Musing: When kid #'s 2 and 3 are your two under two...

Re: Musing: When kid #'s 2 and 3 are your two under two...

• BabyHatch

  January 2012

  You're not and he'll be fine.  You're a full-time working mother of three. You're not lame, you're busy! I think its easy (especially around DC) to compare yourself to what others are doing and feel the guilt for not going above and beyond all the time. I only have one kid and I constantly feel like I'm not doing enough. I can only imagine the challenges involved with three but if I had to guess, I'm pretty sure your kids are growing up safe, loved, and nurtured. #Winning.

   

  

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• NicoNiko

  January 2012

  As the third of three kids myself, I say he will be fine! 

   Heck, I only have 2 and often find myself thinking "poor DS." 

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• bh2720

  January 2012

  I'm the third of three girls and my mom said that I was practically unlovable until I turned 3 years old, LOL. I slept horrible, never napped and threw terrible tantrums. She said that when I turned 3 years old, it was like someone flipped a switch and all of a sudden I became agreeable and nice (until around age 13!). 

  I always tell her that I was probably like that because I was just trying to get attention and about the time I turned 3, my older sister started kindergarten, so I finally had my mom all to myself. My theory is that I was an attention whore even way back then!

  And amongst me and my 2 sisters, I am definitely the most "normal"...(I might be a bit biased, bwahaha). But I don't remember ever feeling like I was being shafted for being the youngest. I did get a LOT of hand-me-downs (which probably won't be an issue for your DS), but most of the time I thought that was neat. 

  Don't beat yourself up, I'm sure you're being a great mom to your son!! 

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• WinesNotWhines

  January 2012

  I think sometimes second (and third, etc.) kids end up being more laid-back and independent than first-borns, and this is a GOOD thing. It's good for kids to know that the world doesn't revolve around them.

  

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• JKM416 member

  January 2012

  I bet the fact that he's the only boy will work in his favor in a few years because he'll be involved in some other activities and interests than your girls are, so he can feel special in that he'll be the first to do some things after all.  And I agree that second, third, etc. children are often pretty self-sufficient from a younger age than first-borns, mainly because we know what they're capable of from having gone through it once already (that is, as long as the parents aren't assigning them the "baby of the family" role and treating them as such).

  I feel bad that my DS2 will be following so closely in the footsteps of DS1, who himself has the dreaded "middle child" role.  But we surely put more pressure and expectations on ourselves than our kids ever will.  We would probably have to actively *try* to screw them up in order for them to turn out badly    I figure there are some things I'm going to do that my kids will treasure, some they'll want to bill me for therapy over, and the majority of stuff will fall somewhere in the middle.  As long as they have healthy sibling relationships and don't hold any grudges or resentments against each other because of something I did, then I'll be happy

  
  
  

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• Artslvr

  January 2012

  JKM416:

  But we surely put more pressure and expectations on ourselves than our kids ever will. ...

  ...I figure there are some things I'm going to do that my kids will treasure, some they'll want to bill me for therapy over, and the majority of stuff will fall somewhere in the middle. 

  If I knew how to put a heart symbol here I would - well said!

  Wife, Musician, Fed, WW-er, and Mom of three little kids - not necessarily in that order.

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