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Pre-School and Daycare
bithy75
member
Birthday Parties
bithy75
member
Hello all,
My son will turn 3 in the beginning of February, and I'd like to get some advice or hear about your experiences with birthday parties at this age.
1. We are getting a lot of invitations from daycare friends to attend birthday parties at places like The Little Gym, Gymboree, etc. These are big parties with almost all the kids in my son's class. It's really nice to be invited to all these parties, but we can't possibly go to all of them. It's going to get really expensive buying so many birthday presents, and we won't have much time to do other things we need to do on the weekends. Is it necessary to go to all them?
2. Now that I see so many other kids having these parties, I'm starting to wonder if my son should have one too. I started researching prices, and it's just not in our budget right now - $200-$300!!! I feel kind of bad not having the same kind party for my son. Should I be worried about this? We'll have our own family celebration that I'm sure will be very special for him.
Thanks for any advice!
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Re: Birthday Parties
We are finding that as well now that DS is in preschool (in fact, there are two from his class this weekend we cannot attend). But my DS doesn't seem to get that these type of parties are the "in" thing and he is just super excited about his upcoming smaller, at-home 4th birthday party (this weekend as well). IMHO at this age, they are still young enough that we can get away with whatever type of party we deem most appropriate. I am not ready for a big venue party and just don't think it's necessary for at least another year (and hopefully a few). We have lovely small dinner parties at home with friends, family, and neighbors and it's been great for us.
And honestly, the venue parties are so generic--go to one and it's virtually indistinguishable from the rest. We have been to a few recently and they all blend together. I don't feel there is anything personal about them, whereas at home I can personalize the decorations, food, theme to DS's taste. This year we are doing an airplane theme and I'm decking out the house to make it look like an airport/airplane. Can't do that at a venue. And he's so excited!
This is my opinion, but I think the venue parties can wait. Especially at 3 or 4, I just don't think the LO understands or cares that much. It's about family time and making it special for the child.
Of course it's not necessary to go to all of them. Our approach was a bit different though. I wanted to get to know the kids in my child's class and wanted to get to know the other parents as well so I made an effort to attend as many as possible.
As for gifts? I stock up. When I see toys on clearance I buy several and stick them in the "gift" closet. At this age kids really don't care how expensive a gift is. You don't have to go all out. Target has it's own line of toys that run $15 and I can usually find something there in a pinch.
No - you don't have to do a big huge party for your son. A heads up though that by 4 they really "get" parties and get excited for their own so I'd try to budget for a friends party at that point. The good news is that by then you'll be able to identify who his "besties" are so you can easily do an "at home" party that's really more of a play date with cake for a smaller number of kids - much more affordable and probably a bit more special to your son!
No right or wrong here. Do what works for you and don't sweat the rest!
Total score: 6 pregnancies, 5 losses, 2 amazing blessings that I'm thankful for every single day.
This almost exactly!
We are having DD's party at a generic venue because that is what she wants. She has been asking for a party there for at least 6 months. It's her birthday, so we are letting her have the party she would like.
I think you do have to do a party. Ask him. Do you want a party with just grandma, grandpa etc. or do you want a party with your family and two or three friends from school? Something like that. But at 3, it is a big deal to have a party and part of the anticipation is the fun of it. You can go really cheap by having it at your home or a park and getting pizzas. Honestly, you could do it for less than $100.
As for presents, I buy clearance items throughout the year and have a gift stash. I spend about $10-15 per present.
We don't attend every party we get invited to but we do make an effort for the parties that are his best buddies from preschool.
I think the kids parties are fun and I enjoy seeing DD and her friends play together and enjoy spending time w/ the parents and building those friendships too. We just went through a round of 3 yo parties - DD's was the last in December. She almost broke her neck running to the front door when her BFF from school got to our house. She was soooo excited to have everyone over. (I was exhausted, but really, the kids had a blast!)
In anticipation of the parties, I bought a bunch of $15 neutral games/puzzles/books over the summer and just gave them as gifts. I also re-gifted a few duplicates from last Christmas. I probably spent ~100 on gifts, but I bought a new card for each birthday - I won't do that again - they are like 3/each. We had DD's party at home, the food wasn't too expensive - 200 - for a CFA tray, plus cakes, sodas and snacks from the grocery store; I spent 100 on favors which was silly and I'll budget better in the future.
I have three kids, and cannot afford to have three big parties a year! But, I have really lucked out. My oldest has only wanted at the most 5 friends over for his party, so last year we had a monster truck theme and the kids loved it! I made a monster truck cake & they painted and put stickers on these awesome trucks and each kid got to take one home after they raced them. They also made their own pizza.
This year he will be 6 and we will probably let him invite 4 friends to a hockey game. He will love this!
While, with my younger two son's we have mostly done family oriented parties. But they are just happy to celebrate their birthday's. Once they have their own friends they can pick a few buddies to celebrate with ; )
While we really enjoy going to our friends parties, it is just not in our budget to hold a party like that.
1. Heck no. I so far have only gone to ones where I know DD plays with the birthday boy/girl. I'll probably expand that within reason as she gets older but like you, I can't subsidize every toy box in the class.
2. No. Do what you can do. FWIW, we have had parties at home for the past 2 years (granted with entertainment) but what the kids liked best was just running around and playing with DD's toys. You don't have to do much at that age. DD only had 3 or 4 friends over for her 3rd.
ETA: and ditto howleyshel on the toy closet. I stock up on the clearance items so always have some "go to" items that I can use. For example, I stocked up when Melissa & Doug and Calico Critter stuff went 50% off before Christmas. Watch Target and Wal-Mart as there should be a toy clearance soon and there is always a toy clearance in March and I think in July or August. Anything left over, I can either save for nieces and nephews or donate without a second thought.
DD -- 5YO
DS -- 3YO
We go the ones we can and don't feel bad about skipping the ones we can't. We go to most of them, but skipped one because my parents were in town for the holidays. I wanted DD1 to spend time with them instead because they live OOT.
We just had DD1's party yesterday. Yeah, that's about the price range of the party places I looked at. We had ours at a small, local children's museum and it cost less than $100 for the admission/party room, plus about another $100 on food, drinks and favors. Pretty reasonable, and a very fun place for the preschool crowd. We had seven kids total, out of 19 invited, plus their parents. It was just the right size, and another huge plus was that we didn't have to decorate or provide games/activities.
We considered having it at our house, but since DD1's birthday is right after the holidays, I just didn't feel up to doing it at home. Other low-cost places to look are local parks & rec departments.
DD1's party was fun, but it also cemented my intention to not have a party for her class every year. This is the first non-family party that we've done. We'll do them every few years. The day of her birthday, DH took the day off and we spent it doing fun things that she likes, then ended the day with cake and presents. Most years, that's what her birthday will look like. Both DH and I are fine with that.
DD1, 1/5/2008 ~~~ DD2, 3/17/2010
ditto this!