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May 2012 Moms
missbrooklyn1
member
Embarrassing vent
missbrooklyn1
member
I'm really embarrassed to admit this, and it's really making me angry, and sad but I don't have anyone offering to throw me a shower. Of my two best friends, one doesn't have kids, isn't married, and it's just not on her "radar screen." The other, is going through a lot of family crises and is overwhelmed with work, kid, life. My sister and I are really close but she lives 3,000 miles away. My mother is 4 hours away and is sort of being a flake - she offered to throw me a shower up in Massachusetts where I could probably have about 4 people in attendance - no thanks!
I have a lot of friends and family here in NYC and would probably have about 30 people to attend a shower but no one who is "that special person" to throw it. It makes me sad and feel a bit loser-ish. I could probably persuade my mother to throw one here and I'd basically do all of the heavy lifting but that seems sort of yucky to me. I guess I'll just let it go and see if something changes and if not, just be happy that my baby is healthy and leave it at that. Instead of a shower I'll throw myself a pity party!!
Thanks for listening.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Embarrassing vent
I'm in the same boat...
My mom was all about my wedding and took over the bridal shower, didn't even bother to ask if any friends would like to be involved... Then I get pregnant and it's like she doesn't care. There's been no word on a shower.
My mom told me that she was going on vacation the last week of March and that's when I finally brought it up to her. I said that I thought that week would be when I would be having a baby shower. She said that she was thinking about the shower too... Sure. The first time she mentions it and I had to bring it up.
My best friends live out of town, so I feel loser-ish too. I've been doing the pity party thing this week... I don't want to think about registering because it gets me upset about the shower.
I'm just happy to hear that I'm not the only one! Good luck, I hope it works out ideally for you... and that you don't have to do any planning for it.
Don't be embarrassed! I think the only reason anyone offered to throw me one is because they all know what a stinkin' pain in the butt I am and they're afraid I might throw a temper tantrum if they don't offer
Ideas I have...do you have a sibling or female cousin you could ask? I feel like with family it's never seen as "tacky" or what have you, to ask to do a shower or something like that. Like for example, if no one had offered I would not feel remotely bad about asking my sister to throw one. Along those same lines, one of my girlfriends asked her friend to throw her one. She was basically like, "I'd really like to have a baby shower, and I'd be really honored if you would host it for me." The friend was all too happy to do it. Also, if you're worried because it's imposing a lot of costs on someone, you can say something like, I want something simple, maybe even at someone's house or my apartment or something like that, and it doesn't have to be for lunch--it could just be for like late afternoon snacks or something, but I just really want to celebrate with all my friends and family.
FWIW, I think I'd be honored if someone asked me to throw them a baby shower. Because it means I'm a pretty good friend to be asked...no one asks an acquaintance to throw them a shower.
BFP #1 6/28/11 ~ EDD 3/7/12 ~ m/c 7/15/11 at 6w2d
BFP #2 8/29/11 ~ EDD 5/12/12. 4/25/12: Our take home baby is here!
BFP #3 8/27/13 ~ EDD 5/11/14. 4/27/14: Our second take home baby is here!
oh no I'm sorry I ment baby's daddy...maybe he can help set up the shower then leave for the day?
Oh, right. Yes, he could help. And would like to (he's pretty angry that my mother isn't taking more of an active role in this). Thanks, ladies for all of your suggestions and for those of you that are in the same boat - at least I don't feel like I'm all alone in this anymore - thanks, May mommies!
I'm sorry! But I don't think it would be yucky for you to ask your mom to host it down in NY instead of MA! You totally should! Or you should plan a meet & greet after baby is born with all your NYC friends!!
Honestly, my mom would have been all over my shower had she not passed away in 2010 so when I first got pregnant, I felt really anxious that no one was going to step up. I have aunts and we are semi-close, but I wasn't sure if they'd take the ball. I also have a childhood best friend who I've grown way apart from who lives in the area. She was my MOH and we had a HUGE falling out and didn't talk for almost a year, until my mom died, and then we slowly started to get back into the swing of things, but it's never been quite the same. My husband's cousin's wife and I are very close - they live right down the street and I helped to throw her shower so I was thinking maybe she would step up and I was right, she did - as did my childhood best friend, so they are doing it (I guess? Not sure how much progress they've made lol) and my aunts also said they want to help. But if I were you, I'd definitely ask your mom to host it. There isn't much to do to prepare, IMO. You have to pick a place in NYC then get your mom the guest list & info - she can send the invites from MA! She just has to figure out favors on her own, any games (if you even want them). If you find a restaurant, you can just pay by the person and not have to worry about having anyone prepare food, etc. Same with clean-up.
(((hugs)))