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Toddlers/kids and clothes - a question

northernvabridenorthernvabride member
in D.C. Area Babies
DD#1 is a little over 3 now and insists on picking out her clothes herself.  She went through a phase of needing all the same color everywhere and is now in a bold and bright patterns phase where she has as many patterns as possible.  She also likes wearing skirts under dresses and lots of layers.  When I drop her off at daycare I notice that all the other kids are in outfits that match and were most likely picked out by parents (unless these 3 year olds have great fashion sense).  She is the only one in her class of 16 that picks her own clothes.  So....am I not doing the right thing by letting her pick out her clothes?  Sure, I'd love to see her in the cute outfits I buy, but it is a battle, and I think it gives her some control over her life in an area that isn't detrimental generally.  I tried to pick out 2 or 3 things and then let her choose from those, but that doesn't work.  She even picks out her stuff the night before and sleeps with it in her bed.  What do others do?  Is my DD the only 3 year old who wants to pick out her own clothes? 
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Re: Toddlers/kids and clothes - a question

  • NicoNikoNicoNiko
    My daughter is only 2 1/2 and she generally still lets me pick out her clothes.  I usually get her up and carry her over to the closet and say excitedly--do you want to wear this today?!!?  Sometimes she says no and I go to the next outfit.  Many of her clothes are outfits or seperates on the hanger with other seperates so its an outfit.  She hasn't tried to mix and match too much so far.  :) 
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  • QueSrahQueSrah member
    DD doesn't really do this much yet, but when she wants to wear crazy outfits I roll with it.  It's not worth the battle.  Of course, we do battle almost daily when she doesn't want to wear ANY of the options...if she'd pick out a loony outfit that was reasonably weather-appropriate without screaming I'd be thrilled.
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  • BirdGirl01BirdGirl01

    Let her pick them out!  The only thing I would say no to is something inappropriate for the weather.  Otherwise, I'd let her explore her own fashion sense.  Why not? 

    I love this blog:  https://thegreatumbrellaheist.blogspot.com/.  Her girls are a bit older, but she has a lot of posts about the clothing battle.  Your DD is not alone - just advanced!

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  • ArtslvrArtslvr

    You could give choices of 2-3 outfits so she's not starting from a full closet of options, but other than that, I'm with you - just let her choose unless it's weather-inappropriate. 

    In our house, since I have two kids old enough to have opinions (two preschool aged girls) on weeknights I choose their outfits the night before, and lay them out in the living room for ease of access in the morning.  Now, if in the morning, they see the outfit I chose and say "but I want to wear this other shirt" I say "no problem" and let them change one or two things.  But I don't let them go down the road of changing every part of the outfit, mainly because we don't have time in the mornings.  They need to get dressed quickly to get out the door by 7:15 am.

    On weekends they can wear whatever the heck they want and that's when it gets pretty hilarious - the concoctions they come up with - I love it. 

    Wife, Musician, Fed, WW-er, and Mom of three little kids - not necessarily in that order.
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  • 2vthokies2vthokies
    imageBirdGirl01:

    Let her pick them out!  The only thing I would say no to is something inappropriate for the weather.  Otherwise, I'd let her explore her own fashion sense.  Why not? 

    This.  I pick out DD1s outfit in the morning.  I know there will ALWAYS be a negotiation.  In my mind I have a second outfit picked out or I know which pants/shirt/sweater are interchangeable with the stuff I've picked out.  Some days she negotiates the socks, some days the shirt, some days the whole outfit. If it's the whole outfit then I let her wear what she wants. Regardless of what she utimately wears it has to be weather appropriate.  She also gets to decide, every day, what she wants to do with her hair (french braid, double french braid, pony tail, half pony tail, double pony tail, barrettes only, bangs only ponytail, head band...the list goes on and on...).

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  • smacbsmacb
    My son generally doesn't care.  When he has an opinion (specific shirt, socks, underwear)  I go with it. 
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  • Hey JellisyHey Jellisy
    DD, almost 3, has strong opinions on occasion.  Usually for something sparkly, pink and with animals/hearts/or rainbows on it.  As with the PPs, as long as it is weather appropriate, I don't care.  She always wants to wear her tutu to school, but that I say no to.  It rips really easily. 
    image
    From December 29, 2011
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  • WinesNotWhinesWinesNotWhines
    My kid is younger and doesn't care yet (except that he never wants to wear socks), but as long as she wants to wear something weather-appropriate, I think I'd let her choose. In the grand scheme of things, it's not a big deal.

    Take photos so you can embarass her later. :)
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  • victoria1212victoria1212 member

    DD has strong opinions everyday about every article of clothing on her body so I am going with the I don't care approach because it is the only way we get out of the house. Seriously, some of the outfits are not season appropriate and are horrendous but really it keeps me sane. When they are not season appropriate I do insist on leggings, a coat and socks (because socks under sandals are one of our favorite looks).

    For example, this morning- we had on baby legs that are brown and pink argyle, a red dora Christmas t-shirt, a black skirt with red roses, pink ugg boots, a hat that looks like a tiger, mismatched socks, a tutu (that looks like something out of toddlers and tiaras) over the skirt with a pink fleece jacket that has lollipops all over it. It was awesome. 

    I always throw a matching outfit into the bag for DC and sometimes she actually comes home with it on.

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  • hokies94hokies94 member

    My middle daughter is the child you look at and say "well she must have dressed herself".  She started picking out her clothes around that age.  She has come up with some really interesting outfits.  Snow boots over leopard print leggins with striped shirts come to mind.  After initially battling with her over it, I've learned to let it go.  I got to a point where I didn't care what she wore as long as it was weather appropriate.  She was and still is  a hot mess some days and I just have to let it go.  She will never be that matched, perfectly put together child and I'm ok with that.  

    She's still this way at 7 but I can at least try to convince her to wear only one pattern a day (not always but most days).   

    I do take pictures of her more outrageous outfits so I can remind her of this when she's a teenager!   

    Now if I could just get her to brush her hair on a daily basis! 

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  • SofkaSofka

    my DD loves dresses and skirts but I don't let her wear those to DC b/c I am afraid they'll end up in the toilet when she sits down. I lay out all her clothes the night before and she picks out her underwear.

    I think it's fine to let her pick out her clothes, as it shows she has her own creativity!

     

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  • Hey JellisyHey Jellisy
    imagevictoria1212:

    DD has strong opinions everyday about every article of clothing on her body so I am going with the I don't care approach because it is the only way we get out of the house. Seriously, some of the outfits are not season appropriate and are horrendous but really it keeps me sane. When they are not season appropriate I do insist on leggings, a coat and socks (because socks under sandals are one of our favorite looks).

    For example, this morning- we had on baby legs that are brown and pink argyle, a red dora Christmas t-shirt, a black skirt with red roses, pink ugg boots, a hat that looks like a tiger, mismatched socks, a tutu (that looks like something out of toddlers and tiaras) over the skirt with a pink fleece jacket that has lollipops all over it. It was awesome. 

    I always throw a matching outfit into the bag for DC and sometimes she actually comes home with it on.

    You really need to do a blog 365 project with a daily photo of your DDs outfits...

    image
    From December 29, 2011
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  • northernvabridenorthernvabride member
    We should get all our crazy dressers together for a group photo, I have some pretty funny images in my head of all these crazy outfits.  I do make sure it is either weather-appropriate, or that we can add leggings or a sweater to make it so.  I really don't mind but I was really paranoid since out of 16 kids, she is the only one who looks like they pick their own clothes. 
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  • amh_navyblueamh_navyblue
    I'm with the pps--unless it's not weather-appropriate, it's not a battle worth fighting...and besides, it can be entertaining:)  My 5 y.o. often picks out wacky options...and even my almost 2 y.o. decides to have an opinion some days, like when she refuses to take off her pj top...I figure that when they are adults, they'll have to conform to some sort of "appropriate" approach to clothing...but why impose that now? Big Smile
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  • victoria1212victoria1212 member
    imageHey Jellisy:

    You really need to do a blog 365 project with a daily photo of your DDs outfits...

    I am not sure I want photo evidence of some of them! I have posted some highlights on FB. However, most of my photos now highlight her creative outfits. 

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  • VARedheadVARedhead

    imagenorthernvabride:
    She even picks out her stuff the night before and sleeps with it in her bed. 

    This is hilarious.

    I have no advice for you - DD will sometimes veto the first outfit I pick, but will generally accept the second.

    imageLilypie Second Birthday tickers Lilypie Pregnancy tickers"
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  • bh2720bh2720

    man, I'm glad for boys! Warner barely notices that he is even wearing clothes. The only thing he really expresses an opinion about is which winter hat he wants to wear. we have a bunch of crazy ones that our neighbor gave us and he likes to look through the box and pick one out (even though he usually chooses the same one). 

    but I really can't see the harm in letting her pick out what she wants to wear as long as she's seasonally appropriate. at this age looking crazy is still adorable :-) 

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  • AgrippaRidesAgainAgrippaRidesAgain member

    DS has been picking out his clothes since he was 18 months old.  Yesterday he went to school in a pair of skinny jean style corduroys (a gift from my mom) and a giant striped shirt.  The end result looked like a tunic and leggings.

    You should see the giant debate about picking out clothes that's going on on the SAHM board right now:

     https://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/62116362.aspx

    image
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