Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: do you ever get jealous of pregnant women?
I've never been a jealous person but I'm highly jealous of the month board bumpies that have these beautiful big stomachs. There is nothing that I ever wanted more in my life to but to be big and pregnant and I didn't get to experience that. This high amount of jealousy is something that I've never experienced and I'm sometimes at a loss of what to do. It's almost anger.
I'm also jealous of the young girl across from Walker in the NICU. Her baby is fine, just came early. Off all medicines and machines and on full feeds (of donor breastmilk because, God forbid, letting pumping ruin her day). She's aggravating. She peeks in on her baby and then leaves. Only spends like 10 minutes and is clearly dressed to go out. Walker's primary had to say something to her last time.
I could go on and on about this girl.
Absolutely. My pregnancy was nothing but normal. I dislike that it's one of the reasons why I want to have another baby in the future. Even though I had a big ol' full term looking pregnant bump before I delivered (because of twins and excess amniotic fluid), it still sucked that I didn't get to experience much of a 3rd trimester and nearly half of my 2nd trimester was spent on bed rest.
Peanut Butter and Jelly!
<a href="http://s568.photobucket.com/albums/ss122/AliceNP/?action=view
Yes. I do. I want to know what it is like to have a normal stress free pg. Which, I have never had. I m/c our 1st at 10 weeks. Then our other 3 were all preemie. So never once have I had a pg where I'm not worried about something. I mean I don't want them to have to know what it feels like to go through what I have but they just don't know how lucky they are.
This. Very jealous of people who have full-term pregnancies, and I worry that my desire for a second baby is colored by my desire for a full-term baby.
Right now I am torn between being jealous that I didn't get to "finish" my pregnancy and being thankful I have a 5 week old instead of just now having a newborn. Such weird emotions.
This too. But I don't want to think about what I would feel if I end up having another preemie. I hate to admit it but I wonder what my feelings would be like if my "do-over" didn't go as planned and frankly I hate how I use the word "do-over" in my head. There are a lot of emotions that need to be sorted out before I travel done that road. But at this point in time I hate to think it but I think we're one and done because I just don't want to risk anything.
I hate how I had a small belly even for Owen's gestational age, and that was the whole problem. And I hate how people at work before Owen was born were are like "you look so good. Small belly." And when I visited a while ago they brought it up again. I know they have no idea who Owen came early (I don't really talk to those people), and I think they were just trying to be nice but it STINKS.
At work one of my colleague's wife had a baby two days after Owen (about a week late), and I HATE hearing about how she is doing this and that. I want to be happy for them but it bites when people ask me if Owen is doing such and such...
and I digress to vent...
BPF May 12, 2013 :: EDD Janaury 22, 2013 :: MC Began On July 14, 2013 at 12W4D
Born at 34w2d:
BPF May 12, 2013 :: EDD Janaury 22, 2013 :: MC Began On July 14, 2013 at 12W4D
Born at 34w2d:
Yes. My cousin and my good friend are both pregnant right now and while I'm happy for them I'm also jealous. I wanted a vaginal birth and had an emergency C instead. They still have the possibility of things going how they want them to. It's clearly too late for me.
My biggest issue now is breastfeeding. I had a few serious infections post section and was on tons of I.V. and oral antibiotics. Even pumping every two hours around the clock (to dump because there weren't safe antibiotics for the specific infections I had) I was only getting half an ounce a day, and after two weeks of that my milk completely dried up. I wasn't able to attempt breastfeeding in the hospital and the day Violet came home I was admitted.
I wanted so much to breastfeed her and wasn't able to. I'm pretty bitter about it, but I don't want to be. She's healthy and beautiful and it bothers me that the whole situation still gets to me. I'm bothered about being bothered I guess
. You aren't alone, OP. I think it's getting better with time.
DD1: November 2011
DD2: December 2013
This exactly. I get so mad if they complain about being pregnant too and want their baby to come early.
So, I asked my doctor about having another baby... not that we are going to but I don't want to pisha the idea. Take away my ability to reproduce and I'm just the same as a man. Ugh. Good thing, she said I can "absolutely" have another - good. Right?
Now the worry about getting pregnant with my ONE tube left and my super scarred ute.
Lovely.
but I sometimes wish she was still inside me doing well and getting big and being healthy. ::sigh::