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Car Seat Trauma?

MarseeMarsee member
in Attachment Parenting

Hi ladies. I've only posted once here before LO was born, but I've been lurking quite a bit. I hope to become a little more active here. Hoping you could help me with an issue:

LO really doesn't like his carseat. I tried to drive to my mom's (40 min. away) and it took me almost three hours because I had to keep pulling over because LO was screaming. I feel terrible that he's back there by himself and doesn't understand what's going on. If MH is driving, I sit in the back with LO so I can comfort him, but I really don't like to drive anywhere by myself. I never let LO cry (for more than 5 min.) at home, so it breaks my heart that he has to cry for more than 5 min. in the car, especially with no one there to comfort him.

Is this carseat issue really scarring him? I want him to know that I'll always be there to comfort him. And it breaks my heart to know that he's suffering.

Luckily I WFH so I don't need to leave the house very often, but it would be nice if I could go out with LO more often. Any ideas/solutions? Thanks!

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Re: Car Seat Trauma?

  • luvmybaby28luvmybaby28 member

    oh my goodness, this is so hard.  I always would sit in the back when my h was driving and I hated to drive long distances because I knew he would cry.  I could not stand to hear him cry and I always would pull over when he was losing it, every minute felt like an eternity!

    Good news is, lo is now 19 months and has loved the car for quite some time, well before he turned 1.  Babies are going to cry even when we are doing a great job: there will be teething, seraration anxiety, tantrums, etc.  He is not scarred.  He has a mother who loves him and responds to his cries accordingly, you are doing a great job!

    You could try a white noise machine, singing, music, a safe toy.  But it might just need some time as well, he will possibly love the car in no time, but then there will be another challenge!

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  • tokenhosertokenhoser member
    Is he still in the bucket seat? I've heard some babies much prefer the convertible seat, so if he's that unhappy it might be worth a try. You'll have to buy it sooner or later anyway.
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  • MarseeMarsee member

    imagetokenhoser:
    Is he still in the bucket seat? I've heard some babies much prefer the convertible seat, so if he's that unhappy it might be worth a try. You'll have to buy it sooner or later anyway.

    Yeah, he's still in the bucket seat. I hadn't really thought about moving up to a convertible seat yet, but maybe that's the solution. At 5 mos. his little feet are already close to hanging off the end and the straps are at their highest setting. Maybe we should start looking into convertibles. 

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  • MarseeMarsee member
    imageluvmybaby28:

    You could try a white noise machine, singing, music, a safe toy.  But it might just need some time as well, he will possibly love the car in no time, but then there will be another challenge!

    Thanks for the encouragement. I've tried singing, but that doesn't seem to help. I'll try some relaxing music, etc. 

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  • Hope2HaveHope2Have
    I don't let Hadley cry either when we are at home... but.... if she is in the backseat and I know she is safe, fed, dry and she still cries, I know she is okay. I also believe that a baby will not be scarred by doing so. If she gets too fussy I sing really really loud and she usually stops and looks around confused. Also she has a mirror in the backseat so she can see me in the rearview and that helps her.
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  • AsquaredAsquared member
    I can relate. After 2.5 years of it, turns out she was chronically constipated- does he show any signs of that?  Little things that helped from time to time- favorite little musical toy to hold, scratching the top of her carseat- the funny sound strangely worked?--  a monkey mirror--- I even attached a light displayer to the headrest (I know, big no-no, but it was better than a screaming child all the time) and she'd watch that on the ceiling of my car.   He won't be scarred for life though, maybe try a little drive around the neighborhood- maybe he just needs more practice?  GL!
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  • ncbellencbelle member

    Both my kids disliked the bucket and were MUCH MUCH happier when we switched to a convertible.  Eleanor was particularly bad and screamed bloody murder.  Now she's very happy and will sleep back there just fine!

    But even if that doesn't completely fix it, you've gotta go when you've got to go.   You are there to talk him through it, sing, etc - even if he's mad, he knows you are there.  It sucks though, I know!



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  • Sweetbay505Sweetbay505
    imagetokenhoser:
    Is he still in the bucket seat? I've heard some babies much prefer the convertible seat, so if he's that unhappy it might be worth a try. You'll have to buy it sooner or later anyway.
    THIS! I switched around 5 months and wish I had done it sooner. He was so much happier in the convertible. My pedi actually suggested it and said she's noticed that the angle on infant seats can really bother some babies.
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  • mindingpandqmindingpandq
    We said no TV before LO was born but we started to be able to go NOWHERE without her becoming horribly upset, we took a friend's advice and put Baby Einstein movies on for her in the car. It worked like a charm and eventually she was able to regulate better on her own. She is 2 now and does great in the car. For what its worth, the Baby Einstein has had no negative impact on her intelligence, language, or anything else. She is super bright, verbal, and has good focus for a 2 year old. We sometimes wonder if it enhanced her language.
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  • rmm17rmm17 member
    Ace went through that for a while too but thankfully he got over it.  When we made long drives (40 minutes) we tried to do it during nap times so he would go to sleep.  Something else we discovered was that he loved books on tape.  I have the Jamie Lee Curtis kids book series on cd and whenever i turn it on he instantly would get quiet.  I also have a Julie Andrews poetry book on cd that works.  Anything rhythmic and rhyming seems to work. 
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  • MamasaurusMamasaurus member
    I don't know if it will help, but you could try sleeping with a blanket or car seat liner for a few nights, then putting it in the car seat. That way your LO will have a sense of you and might slef-soothe a little better. Of course, if it's seeing things moving fast outside the window or the sensation of sudden motion and stopping that is bothersome, this won't help much because you can't really take that out of driving. Hopefully this gets easier with time, either way!
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  • x0stephaniex0stephanie member
    imagetokenhoser:
    Is he still in the bucket seat? I've heard some babies much prefer the convertible seat, so if he's that unhappy it might be worth a try. You'll have to buy it sooner or later anyway.
    ^This. My baby actually smiled and laughed the first time I put him in the convertible seat.
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  • x0stephaniex0stephanie member
    I dont know if he would be able to see it in the infant seat but you could try using a carseat mirror. Babies love looking at themselves.
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