regifting .. ?!?

blueyedsweety28 · January 2012

I attended my cousin's wife's baby shower two months ago ..

with that said, I was present during the gift opening .. so I know what she all received and I obviously know what I gave her ..

okayy .. I just had my baby shower this last weekend .. she was not able to attend .. however, she sent her "gifts" along w/another family member ..

I'm at a complete loss here .. ! For one, she gave me back what I gave her .. ? AND the other gifts she put in the bag, I remember seeing her receive at her own shower .. !

I guess my question is .. do I say something to her or just let it go .. ? Quite frankly, I would have rather received nothing from her at all than receive my gifts back and other gifts she received that she apparently did not want and gave to me .. this instance is just odd to me .. I want to say something, yet I'm not the drama type .. just upset mostly that I received things back ..

cmhicklin · January 2012

I think regifting is tacky! I would just say to someone, we got this and couldn't use it, would you like it? But seeing as she probably had someone write down what gifts she received from who for thank you cards, that is especially Hmm

At least don't regift it to the original buyer!

mommabear17 · January 2012

I have no idea of what these gifts were (since you don't say). But could it be possible that they were things that she really liked and thought that you would like as well?

blueyedsweety28 · January 2012

I do not believe that is the case .. diapers, wet ones .. and the out of season onesies she received from other family ..

EastCoastBride · January 2012

O.k. - to give you the gift you gave her... that's just tacky. I don't care so much about "regifting" if you get something that you really can't use but GENUINELY feel that the person you want to give it to really would like it and can use it. If that's the case, go for it.

But if you're regifting just to pass on a gift that you don't want and well, it's just easier to give it to someone else.... rude and tacky. And especially when she can't even keep track of what you gave her vs what she's giving you.

To your question, no, I wouldn't say anything. But I'd make a mental note of this and probably not be all too generous in the future with her.

ccam · January 2012

That's definitely tacky, but I wouldn't say anything to her, it won't solve anything. Just remember it in the future.

SVAQ11 · January 2012

Maybe she decided to use a different type of diaper than the ones you gave her and figured that since you bought that type you are planning on using them?? I still think its tacky to give the same gift back to the person who gave it to you, but as someone who is struggling financially to afford a new baby it is true that desperate times calls for desperate measures. I wouldn't say anything if i were you. It would probably just embarrass her whether she did it intentionally or not. To me, its not that big of a deal.

greengirl0909 · January 2012

mommabear17:
I have no idea of what these gifts were (since you don't say). But could it be possible that they were things that she really liked and thought that you would like as well?

This was my thought. I wouldn't say anything, be the bigger person and walk away from it.

EastCoastBride · January 2012

mommabear17:

But could it be possible that they were things that she really liked and thought that you would like as well?

The thing w/ this, though, is that if I get a gift that I really like - I "pay it forward". I'll give the same thing to other new moms who may not know about the gift. I don't give the same gift BACK to the person who gave it to me because I would assume that if they liked it that much, they probably already have it.

Ivana_Stolichnaya · January 2012

Let it go....but don't forget.

panicked228 · January 2012

Yes, that's insanely tacky. I have no issues with re-gifting per se, but I have an issue with re-gifting it back to the person who gave it to you. Could it be that since she just had a baby, she's tight on money? If she's that broke, she may not have had a choice and those were the only gifts she could send.

Loribelle73 · January 2012

I think it really depends on the gift. If we are talking about diapers, I received a ton of newborn/size 1 diapers at my shower. Since DS was a large baby, we didn't need those sizes much at all, so I saved a few packs to add to other shower gifts (I had 4 other friends having babies around the same time) rather than returning all of them because we are pretty broke and I figured it would be the same difference. As for the out-of-season outfits, would those actually work for your baby? I received several out-of-season outfits (although I saved them and luckly DS2 will be born in the opposite season so they will work for him), but if she simply couldn't use them because they were inappropriate for the weather, it's not quite the same as giving you something she hated. Like I said though, it hinges on whether or not they would work for you either.

dojo1 · January 2012

She was tacky, but be the bigger person by not saying anything to her and gossiping viciously behind her back. It's the only thing you can do I these situations!

Adam&Eve07 · January 2012

EastCoastBride:
O.k. - to give you the gift you gave her... that's just tacky. I don't care so much about "regifting" if you get something that you really can't use but GENUINELY feel that the person you want to give it to really would like it and can use it. If that's the case, go for it.

But if you're regifting just to pass on a gift that you don't want and well, it's just easier to give it to someone else.... rude and tacky. And especially when she can't even keep track of what you gave her vs what she's giving you.

To your question, no, I wouldn't say anything. But I'd make a mental note of this and probably not be all too generous in the future with her.

This. But I would be really tempted to write something along the lines of "The _______ looks similar to the gifts you received from _____. You must have really liked it."

frasey · January 2012

Hang on to the stuff and re-re-gift it to her for her birthday or something. See if she notices Big Smile

blueyedsweety28 · January 2012

the girl hasn't had her baby yet .. she's due 4 days after me .. so if it's out of season for her .. it will be for me, also ..

money is not an issue, her and her husband (my cousin) both have good jobs and very supportive family ..

I also do not think that if my gift was a duplicate .. it gives her a reason to give it back .. ? I guess I can take the positive from this .. since I received my items back, I technically spent no money on her .. I am, however taking her unwanted clothing items to Goodwill .. I wouldn't mind using them on my baby, but at the same time all I would think about when baby was wearing them is how baby got them .. ugh

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