Working Moms

How did/do you handle high stress job and pregnancy?

I've only just found out I am pg, but in the past few days I have really realized how stressful my job is.  I'm an attorney who practices corporate/commercial litigation.  In a way, I am used to the stress, but when I start congnizantly thinking, "Don't stress--It's bad for the baby"  I realize how much I truly am stressing just hour to hour and day to day in performing my normal job.  When I start paying attention to things like my heart beating faster, or my shoulders/body tesning up, or my voice getting louder (and more aggressive),  or someone else screamng at me and just an overall feeling of being "rawled up"  I really realize that I spend a good part of the day with my mind and body in "stress" mode.  As I said, I've been doing this for years but now that I'm pg I'm worried about this affecting my pregnancy.  Anyone else have a high stress job and how do you handle it?  Did you leave work at a certain point during your pregnancy?  I've had a short struggle with IF and having a happy, healthy baby is definately my priority.

IF DX: DOR & Fragile X pre-mutation carrier
2011: FSH 13.3 & E 99; AMH 0.54 2nd FSH 6.2 E 40's AFC: 8
BFP from Clomid/IUI ~ Pre-e and IUGR during pregnancy ~ DS born 9/4/12
Feb./March 2013: AMH less than 0.16 (undectable) and AFC = 4;
BFP from supps ~ DS#2 due May 2014

May 2014 January Siggy Challenge:
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Re: How did/do you handle high stress job and pregnancy?

  • I am also a litigator and have just stopped worrying about work stuff.  With my first LO, I worked until the day before I gave birth.  With this one, I will go as long as I can as well. 
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  • Healthy babies are born in war zones, during coups, etc.  Do the best you can.  Litigation stress isn't like hiding-from-a-soldier stress; your body is stronger than you think.
  • Try not to worry too much about the stress.  Just keep your list of things to get done.  Try and be a bit more dispassionate about your work -- so when someone is yelling at you about something, just think "well, THAT's an interesting choice in how to handle it" and watch what happens.  I will say that the madder and angrier and more upset the other side gets, the calmer I tend to be towards them, more soft-spoken, carefully measuring every word.  Why?  Not only does it force me to not stress, but it controls my reaction so they aren't getting to me and the main part -- it INFURIATES the other side generally.  It's fun.  Also try a bit of mental visualization in the calmest and most relaxing place you can be -- feel the sun, wind, etc.  Those brief bits of meditation can help.  Also stretch a bit at your desk.  Just getting the blood flowing helps too.  I worked until the bitter end but things were definitely tapering off towards the end as they all knew I was going out.


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    DD -- 5YO
    DS -- 3YO

  • imageRoxyLynn:
    Healthy babies are born in war zones, during coups, etc.  Do the best you can.  Litigation stress isn't like hiding-from-a-soldier stress; your body is stronger than you think.
    LOL.  This is basically what I was going to say.  I'm also an attorney in litigation and I have several cases set for trial between now and my expected delivery date, even if they don't go you know of course that there will be mediation, hearings, and all manner of stressful things but you know you just roll with it.  On the one hand it's good practice for practicing with a little one at home, the reality is it's just a job and while the clients have it in their head that it is the most!important!thing! in the world the reality is it isn't.  You do your best, you breathe deeply and yes, when you can, you leave early.  Not necessarily going on leave early before delivery but just taking the time when you can.  GL!
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  • I'm a criminal attorney and was on a really high caseload and fast paced docket while pregnant. Also I spent at least 5 hours per day on my feet running around the courthouse and jail visiting. Honestly I think it was good for me. It took my mind off the minor aches and pains that come with being pregnant and I had more to think about than the typical pregnancy anxiety. I did have to make a huge effort to eat, drink water, and get enough sleep. And my evenings were more focused on relaxing and recharging than they used to be.I would hate to do that job the next time I'm pregnant, because hopefully I will then have a toddler at home, but if you can spend your free time in a calm healthy way and focus on taking care of yourself even under stress you'll be fine. Congrats!
  • All of what pp said!  When I was pg with DD, I had an 8 week trial.  Out of town.  That was a little stressful :)  But even with that, my pregnancy went great, and she came out 100% healthy.  I think the suggestions about taking time for yourself when you can and trying small mediations are great - also do what you can to not take things IN as much - you'll find that helps a lot.  Not to say act like you don't care, but do remember that your case going well or not is not the end all - be all in the world.  It helps me a lot to put things in perspective (my cases are always fights about money).  At the end of the day, your health and your baby are most important.  And congratulations! 

    OMG.  I meant MEDITATIONS not mediations.

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  • Apparently I'm handling it by spending too much time on TB.

    I'm also a litigator at a giant law firm.  I mostly do M&A related litigation/counseling.  High stress, lots of deadlines... but my husband claims that pregnancy has changed the way I stress.  Like - my body insists that I go to sleep, so I say, oh, I have so much work to do, crap... and go to sleep instead of staying up all night and getting it done.  And it is always fine.  Of course that wouldn't happen on a filing or a deadline that was hard and fast... but really, your body will tell you what you need to do.  Fit in yoga.  Drink a ton of water.  Work from home when you can.  We do great work, we win more than we lose, and it always gets done.

    On the other hand, if your office environment is one where people scream at you, that is another issue that is not specific to litigation, but to the culture of your firm.

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  • I'm also an attorney. Every morning when I'm getting ready for work, I just like to remind myself that nothing is really an emergency today, no matter who tries to make it one. Every woman knows what her own priorities are, and mine is definitely a healthy baby. Work is just work.

    From everything I've read, high stress jobs are not really the type of stress that would be likely to hurt your baby.

    Counting down the days until maternity leave helps as well! Stick out tongue

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  • Congrats on your pregnancy!

    I was a medical resident when I was PG with DS.  There was a lot of stress.  While I probably didn't handle it as gracefully as normal (due to hormonal craziness), it really didn't affect my pregnancy.  I worked up until the beginning of labor, although I reduced my hours in the last week or two (from 80 to about 30) because I was having constant contractions/false labor and was very uncomfortable.

    DS born 8/8/09 and DD born 6/12/12.
  • I'm a solicitor that practices M&A and securities law; and I kind of "thrived" on stress.  What I found helpful was taking little breaks throughout the day.  I used to not eat lunch and would work straight through.  Now I make a point of spending 10 minutes every morning eating breakfast at my desk, then a snack, then take a proper lunch, then another afternoon snack.  And I surf the internet and not even look at my phone or email while I do that; and I found that has helped a lot.  Shockingly, I still get everything done.  It also depends on how your firm is - I have a very good group that has been supportive so that has helped as well.
  • As an internal auditor that had to travel way to @#$%ing much while pregnant the only advice I have is the following:

    1. Download a good meditation CD- do a guided meditation where they tell you to be aware of your breath etc.

    2. Make sure to drink, eat and stretch as often as you need to (I was partial to little bags of the organic bunny mix...so much so that I now call DD "bunny").

    3. Get as much fresh out of the office air as possible. At lunch I'd just sit outside for 5 minutes breathing in the air outside.

    4. When all else fails realize that your tombstone/obit isn't going to say: "Excellent at meeting deadlines and compiling reports- always willing to work hard and be a team player- loved working 40+ hours per week."  It will read "Loving wife and mother." I realize it's cryptic but it was the only thought that would keep it together for me. 

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  • My job is constant deadlines, scrambling around at the last minute and sometimes long hours.  When I was pregnant with DS, during the day I made sure to get outside for fresh air, take a walk around the block, whatever.  Of course, this wasn't only to alleviate stress...it was to help with morning sickness and later on, the usual aches and pains of pregnancy.  At my desk, I would stop and take a few deep breaths.  I think when you're in a stressful job, you already know how to deal with it--pregnant or not.   I worked right to the very end...finished up work on Wednesday and in the hospital on Thursday.
     
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  • Thanks for all of the helpful advice!  Yall definately gave me alot of good ideas to try.  Thanks again! :)
    IF DX: DOR & Fragile X pre-mutation carrier
    2011: FSH 13.3 & E 99; AMH 0.54 2nd FSH 6.2 E 40's AFC: 8
    BFP from Clomid/IUI ~ Pre-e and IUGR during pregnancy ~ DS born 9/4/12
    Feb./March 2013: AMH less than 0.16 (undectable) and AFC = 4;
    BFP from supps ~ DS#2 due May 2014

    May 2014 January Siggy Challenge:
    image
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