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Horrible preconception appt - need new OB, any suggestions?
First a little rant before my actual Q: 
Hubby & I have been TTC our first for about a month now and on Tuesday had our preconception appt with my OB/GYN. This is something I was anxiously waiting for and came prepared with lots of questions...until it started to go horribly wrong.
My doc was rude & short with us the entire time. He told me that I over-medicate myself because I take supplements like fish oil, D, etc. (even though my endocrinologist told me to take them), said I was going to drive myself insane by reading things online about TTC, pregnancy, etc. He wouldn't answer any questions I had about exercising while pregnant because I'm still only TTC. When we inquired about genetic testing and when will we know if the baby is developing normally he went on a rampage about how his 6 year old grandson was born with a club foot and virtually no genitals and how he's loved anyways. He also said I should have been in his office 2 mos ago to get tested for chicken pox & rubella vaccinations and how we need to wait 2 mos now if the blood work comes back that I need them.
Towards the end of our appt I inquired if I would only be seeing him the entire time during pregnancy or one of his partners and he FINALLY told me that he no longer does OB, just GYN and I'd need to see someone else in his practice. WHEW!! :-)
Oh and when I found this out he also went on another rant about midwives and how they are no different than OBs, it's just perception. Then he attacked me for thinking I could actually do a natural birth w/o drugs since I have no idea what I'm in for.
Needless to say, I want OUT of his practice altogether. I never want to see this crazy man every again...which leads me to my Q.
How many of you interviewed OBs before deciding on one (like is this a standard practive?) and can you give me any recommendations for an OB? We live in Potomac, I work in Rockville, hubby is in Bethesda and I'd like to find a practice in that general area.
I'm also thinking I'll want to deliver at Shady Grove unless there are any recommendations for better hospitals?
THANK YOU ALL!!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Horrible preconception appt - need new OB, any suggestions?
Yiiiikes. That guy sounds like an a-hole. You were asking some perfectly valid questions and not getting valid answers (or even very respectful responses). Good for you for looking elsewhere.
If you're interested in a natural delivery (which you can totally do! I did it!) and you want to deliver at Shady Grove, you should check out Midwifery Care Associates. They have offices at White Flint Mall and they deliver at SG. There are a few people on this board who've delivered with them and had good experiences (DCtoLow?).
TTC #2: BFP 12/17/11, m/c 1/7/12 and D&C 1/12/12
baby blog/cooking blog
wait, you've been TTC for a month? that's really nothing, you need to give it at least 6 months-1year before you start worrying. I agree with your OB that you need to stop reading so much about TTCing and pregnancy, you can drive yourself crazy with worry and stress so much you won't be able to conceive. Read the book Taking Charge of Your Fertility, start charting (I used to my fertilityfriend.com but it's been years so I don't know if it's even up still) and just enjoy making love to your husband. It may happen right away or it may take many months, don't stress about what you can and can't do while pregnant, what tests you can get done while pregnant, until you are actually pregnant. Good luck TTCing, have fun!!
I am not in MD so I don't have any recs but there are a lot of good OBs out there and you should be able to find someone you click with.
ETA: I was with my OBGYN practice for years before I got pregnant and I just stayed with them, never interviewed anyone (until I was pregnand and then I interviewed pediatricians).
the only difference between a MW and an OB is perception? seriously??????? forget the GIGANTIC difference in the two respective models of care, that OBs are trained in pregnancies and births with risks and MWs are trained in normal birth care. eeeek. run, yes run far far away from this person!!
so glad for you that you had this experience before becoming pregnant and didn't have pregnancy hormones to add to an already awful experience.
i have no personal experience with the above mentioned midwifery practice, but have also heard positive stories there.
if you ever consider a homebirth, i have several recommendations for excellent, qualified, educated, skilled and licensed homebirth midwives.
good luck TTC!
i didn't read that she was stressing about anything, rather, taking a proactive approach to her fertility by scheduling a preconception appointment. i did the same and i recommend to my clients that they also have such an appointment. waiting until you are already pregnant means you miss out on the first two months of your child's gestation when you could be doing/not doing significant things, if only you knew. also, it's important to select the right caregiver upfront, before you are pregnant, so you don't have experiences like these when you actually are pregnant and need that caregiver to give you quality service.
Wow. I agree - preconception appointments are about weeding out responses like you got. I get that it's hard out there for an OB - most are good, caring providers - but the most important qualification for a clinician IMO is listening to their patients.
I delivered DS1 with MCA and I'm planning to deliver DS2 with them and would recommend them. Their offices are in White Flint. They are co-located with an OB practice; I've met a couple of the docs and have also been pleased with them.
My guess is that that OB has seen plenty of women get neurotic and stressed (not saying you are) over insignificant things or things that, in the big picture, aren't important. So he comes with a perspective of experience and gets exasperated when women (usually legitimately) ask questions and have concerns over things he's seen turn out perfectly fine over many years of practising. That said, what a lousy bedside manner. I somewhat agree about "you don't know what you're in for" regarding a med-free labor, just because it's impossible to imagine or truly understand unless you've been through it. But that's no reason not to try for one...don't we all attempt things we've never done before all the time? And women have them all the time, both now and, hello, since the beginning of time. What a patronizing, discouraging thing for that OB to say. I went so far as to switch my health insurance for Baby #3 just so I didn't have to go to the place required of me (that I had used for #2), so I fully support the importance of finding a good match in an OB or midwife.
Another vote for MCA. I went with them because (1) I wanted midwives, and they came recommended through this board, and (2) I wanted to deliver at Shady Grove with its option of laboring in a tub or shower. I liked their "we assume everything's going fine unless we determine otherwise" approach and how they trusted my instincts and such (which may have partly been due to it being my third baby). I never felt my questions were dismissed or stupid. And I had a med-free birth at Shady Grove (which was also great) in November.
29 weeks of bedrest & Cerclage at 14 weeks.
Yikes - I'm sorry you had such a bad appointment.
I also used Midwifery Care Associates - off the recs of this board and was thinking I'd like to try and go natural but was open to pain meds if I felt I wanted them. MCA was so supportive of this and I felt like at every appointment DH was welcome and talked to as much as I was, and that it was always a joint discussion about what was going on. I ended up going natural, which I completely credit to my midwives since I pretty much came into the hospital asking for meds - it's amazing how a few contractions can change your mind, lol.
I had been going to a typical OB/GYN that I liked prior to TTC, but when I got PG and misccaried early (around 6/7 weeks) I didn't like that they treated it as so routine. Like PP said, I'm sure they see it all the time, but it was all new to me and I wish they took a minute to think about that.
I loved that at MCA I always felt listened to and an active partner in my entire pregnancy and labor (and DH too!)
GL!
Thank you all for your input!
I'm really not a stressed out person and I certainly wasn't behaving like one during the appointment, we really just wanted thorough information since I know that the next time I'll be in for an appt will be when we're weeks into the pregnancy. It's almost like he wasn't taking us seriously for some reason. Oh well.
I'm definitely going to look into MCA and they also have an orientation on the 17th which is great timing. I think I'm still going to look at some more OBs too. I found a Dr. Mark Seigel on Old Georgetown Rd. He's got some awesome reviews on other websites and he's been on Washingtonian's Top Doc list for the past 10 years...although I may take that with a grain of salt considering my original doc has been on that list too....
Sorry you had a bad experience. keep trying! Good luck finding a good OB or MW, whatever you choose, keep in mind you need someone who is experienced in case a problem arises. I still have to make a final decision on OB, (I have seen a few doctors in a group). I'd like to go with the one who is nicer etc, but I'm also thinking on who will have the best medical skills even surgical skills if the need arises. I hope to find all in one as it is important to "click" with the person as well.