To have a doula, or to not have a doula

Beth1031 · January 2012

I have been reading about doula's and am interested in possibly having one help me with my labor.... I want to try to have as natural a birth as possible and do not want to have an epidural. This is both mine and DH first child. My MIL kind of made fun of me and told me that they were useless when I mentioned that DH and I were considering looking into it. Have any of you used a doula? Pros/cons, any experiences you could share? Thanks!

cbee817 · January 2012

I don't have experience with a doula, but I will say that it helps to have more than 1 person with you in the room. My mom and DH were with me- they were the best people I could think of to share labor (5 hours)/pushing (30 minutes)/birth with and I hope that my mom will be there for LO#2.

I didn't use any pain meds- just relied on them to help me and get out of my face when I needed them to. I recommend a birthing ball if you are having back labor- it saved me from completely losing my mind! GL with your decision.

Alauren4 · January 2012

My sister had a doula and she had an all natural birth. I think it varys I mean if it is something you really want call and talk to one and see how they make you feel. Normally our gut feelings will tell us the right thing to do...

EMOmamma · January 2012

Your MIL didn't give birth in the same era that you will. Unless she works in L&D her knowledge of current L&D practices means nothing.

If you want a med-free birth, a doula is an invaluable resource. If you're delivering in a hospital your OB or MW won't be in there often, they tend to just check on you every now and then. Even the nurses don't stay with you and they aren't really there to help you they just check you and give you meds. They have multiple patients and you're not their main focus. (there are some great nurses but you never know what you're going to get)

With a Doula she would be with you the whole time, helping you and your husband. They will advocate* for your wants and needs, they know what the hospital policies are and can guide you to what is necessary and what isn't.

I didn't have one for my first and really regret it. Things didn't go well, I hated my day nurse, my doctor was too busy. I am getting one for this birth.

Sorry, didn't mean for that to be a rant. Check out the NB board - this gets asked a lot so you should find some good answers.

*edit to clarify - they do not have the right to tell the doctor or nurses what you want but they will help you understand so you can ask for what you want

TheShrubber · January 2012

Emo said it right. I didn't have one 1st time around but I will have one for this one, no doubt.

doxgirl · January 2012

EMO-mamma:

Your MIL didn't give birth in the same era that you will. Unless she works in L&D her knowledge of current L&D practices means nothing.

If you want a med-free birth, a doula is an invaluable resource. If you're delivering in a hospital your OB or MW won't be in there often, they tend to just check on you every now and then. Even the nurses don't stay with you and they aren't really there to help you they just check you and give you meds. They have multiple patients and you're not their main focus. (there are some great nurses but you never know what you're going to get)

With a Doula she would be with you the whole time, helping you and your husband. They will advocate for your wants and needs, they know what the hospital policies are and can guide you to what is necessary and what isn't.

This. I had a doula with my first and will have the same doula with this delivery.

StokedWifey · January 2012

How do you go about finding a doula? May be a stupid newbie question, but it's not something I've ever looked in to.

emiliemetcalf · January 2012

Literally the first thing out of my husband's mouth after our BFP was "do you think Julie (our doula) is free?" I thought she was a big help to me with our first, but he loved having her there even more than I did. (I labored for a long time and had a somewhat complicated, albeit mostly natural, delivery.)

tbmadeamistake · January 2012

We most likely will be using one. I just interviewed a woman that I feel super comfortable with and her rates are realllllly decent. I like the idea of having someone besides DH who can support me and be more educated than DH on natural pain management. Make sure you interview a couple and find one that you can really be comfortable with, after all, she'll be seeing you in all your glory! Also, she cannot and should not be your advocate with the doctors. As a non-relation, she is legally not allowed to tell the doctor what you want/don't want. She can, however, supply you with ideas and vocabulary so that you can advocate for yourself. I'm hoping to use mine so that I can do most of my laboring at home, there by reducing the time spent at the hospital and the chances of interventions that I don't really need.

GL!

EMOmamma · January 2012

Lilygrace48:

Also, she cannot and should not be your advocate with the doctors. As a non-relation, she is legally not allowed to tell the doctor what you want/don't want.

You're right Smile - I just edited my post to clarify. I know what I meant but it didn't come out quite right.

PunkRockPrincess1313 · January 2012

I have one...I love her.

She is a resource like no other. She is there for me all the time....she will come to my home when my labor starts and help me through all of it. My guy and her have their own bond as well....someone he can look to for help when all seems lost with me.

My girl is all about all types of birth...because she knows that what we plan does not always happen...so she is just there to support me in any path my labor takes. I am hoping for a natural birth with no medication...but we are working on preperation for no matter what kinda thing happens ^_^

doxgirl · January 2012

StokedWifey:
How do you go about finding a doula? May be a stupid newbie question, but it's not something I've ever looked in to.

dona.org is a good place to start

davisas2323 · January 2012

Yes to dona.org and yes to having a doula. A local group of them holds an informative tea every month where you can hear about the group's services and interview all of the doulas. I did this and found the perfect one. I actually went really early (7 weeks) to make sure I was able to choose and actually get one for my birth in May. I don't think it's a rat race like daycare, I just wasn't sure and was really excited to learn more.

anne14marie · January 2012

i had a doula with my first and she was great. i didn't have a natural birth but it was just nice to have someone there with experience and general know how for this first birth. this time we won't have one but i had a great experience with mine.

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To have a doula, or to not have a doula

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