Breaking the nurse to sleep association?

Jelliebean1982 · January 2012

Anyone have any tips on how to stop nursing to sleep? I swore I'd never do it, but when I went back to work at 6 weeks he started reverse cycling. Then there was a bottle preference, and the only time I could get him to eat from the breast was when he was drowsy.

However, this nursing to sleep thing is becoming a problem. He's waking up 8-10x a night to nurse. Even though I go to bed at 8pm with the kids I'm still a zombie at work the next day. I don't feel like I'm doing great at anything. I always feel fuzzy at work and when I get home I'm so exhausted. My marriage is suffering because I'm so snappy at DH. Something has to change.

Usually our bedtime routine consists us getting DD ready for bed, then hopping in bed and singing some songs while DS nurses to sleep. DD falls asleep after I leave the room. The past few days I've been trying to nurse, then sing, then put him down. He'll nurse, then get drowsy, so I'll put him down and leave the room. Then he'll start fussing and when he starts to cry I try the whole pick up, put down thing. It's not working. He doesn't stop crying until I nurse him again, even though he just nursed a few minutes ago.

If I keep trying the new routine will he eventually break the nurse to sleep association? Any other tips or advice? And if I do get him sleeping in the crib to reduce night wakings will he ever be able to transition back to my bed without wanting to nurse all night long? I really love bedsharing and don't want to stop indefinitely.

ncbelle · January 2012

Have you read the No Cry Sleep Solution? She has advice on breaking the nurse to sleep association. My advice (based on what worked well for us) was to have another way that baby was willing to go to sleep - in our case, wearing baby to sleep. DH could do this too (and I think that's hugely important).

All that said, I don't think nursing to sleep is bad in and of itself. It's the nightwakings that are the problem - I think you should still expect some night nursing but I'd agree that 8-10 is killer. Do you nurse in bed, side lying? I actually don't know for sure how often I nurse at night at this point as I just fall right back to sleep! But if that doesn't work for you, I'd try having DH soothe baby back to sleep some of the time and then nursing the others.

Jelliebean1982 · January 2012

Thanks for your reply, ncbelle! I never even thought about babywearing to get him to go to sleep. He won't fall asleep in the car but has fallen asleep in the carrier. That might be a great way to transition him away from nursing to sleep. I'd much rather him have a need for physical closeness at night than expect my boob to be in his mouth each time he wakes. The reason why I want to get away from nursing to sleep is because I really think each time he stirs he wonders why the boob isn't in his mouth. He never lets go of it on his own. I have to be a stealth ninja to get it out and quickly replace it with the pacifier.

We do nurse side-lying at night. It's the only way I've made it this far.

ncbelle · January 2012

LOL at stealth ninja ;-)

I'd definitely give the carrier a go - better yet, let DH give it a go. He may fuss and cry but he'll be in loving arms - which he'll soon figure out and adjust to ;-)

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