Scared to birth in a hospital and freaking out

Re: Scared to birth in a hospital and freaking out

• funkymonkeyohyeahhh member

  January 2012

  Try reading "Natural Hospital Birth". Perhaps try posting on your local board asking for feedback on the hospital you're planning to deliver at, or talk to local moms some other way? Also, there are several ladies on this board that had successful natural births in a hospital that will hopefully chime in with their encouragement.

  I was scared of the same things you are at the beginning of my pregnancy, but I am starting to really envision a successful hospital birth. I have hired a doula and she has been wonderful at easing my mind. She has attended numerous births at my hospital and with my OB and ensured me it's very doable. I've also really enjoyed reading "Birthing From Within" and it's made me feel better about being able to create a comfortable environment for myself within a hospital.

  GL!
  

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• sschwege member

  January 2012

  I had a wonderful experience delivering at a hospital with a CNM, so it is possible  I agree with pp about asking your local boards for more information about potential hospitals.  

  A doula is definitely a good idea.  Even if you have a wonderful, fully supportive CNM she will have other patients and if it's busy you might not see much of her.  I was in the hospital for 7 hours before DD was born and I saw her three times (when I was admitted, once when I asked to be checked and finally when I started pushing).  

  I think the important thing will be research, educating yourself so it makes it that much harder to be pushed around.  The other key factor will be laboring at home as long as possible.  If you arrive close to the end they are far more likely let everything unfold as it should.   

  Keep asking questions!  And best of luck on your journey! 

  
  
  
  
  
  My Ovulation Chart

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• flyer23 member

  January 2012

  Whoa. RELAX.

  How do you stop worrying... well, where did all your worry come from in the first place? Is it based on the reputation of the CNM and/or hospital that she delivers at? Or is it based on generic "stuff" you've read about hospital birth?

  If it's the former, well, I'd take that to heart, and look into other CNM and/or hospital options, if you have them.

  If it's the latter... hospital birth doesn't have to be what's portrayed in Business of Being Born and literature from natural-birth advocates. Not every hospital tries to stick you with your Pitocin drip and epidural while you're still in the parking lot. I had a wonderful hospital birth experience with DD, with -- gasp! -- an OB. I chose homebirth with DS and with this one, but that's because there were specific things that were drawing me towards homebirth, NOT because I was scared of hospital birth. There is a big difference.

  You're doing exactly the right thing. You're researching. You're asking questions. You're starting early. There is no need to freak out! It kinda seems like you're going into your CNM interview with the attitude of "how much is this gonna suck," and that's not really the right attitude to have.

  On the doula question, I don't think a doula is ever a "necessity." That said, I do think a doula can be tremendously helpful for any birth (I even have had/will have one with both of my homebirths), and for a hospital birth in particular, regardless of OB vs. midwife.

  Mommy to DD1 (June 2007), DS (January 2010), DD2 (July 2012), and The Next One (EDD 3/31/2015)

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• Lina1030

  January 2012

  I had an amazing birth at a hospital....with supportive staff and OB of course. My OB is AMAZING! He really is 150% supportive....of either way you choose to go, med free or with meds. Amazing care at this hospital...honest and loving.  Look up a few post that I shared about hypnobirthing mama's to be inspired...another mama birthed a beautiful big baby in the hospital and had a great experience. Don't worry.....
  

  Natalia
  
  Konstantino
  
  Maximo
  
  
  
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• Tigerlilym15 member

  January 2012

  To repeat a pp, RELAX! Not all doctors, CNM's, and hospitals are intervention happy. A lot of natural birth literature demonizes hospitals and interventions. If you have done your research you shouldn't be afraid of anyone forcing unnecessary procedures on you. A good provider will explain the reasoning behind any intervention and they won't do anything without your consent. I had a completely med free birth in a hospital with a CNM and had a great experience. They followed my birth plan and respected all my choices.

  That being said, I was offered medication once (I said no, they did not push me) and a doctor was brought in to check me and discuss c-section (it is their policy when you have been pushing for 3 hours). They told me it was up to me if I wanted to keep pushing or have a c-section at that point. Because there was no medical reason for CS, I opted to keep pushing and all of the staff was fine with and even supportive of that choice.

  Try to keep an open mind. Some interventions ARE medically necessary and are important for you or the baby's health. While I agree that interventions are over done, much of that is because of patient choice and not because providers are pushing for unnecessary procedures. For example, induction rates are so high in large part because patients ASK to be induced, not because doctors are pushing for medically unnecessary inductions. It was hard for me to keep an open mind when I was faced with complications during pregnancy. What helped me the most was having a provider that I trusted and that was willing to discuss all options and answer all of my questions.

  Whatever you decide, I think it is most important to find a provider that you trust and are comfortable with. That way if complications do arise and they recommend an intervention you will know that it is necessary and understand why it is happening instead of feeling forced into something you don't want or need.
  

  
  
  
  

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• nosoup4u member

  January 2012

  Get a doula. And if you're that worried about being in a hospital, then home birth is probably a better idea.

  This is a good post about questions to ask when choosing a provider: https://birthsen.tmdhosting930.com/?p=769

  Re: not trusting your provider, that's why you make sure you have advocates with you in case it happens, i.e. hiring a doula. We hired a doula both times I was pregnant, and they definitely helped us navigate the hospitals and procedures. There were a few points where the doula reminded me or my DH that we wanted a certain thing, which we then requested and it got fixed/done.

  But try to relax. I'm definitely suspicious of hospitals and the current c-section rate, etc. etc., but most of the time, the woman can ask for/is given time to make decisions about her care (though that is more likely to happen if she has people with her who can help/ask questions themselves). hth
  

   

  DS1 - Feb 2008

  DS2 - Oct 2010 (my VBAC baby!)

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• Aurora_Borealis member

  January 2012

  nosoup4u:

  I'm definitely suspicious of hospitals and the current c-section rate, etc. etc., but most of the time, the woman can ask for/is given time to make decisions about her care (though that is more likely to happen if she has people with her who can help/ask questions themselves). hth

  Yes. My awesome childbirth instructor told us to remember these key questions when feeling pressured about interventions in the hospital:

  -Is that medically necessary?

  -Can I think about it and let you know in an hour?

  -Is my baby (or am I) safe/healthy right now if I decide against that?
  

  

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