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1st Trimester
It's OK if you're scared
I just wanted to post this since when I was in my first trimester I looked all over this site and couldn't find anything like it... I got pregnant on purpose, yet just after I found out I was pregnant I started to FREAK OUT. I was exhausted to the point of ridiculousness and didn't really get off the couch for 6 weeks. (One day at 4pm I realized I hadn't showered in 3 days or brushed my teeth that morning, and it just seemed like too much effort to bother. [I am not working at the moment.]) My hormones were ENRAGED and I absolutely hated being pregnant. I was afraid that I'd made a mistake and I'd ruined our lives. It was terrible. And nowhere on this site had anyone admitted to having the same feelings. All I can tell you is, if you feel this way, you are not an evil, ungrateful monster. This does not make you a bad mother. Trust me, *it gets better*. You get used to being pregnant, although I still hate it, and you get used to the idea of being a mom. It becomes part of your life, and that's a good thing. JUST HANG ON. :-)
[For the record, I didn't have a hard time TTC and have had a fairly easy pregnancy, all things considered. I hope I haven't offended anyone who is currently TTC and not having an easy time of it. I just felt like I can't possibly be the only one who's felt like this, and wouldn't it make our community better if someone owned up to it, so that others in this position don't feel so alone?]
[For the record, I didn't have a hard time TTC and have had a fairly easy pregnancy, all things considered. I hope I haven't offended anyone who is currently TTC and not having an easy time of it. I just felt like I can't possibly be the only one who's felt like this, and wouldn't it make our community better if someone owned up to it, so that others in this position don't feel so alone?]
This discussion has been closed.
Re: It's OK if you're scared
Just out of curiosity -- what does that mean??
Made up drama
1. Why do you assume this is MUD.
2. She has some good thoughts and isn't totally wrong. Not everyone is totally excited about being pregnant right away.
A kiss he will never forget- Disney World 2014
What seems made up or dramatic about this? This is real life for a lot of people.
I'm going to add to it about what can happen with your feelings AFTER you have the baby. You'll be changed the minute that baby is born but not everyone falls madly in love that first instant and that's OK. Yes, you feel love and you feel protective and you want your baby to be well cared for and safe. But like anyone else you meet in your life, you need time to get to know that new little person and fall in love with all of his/her quirks.
So many women think that all women posses the maximum amount of motherly love that first minute that they feel inadequate and that can lead to feeling like there's something wrong with you. Trust me, regardless of how much love you feel toward your minute old, that loves grows even if you don't think it's possible or you worry it won't.
Wow - of all the comments I thought I'd get on this post, "MUD" wasn't among them. I guess this kind of harsh, condescending attitude is why no one has ever posted anything like this before. My hope for you, DemoDoll, is that you never feel one second of pain or doubt or confusion or fear during the remainder of your pregnancy and all throughout the life of your kid. Or if you do, that you're not so careless as to post it on the boards here. Ya just never know who's gonna have something nasty to say, right?
You just made my whole day. Thank YOU! (And congratulations!
)
Just to clarify I was ONLY explaining what MUD meant. Don't appreciate being quoted in your reply.
Right after my BFP I had some indifferent thoughts about it for a few days as the worrier side of me came out. That has since passed and I don't doubt that there are women out there feeling the same way you did. Thanks for sharing your experience.
My apologies - you're right. I'm new to posting (on any message board, anywhere, actually), and you shouldn't have been quoted there. Totally my mistake - thanks for pointing it out.
I thought it was MUD because she was so elaborate to apologize for hurting anyone's feelings that are TTC. This is the 1st trimester board so how would she be hurting anyone's feelings that are TTC? I am sure some people TTC do lurk on this board but they shouldn't get upset by a post that wasn't even directed at them.
The whole first part didn't seem like MUD to me at all. I've had the same feelings from time and time, maybe not as strong as hers...but that wasn't why I thought it was MUD. I just thought the last part was trying to bring drama to the board.
Sorry OP...after re-reading the post I can see that my assumption was me just being a dumb pregnant woman.
Thanks, DemoDoll - I appreciate it. I was just trying to be careful because I've seen women who are TRC get upset when those who are pg seem ungrateful - & I totally get that. And you are NOT dumb, because if you are then I am too for misunderstanding you and getting all snarky.
Thanks! You too! How far along are you? When did your symptoms subside? I'm 10 weeks and the symptoms seem to be getting better but the non-existant emotions are now showing up.
You know what i love about people like you? You b!tch and moan that people offer advice when you didn't ask all the way through your pregnancy. BUT the minute you HAVE the baby and realize how farking hard it is, you b!tch and moan that NOBODY told you it was going to be this hard. I have seen it over and over again, especially down the road on 2nd and 3rd tri
tri boards- i don't care what you have been through, you don't need to come back and give advice. I am different, i don't need your words of advice. I didn't ask.
0-3 board- OMG this is so hard, How come nobody tells you these things, I wish someone would have said something before
The OP has a valid piece of advice. If it doesn't pertain to you, move on. However, don't get all pissy that she is, or anyone else for that matter,giving advice. YOU never know when YOU may actually need it.
ETA: edited for some typos- Stupid computer.
A kiss he will never forget- Disney World 2014
Auroraloo, what is your problem? Just because she only has 7 posts doesn't mean she doesn't have something valid to say. As far as how long she's been here, it's only a couple months less than you....There's really no need to attack her if you disagree, just move on.
To the OP- Thank You for posting!!!! So glad to know i'm not the only one who feels this way and I was really starting to feel guilty for it. Thank you.
So only people who post on TB are knowledgable on the topic of being pregnant? What does having 7posts have to do with anything?
You have no idea why she has 7 posts- maybe she has lurked for ever but never joined in. Maybe she had an account awhile back but deleated it. Maybe she needed to change her screen name b/c it had a last name in it or something and she had to start over.
Post count is not important.
Feelings are feelings. And I have a feeling you are being a complete b!tch.
A kiss he will never forget- Disney World 2014
DH has been so irritated with me for feeling these things. I worry those motherly instincts won't kick in and I will fail to be a good mother. I worry that we won't have the money to give our child the things he needs. I worry that I will be resentful of all the things I am giving up for my child. I worry that he won't be healthy. I know I am ridiculous and am so happy that I am finally in this stage of my life so I hate that I have these fears. Thanks to the OP for addressing this so I don't feel so alone in this anymore.
There are already at least ten people who posted after her thanking her for what she said. Just because you don't want to hear her advice or experience on early pregnancy, it doesn't mean others don't. And besides, I didn't even read the OP as her giving advice. It was her expressing how she felt during early pregnancy so that others could possibly relate and not feel like what they may be feeling is wrong or strange.
I think that the OP pretty clearly stated that the reason she posted this was that she looked for a post like this when she first joined the board, and couldn't find it. She didn't feel like she could share (at the time) how she was feeling, because no one else seemed to feel the same way. She wanted to share how she felt so that others would be comfortable sharing their experiences. I don't think there's anything wrong with that. I didn't even read her post as "advice". It was just, "this is how I felt and I want you to know you're not alone if you feel the same way." I think that's really valid. I don't think she deserved to be flamed at all.
BTW - it was nice to see the original misunderstanding cleared up in such a nice way. I like it!
good. You should be
A kiss he will never forget- Disney World 2014
It was my understanding that this was a place where we can talk about things whether good, bad, funny or whatever it is that is on your mind. With the ignorant responses I have read here, I am not so sure I will be posting very much if everything will be criticized. I am disgusted by the childish namecalling and responses.
Nope that was me. But don't worry, I have the post count to back up my feelings.
A kiss he will never forget- Disney World 2014
I am starting to think that part of the name calling may have been appropriate given the negativeity coming from this poster.
I just want to say thank you for sharing your experience.
Its interesting to me how sometimes people who disagree or are just being nasty or having a bad day for whatever reason seem to post comments that tend to start up things. Like my mother always says, if you don't have something nice to say, dont say nothing at all! This is just a general observation I have noticed....either way, thanks for sharing.
Exactly, so there's no need for you to be such a twatwaffle now is there?! You need to calm your shiiit. Talk about attention whore.
dup.
You are right! you don't have to agree with her, but seriously of you don't have anything positive to say or contribute don't say ish!
You are right! you don't have to agree with her, but seriously of you don't have anything positive to say or contribute don't say ish!
Yeah, good thing. I am sure people are really scared.
A kiss he will never forget- Disney World 2014
She's gonna be a fun one to follow!
The above was for DemiDoll - but for everyone else.... To those of you who found this helpful, I'm glad. As to everyone else, I wasn't trying to give anyone any advice - I am not qualified to give anyone advice on *anything*, I assure you, especially being pregnant. I really was just trying to be nice. I have to say, it's kind of sad that anyone saw it as anything other than that.
If it makes you feel better dude.
I'm glad to see that you made it through that tough time and I'm sure lots of people have had doubts and concern
*laugh* You hit the nail on the head there. And even after you have the baby, it doesnt really let up. At least, for me, with my first, it didnt. I remember calling a friend the first time I took my firstborn in the car and saying "What the hell have I done? I cant do this! Who let me take a newborn out of the hospital anyway?"
Thankfully I've calmed down since then and I didnt have that reaction with my second...I'm hoping that my third (this pregnancy) goes even smoother than the first two.
But there's always something to worry about and moms need to know/remember that its ok to worry. Doesnt make you a bad person or a horrible mother. Just makes you human.