Conversation with middle schoolers

LadyXaverian · January 2012

I teach 8th grade. I had a few girls ask me today, "What if you knew a 13 year old who was pregnant? Would that be bad?" I told them that I've known pregnant 13/14 year olds before, and that I definitely did not consider it a good thing.

Then they asked, "Well what's the big difference between being pregnant at 13 and pregnant at 16?" I told them that I didn't think there was much of a difference. And they agreed. EXCEPT I meant that 16 was also too young to have a baby. THEY meant that 16 was a perfectly acceptable and "normal" (as they called it) time to have a baby. They then went on to tell me that 13 wasn't that much different than 16, so to have a baby at 13 shouldn't be a big deal.

I hate to be that crotchety old lady, but all I can think is that "reality tv" has screwed with our heads if we (today's teenagers) think that having a baby as a teenager is "normal", "ok", or no big deal.

/vent

vilaro · January 2012

Wow. I'd never thought of it that way. Even when the shows try to "unglamourize" it, it's still on tv and making it less unusual for impressionable teens/pre-teens.

Sigh...

Kmhsswim · January 2012

Yikes! That is pretty sad.

shaindelr · January 2012

Ugh. I know all of these studies are showing that teen pregnancy has gone down since shows like "Teen Mom" have been on, but they're totally not taking into effect that it's normalizing it for even younger kids.

When I co-taught sixth grade in the Chicago Public Schools, it was semi-"normal" for 8th graders to bring their babies in to "show them off" to their 6th grade teachers, and I know here where I live, there are middle schoolers whose babies go to the daycare at the high school. I can't even imagine being mentally equipped to wrap my mind around parenthood at that age.

GHBEA · January 2012

Where I lived in Fl they had a school for girls who were pregnant and teen moms so they could graduate and have child care for the LOs.

When I took lamaze when my oldest now 20 the teacher told us there were two girls that were 11 who just became mothers. One was still sucking her thumb.

Some girls have these babies because they do think it is all glamorous. Also they think it would be fun to dress up the baby. Yet they do not put into account the financial aspect, emotional stress or what happens when the baby is premature and in the NICU. Is a 13 yr old mature enough to know how to handle this? (saw this on Oprah years ago)

So sad.

katlizabeth · January 2012

I teach 5th grade and I just had a conversation (today) with one of my boys about how he wants 4 kids by the age of 20. (This was a "goal" on his PowerPoint). The girls who were helping him were trying to tell him that was too young. He then asked me. I said...well, that means you'd have to be 15/16 when you had your first one and I felt that was too young. He also said that he wanted to be married before that, so he'd have to be married at like 15, which is not legal in WI. He then sighed, and changed his goal age to 50. We laughed. I think the final age he changed it to was 29, which I told him would probably be a better idea-but he'd still be kept busy with all those kids! He must think I'm ancient with only 2 kids at 32!

LadyXaverian · January 2012

katlizabeth:
I teach 5th grade and I just had a conversation (today) with one of my boys about how he wants 4 kids by the age of 20. (This was a "goal" on his PowerPoint). The girls who were helping him were trying to tell him that was too young. He then asked me. I said...well, that means you'd have to be 15/16 when you had your first one and I felt that was too young. He also said that he wanted to be married before that, so he'd have to be married at like 15, which is not legal in WI. He then sighed, and changed his goal age to 50. We laughed. I think the final age he changed it to was 29, which I told him would probably be a better idea-but he'd still be kept busy with all those kids! He must think I'm ancient with only 2 kids at 32!

LOL! I'm glad he found a middle-ground between 20 and 50.

ams8099 · January 2012

That is so scary! How on earth can they think its OK???

daisy889 · January 2012

That is crazy, my neice is 17 and pregnant , she became pregnant when she was 16 and is due february. She thinks its all glam and she thinks she's so cool. well acts like it anyways. Ofcourse the father is not in the picture and she is living at home - she was a runaway/house hopper. Needless to say i have been giving her baby items because her or her family cannot afford it but she doesnt care. Its sad to see not only the parents struggle but the babies are being brought into something thats broken/not right.

lylahlove · January 2012

Oh gosh that's breaks my heart. Our society is seriously screwing up our youth in so many ways

nugget0411 · January 2012

i'm sorry but where are these kids parents? i would NEVER expect my kids teacher to be having this conversation with them and the appropriate age when they should have children.

i completely agree with you and what you said about 13 and 15 being too young but i think it starts back to their parents and why they are not having this convo with them first...are you going to the parents?

this to me is CRAZY that kids have this mentality...however, i've wanted to be a mother since i was 4 and had my little brother to pack around...and whenever a baby in the family or close friends came around i would just sit and play with that baby for hours but i don't honestly think it EVER crossed my mind to have one of my own!? that would have meant sex! ewww gross! hahaha

these shows are sad that they are desensitizing kids to teen parenthood and sex being casual...just like the argument of violence in video games and violence on TV - so sad!

Holly520 · January 2012

The kid's parents were that age when they were born, at least at my school. I have 2 girls, twins, who's mom was 14 when she got pregnant. She is now 30 with 6 children.

I also have a student who is a 10th grader who has a 2 year old.

It's very sad, but for some of them it's not reality TV that is the influence. It's the reality of their lives.

Twirple · January 2012

I really hope these shows lose ratings and go off the air soon. It is so sad to see that some kids take this to be normal. When I was in Jr. High, we had to carry around a 5 lb sack of flour for 3 days as a baby. We were required to carry it between classes, to and from school, and take it with us if we went out in the evening. We also had to calculate how much babies cost, with food, diapers, clothing, car seat, crib, formula, bottles and all of the other little things. Even looking at all inexpensive stuff, I was surprised at how expensive babies were. This didn't take a hospital bill into account either.

One of the boys in the class had a Mom that was really into what they were trying to teach us. She woke him up at 1:00, 3:00 and 5:00 and had him sit up with his "baby" for 10 minutes each time, like he was getting up for a feeding. He also had to carry it around with him at home.

I'm pretty sure he made cookies with his flour baby the night we finished with the project.

lbgriffith · January 2012

Twirple:
One of the boys in the class had a Mom that was really into what they were trying to teach us. She woke him up at 1:00, 3:00 and 5:00 and had him sit up with his "baby" for 10 minutes each time, like he was getting up for a feeding. He also had to carry it around with him at home.

That's good parenting!

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