to do and McDonalds will not be their go to place anymore.

howleyshell · January 2012

I think this is a great idea!

Sounds like he'd be taking him to an outdoor park if the weather was accommodating so he's simply doing the best he can with the only option he knows.

I'd tell your dad that you love that they spend time together but you really don't want him EATING McDonalds. The food is the issue here, not the play. Then I'd present him with a couple of other options and ask him which he thinks might be fun for them to do during their time together.

Most people respond better to alternative options than to flat out "no's".

Unless your Dad has a McDonalds food addiction or owns stock I'll bet he'll change venues happily with some suggestion!!

mittensonkittens · January 2012

I would not be happy with that either. My parents gave us a lot of fast food as kids, but I'm not ok with my kids eating fast food. If my parents took DS to McD's ONCE I would be annoyed, if they did it all the time I would be pissed. Like PP said, I'd find something else for them to do together. Even if it's just some special toys that live at Grandpa's house.

lalavvv · January 2012

Thanks all, for taking the time to write. I definitely appreciate all your opinions.
I don't want to downplay the fact that I know how blessed I am to have his grandparents in his life and in such a positive way.
I just don't want to lose sight of my parenting goals and consistency with him, just because he's with them.

shopgirl78 · January 2012

+1

but if you insist, find other options for them to play.

trizzie · January 2012

I respect that. But, I just want to add that it is once a month and it is a special treat with his grandparents. It is not you being inconsistent and moderation is important to learn in life. Not trying to change your mind, but just wanted to point it out. If you are insistent on this, then find them other options.

Spenjamins · January 2012

Exactly this. Give Grandpa a big hug and a thank you. Let the rest go. It IS a special treat for your child and seems like so much fun for both of them. Do not take that away from your child or your Dad.

Spenjamins · January 2012

Exactly this. Give Grandpa a big hug and a thank you. Let the rest go. It IS a special treat for your child and seems like so much fun for both of them. Do not take that away from your child or your Dad.

Spenjamins · January 2012

Exactly this. Give Grandpa a big hug and a thank you. Let the rest go. It IS a special treat for your child and seems like so much fun for both of them. Do not take that away from your child or your Dad. Childhood is

Spenjamins · January 2012

Exactly this. Give Grandpa a big hug and a thank you. Let the rest go. It IS a special treat for your child and seems like so much fun for both of them. Do not take that away from your child or your Dad. Childhood is no

Spenjamins · January 2012

Exactly this. Give Grandpa a big hug and a thank you. Let the rest go. It IS a special treat for your child and seems like so much fun for both of them. Do not take that away from your child or your Dad. Childhood is no fun unless

Spenjamins · January 2012

Exactly this. Give Grandpa a big hug and a thank you. Let the rest go. It IS a special treat for your child and seems like so much fun for both of them. Do not take that away from your child or your Dad. Childhood is no fun unless someone

Spenjamins · January 2012

Exactly this. Give Grandpa a big hug and a thank you. Let the rest go. It IS a special treat for your child and seems like so much fun for both of them. Do not take that away from your child or your Dad. Childhood is no fun unless someone gets

Spenjamins · January 2012

Exactly this. Give Grandpa a big hug and a thank you. Let the rest go. It IS a special treat for your child and seems like so much fun for both of them. Do not take that away from your child or your Dad. Childhood is no fun unless someone gets to bend the

Spenjamins · January 2012

Exactly this. Give Grandpa a big hug and a thank you. Let the rest go. It IS a special treat for your child and seems like so much fun for both of them. Do not take that away from your child or your Dad. Childhood

Spenjamins · January 2012

Exactly this. Give Grandpa a big hug and a thank you. Let the rest go. It IS a special treat for your child and seems like so much fun for both of them. Do not take that away from your child or your Dad. Childhood is no fun

Spenjamins · January 2012

Exactly this. Give Grandpa a big hug and a thank you. Let the rest go. It IS a special treat for your child and seems like so much fun for both of them. Do not take that away from your child or your Dad. Childhood is no fun unless someone gets to

Spenjamins · January 2012

Exactly this. Give Grandpa a big hug and a thank you. Let the rest go. It IS a special treat for your child and seems like so much fun for both of them. Do not take that away from your child or your Dad. Childhood is no fun unless someone gets to bend

Spenjamins · January 2012

Exactly this. Give Grandpa a big hug and a thank you. Let the rest go. It IS a special treat for your child and seems like so much fun for both of them. Do not take that away from your child or your Dad.

Want a personalized experience?

WWYD? Grandpa wants to take LO to MCd's everyday

Re: WWYD? Grandpa wants to take LO to MCd's everyday

Choose Another Board

Search Boards

Want a personalized experience?

WWYD? Grandpa wants to take LO to MCd's everyday

Re: WWYD? Grandpa wants to take LO to MCd&#039;s everyday

Choose Another Board

Search Boards

Re: WWYD? Grandpa wants to take LO to MCd's everyday