Baby Blues? PPD? Normal Feelings? Anyone Else?

SmittyPants · January 2012

This has been the hardest week of my life. Today is the only day that I haven't cried since delivering her.

I love my baby, but I feel lonely, isolated, trapped, and overwhelmed with responsibility. I feel like my life is never going to be together again.

I hate breastfeeding, but I feel like I can't stop because it is what is best for her and that quitting makes me a horrible, selfish biatch of a mother.

I want to be one of those happy new mothers, basking in the glow of their newborn, but I'm not. I'm a stressed out, emotional mess who has been lashing out at her husband and not enjoying motherhood.

I know it's only been a week, and I need to cut myself some slack but it's hard. I wasn't expecting to feel this way and it's caught me completely off guard.

Anyone else?

star173 · January 2012

I think it's normal for the first couple weeks...everything is just SO different.

Why do you hate breastfeeding? If it helps, it will get easier. I would even encourage you to quit, but it's so soon, and from your post it sounds like that would be worse on you than sticking it out. Why not set up a mini-goal. Get to one month with BFing, and if you still hate it, re-evaluate. If not, set up a goal of 2 months.

Do you have family/friends around to visit or help you out? Don't be afraid to ask. Hell, pump a bottle and go for a walk or a pedicure or something.

Tell your H how you are feeling. I think it will pass soon, but if it doesn't, talk to your doctor. ((HUGS))

pcrock92 · January 2012

(I'm on my phone, sorry about no paragraphs!) I'm feeling the same way. I also cry a lot, and give my SO quite the attitude. I have to force myself to eat, and I just want to sleep all the time. I love my baby so much but I'm overwhelmed as well. I'm hoping things get better for you, I'm sure they will. I'll keep you in my T&Ps.

SoonToBeMsP · January 2012

Just sending hugs to you ladies. You all are amazing!!

Penguinb83 · January 2012

We ladies really need to quit trying to live up to all these feel good baby movies that we watch. They depict an unrealistic view of what motherhood is like directly after the baby is born.

I was in the same boat with my DD 7 1/2 years ago and I am sure I will have the smae thing with this one.

There is nothing wrong with you or the way you are reacting to Mommyhood! It is a whole new experience for you and it can be kind of scary and frustrating at times.

Like PP said, accept any help that is offered, there is no shame in it.

There is also no shame in getting out for a bit, with or without LO. If you don't take care of yourself, you have nothing to give to your LO.

Good Luck and Many Blessings Sweets!

SVAQ11 · January 2012

I can't really relate (yet) because I'm still waiting for LO to arrive, but have you posted on the Postpartum Depression board? I'm not saying you have PPD, and I'm sure these are pretty common feelings one week after giving birth, but maybe you can get a better sense of how normal your feelings are there. Also, you can probably get some good advice about how people are coping. If it continues or gets worse definitely go talk to your doctor. No shame in asking for help so that you can make the most of this time. And, honestly, I don't know if those glowing mothers really exist. Maybe a few, but I wonder how many of them are crying and snapping at their husbands behind closed doors...

megaloo27 · January 2012

I have been thinking about how I will react to her birth. I never cried at the appointments or even when I found out I was pregnant. I sometimes feel like I should be more emotional, but it's just not there. I think everybody processes changes differently.

MrsAMB07 · January 2012

I remember those early, overwhelming "What did I get myself into" feelings. Like life would never again be the same... and it's true, but you will find a new sense of normal. If there's anything I want to be sure to remember this time it's that nothing lasts forever. The early phase, the growth spurts/cranky baby phases, teething, etc. - When you're going through them they feel like they'll last forever, but they pass. This will pass too...try to take a little time for yourself, even if it's just a shower, walk, trip to go get a cup of coffee, etc. You will feel normal again!

Indiechixor · January 2012

With DS I cried the first night home, mostly because I wasn't feeling the "Bundle of Joy" feelings that I thought I should have been feeling. It took a lot of quiet time enjoying the sleeping peaceful baby to stop resenting the screaming/not latching/dear god I hate using a nipple shield baby.

If you can, take a long hot bath or shower while someone watches baby, and just enjoy some mommy time.

charity5115 · January 2012

I have felt the exact same way lately. Overwhelmed and just generally sad I guess. I cry pretty much everyday. One thing I found that helped is if I just have my good cry then go take a shower or something. I've also made it a goal to at least get out of the house once a day, even if it's only to get the mail.

Just know that you aren't alone at all. I'm always here to talk if you want to pm me. Sometimes it helps to just get it out. It makes me feel better to know that in not the only one.. Hope you start to feel better!

talitha712 · January 2012

I am right there with you. I finally turned a corner today with BFing and I'm not crying the whole time I'm feeding due to pain. I'm overwhelmed, stressed, a crying hormonal mess, and dreading DH going back to work next week.

Dasie515 · January 2012

HUGS!!!

I got PPD with my first and here is my advice.

1. Let DH give the baby a bottle if you need to get some sleep. If you do not get 3 straight hours a night you will get worse.

2. Night time is the wrost..turn on all the lights, put on some loud music and try to be as active as possible.

3. Talk to anyone. Get on the phone and just talk to get your mind off things.

If you need to talk to someone PM me. Happy to help!

paige0328 · January 2012

It's normal, and it absolutely gets better. Our LO has been home for a few weeks, and I feel exponentially better every day. The first week was killer... I felt so overwhelmed and alone, and I had no idea how I was going to manage. My advice, like others, is to ask for help if you can. It felt amazing to get a nap in, and go to the grocery store after being in the house for so long. Hang in there, it WILL get better!

Rey2009 · January 2012

pcrock92:
(I'm on my phone, sorry about no paragraphs!) I'm feeling the same way. I also cry a lot, and give my SO quite the attitude. I have to force myself to eat, and I just want to sleep all the time. I love my baby so much but I'm overwhelmed as well. I'm hoping things get better for you, I'm sure they will. I'll keep you in my T&Ps.

Yep this exactly. I love this little kid soo much and I really enjoy interacting with her. But I havent slept in bed with DH for 3 nights because its just easier to sleep downstairs on the couch and I've been co-sleeping (because the little darling wont sleep in her P&P ) so I really haven't had any intimate time with DH since she was born (no I don't want sex right now but there are other intimate things that could be happening)

Also I'm used to being my DH first priority. I'm the first to admit I was completely spoiled rotten by him. Now the baby is both of ours first priority. It makes me feel jealous and I KNOW that is ridiculous!

I was so worried about PDD because I have tended to be depressed in the past and I guess it is starting to happen.It freaking sucks.

I think its good for all of us to talk about it so we know we aren't the only ones feeling this way. At least it made me feel a bit better

SmittyPants · January 2012

Thank you ladies SO SO much. It's really good to know that I'm not alone and that these feelings are normal. I wish I would have been prepared to feel this way, I think it would have made things easier.

You are all so wonderful and its good to have this sense of comraderie.

mrs.larry · January 2012

Just wanted to add my voice to the masses telling you that I felt like that when my first baby was born, too. It gets better. It gets easier. I swear. I didn't believe it when people would tell me that, or it would seem just so far off, but it really does go fast and before you know it you'll be a pro.

Please don't be afraid to talk to your doctor if you still feel this way when you go in for your post partum appt (or before if it gets worse!) I was afraid. I didn't talk to anyone, really, and that was a mistake. This time I hope I know better, but I know how incredibly hard it is to reach out, too.

Many many hugs to you, lady. you're going to get through this and it's going to be so amazing. Hang in there!!!

PsyDr04 · January 2012

Yes, I feel EXACTLY the same way. My LO is a little over 2 weeks old now and I have cried a lot since we've been home. The lack of sleep is killing me because he likes to be awake at night and sleep during the day and would much prefer sleeping on my chest than in his bed or PnP. BFing is going better, but I'm confused about whether I should pump or not and everything I read online either confuses me or makes me more anxious. I have also apologized to DH for just about everything under the sun. I can't figure out how I'm supposed to sleep, eat, bathe, and do household stuff all while LO is sleeping. It's totally not working and I know I'm not eating nearly enough (if given the choice between sleeping and eating, I'm going to sleep). I'm only getting a couple of hours of sleep a day and feel so much pressure to have people come visit in a timely manner, get other things done around the house, and oh yeah, I have to find a job too. I wouldn't trade LO for anything in the world and I love him so freaking much but this is definitely the hardest thing I have ever done.

thelovelymissus · February 2012

I know what you're going through. I was so happy to be pregnant, and so looking forward to having my son. I just wasn't ready for being completely miserable since his birth.

I knew it would be hard, but I didn't expect to hate being a mother. I don't feel like my life changed; I feel like it ended. I cry a lot, either from feeling overwhelmed, or from feeling guilty. Af first I thought it was sleep deprivation (my son doesn't sleep well EVER) and I'd get used to it, but it's been seven months, and I don't feel any better.

I miss my life so much. There are days when I wish I'd never done this. I want to leave and never come back. I feel like I've lost myself completely, and I'm never going to get me back.

Is this normal, or is it PPD? Does it get better? How do I tell my husband that the son that made him so happy has made me utterly miserable? I don't know what to do, so if anyone out there has any suggestions or words of wisdom (or a one way ticket to some tropical island), I'd appreciate it. None of my friends have children, and I'm tired of feeling utterly alone.

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