Dh's family giving me a hard time

Re: Dh's family giving me a hard time

• namara5532 member

  January 2012

  I'm sorry you're dealing with that.  Unfortunately, they may not be open minded enough to see just what health benefits you are giving your son.  And to be honest, it isn't their problem.  You're the one who has to feed this child, and you are within your rights to do so how you want.  If their problem is with them feeling like they can't help feed him, you can always hand them some pumped milk in a bottle when he's old enough for one and some pre-pureed food.

  Don't let them get you down.  Breastmilk has so much more than formula, and store bought baby food has so much sugar in it.  Good for you for wanting to give your son something better.

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• fyrefairie member

  January 2012

  f>ck em. sorry but that was the first response that came to mind. 

  i suspect my DHs fam would be the same (not MIL, FIL etc thankfully) but his more extended group who give me *** about most things.  I stopped giving a crap to stay sane

   

  

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• Stirpy33 member

  January 2012

  a lot of older moms didn't do that so they think it's weird. that's probably why they are being like that. I think making your own food is a relatively newer thing to do. i made DS food when he was eating peas, green beans, squash, etc. obviously i also used gerber baby food too, it would have taken a lot of time to exclusively feed him homemade food. and this baby is probably going to have less homemade food bc i'm going to have 2 kids now. they just don't understand. do what you want to do and see how it goes! i had a lot of family who didn't "get" swaddling and keeping the feedings on a schedule. everyone thinks their way of parenting is correct, you'll soon find out!

  

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• rachel.wenger

  January 2012

  Sorry to hear that!  I'm not getting that kind of response from family, but definitely from co-workers.  It is SUPER annoying.  Like they are trying to make you feel like you will never have a life if you try to make your own baby food or pump at work, etc. 

  Luckily, family and DH are being very supportive so far.  We received Christmas gifts for making our own baby food (Baby Breeza, cookbooks, etc.) and they have asked questions about how to help if we need it. 

  Hang in there and do what you need to do as a parent!  In the end, you won't regret it a bit.  :-)

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• megaloo27

  January 2012

  So sorry! I have had backlash the other way. My friends all think I'm crazy for having an Ob and hospital birth instead of midwife and home birth. I tell them I am going to try breastfeeding and they seem offended that I would consider formula. Luckily my family is laid back and don't really have any opinions. 

  

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• Kristine Schilling

  January 2012

  yeah cuz its snotty and stuck up to go with the cheapest method of feeding your child.

   

  LOL

  

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• trackchik6 member

  January 2012

  I know breast is best so I don't let it get to me if anyone has any other opinions.  Just ignore them. 

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• neener3 member

  January 2012

  I know it's hard, but you have to ignore them.  Your child, your decisions.  Think of this as the first of many, many, many choices that you're going to make in your child's life that they're going to disagree with.

   

  My mother-in-law told me I was going to starve my child if I breastfed.  And his grandmother laughed in my face when she asked why I was breastfeeding and my husband and I responded "breast is best".  So I know where you're coming from.

   

  You can always just say that you aren't looking for advice.  I haven't been brave enough to try that one yet. 

  
  

  
  

  
  
  

  

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• Thinkerbelle80 member

  January 2012

  Wow.  That's awful.  You need to stop sharing with them your plans for raising your child.  Just stop talking about it because it seems like they are looking for things to criticize.  Maybe the next time they say something, you can point out how many hundreds of dollars extra you save per month by doing these things so, it's not actually snotty, it's cheap.  

  
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• 2BMrsMcW member

  January 2012

  Could be worse...my mom is the one who keeps telling everyone that I'm a hippie because I want to breastfeed and make my own food. Yet she bought me the baby bullet. Instead of insulting me all the time, she finally asked why I wanted to do it when I wasn't raised that way (even if she wanted to consider bfing, she couldn't with my sister because she was born with a cleft palette). I told her that in addition to all of the health (and financial) benefits, I consider it a personal challenge since it's not something that will come as easily as I have not been exposed to as many people with the same mindset. Haven't really heard anymore about it since then.

  It is annoying to be questioned, but just be honest when people ask and don't judge their choices (I am not saying that you are). Often judgement comes from lack of information. Hang in there and be proud of what you are doing!
  

   

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• MrsAMB07 member

  January 2012

  How annoying! I did both and feel great about my decisions. MIL was all for bfing, but kind of gave me an attitude about the making my own food business. I think because she didn't make her own she didn't see the point (but she did BF, so that was okay). I felt like I had to justify why I was deciding to do this over and over again. Now looking back I realize that I shouldn't have and it was really no one else's business!

  DS 5 years old

  DD 2 years old

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• anhg80

  January 2012

  I haven't had too much backlash about these decisions, but when people side-eye my "hippie" decisions (bf, make baby food, cloth diaper), I always make a point about how much cheaper these decisions are.  I find that those who think all the health benefits are hoo-ha can still understand the value of saving money.  

  That sucks that your family isn't behind you, but you'll just show them.  Honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if, in the end your SIL is jealous about how easy it is for you to feed your baby.  No need to prep formula!  (although pumping will suck... but she doesn't need to know that).

  

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• mexicolombiana member

  January 2012

  fyrefairie:

  f>ck em. sorry but that was the first response that came to mind. 

  i suspect my DHs fam would be the same (not MIL, FIL etc thankfully) but his more extended group who give me *** about most things.  I stopped giving a crap to stay sane

  
  

  That was my first response too.  Why do they even get to TALK about how you will be feeding your child?  IMO they don't even get to have an opinion about it.  I would tell them to shut up.  or perhaps more nicely to BUTT out.  Wait that's not nicer.  I would just ignore them.

  
  

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• 2BMrsMcW member

  January 2012

  What's great about your situation, by the way, is that you and your SIL will be close enough that you can directly see the differences in your choices of raising babies.
  

   

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• acorlew7 member

  January 2012

  I plan on breast feeding and making my own baby food, too. Luckily both sides of the fam are supportive of this. My MIL is a "health nut". LOL, The fact that your IL's are being so unsupportive is ridiculous. If they say anything about it again, just tell them that studies have shown that this is what's best for babies and you want to do what you think is best. If they don't like it, tough crap. This is your child to raise, not theirs.

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