How often do you ignore tantrums?

MissLadyTay · January 2012

So baby boy has started full on screaming, red faced tantrums when we stop him from doing something or take something away. Today we were letting him crawl in the basement and he tried to chew on a lamp cord. I said no and picked him up and set him down on the other side of the room near his toys. No dice. He proceeded to SCREAM for five minutes. I tried to distract him with toys and he was having none of it. Crawled straight for the lamp. Repeat meltdown when I stopped him from getting to it. At that point I stepped away from him and ignored him while he yelled a bit and finally distracted himself with a music ball we have.

In hindsight I am wondering if I should comfort him more or something. I don't let him CIO in his crib, but I basically let him CIO on the floor when he doesn't get his way. For some reason those feel different to me. But why? How are you handling tantrums? Ideas welcome!

SandiaPinaMama · January 2012

LO has never done anything like what you're describing. He does get annoyed at me when I take something away (usually the cord to the laptop). If he gets worked up to the point of crying, I hold him while he cries. I usually end up saying something like "I know you're mad right now, but you may not play with the cords because it's dangerous. Let's find something you can do safely." LOL, right? He doesn't really understand any of that, and I'm not sure where I got it, but it's what I do. Other than that I don't overly try to calm or comfort or anything.

JenniCollins · January 2012

When Chloe does this I'll say something along the lines of "I know you are mad but we can't do ________." And I'll bring her to (or give her) something she can play with. If she still cries I'll say "Chloe we don't cry about this" and surprisingly she usually stops, if she is still crying I let her cry and she calms herself down and finds something else to play with. If she is looking to me for cuddles I will pick her up, but usually she's just trying to cry till she get's her way.

MissLadyTay · January 2012

JenniCollins:
When Chloe does this I'll say something along the lines of "I know you are mad but we can't do ________." And I'll bring her to (or give her) something she can play with. If she still cries I'll say "Chloe we don't cry about this" and surprisingly she usually stops, if she is still crying I let her cry and she calms herself down and finds something else to play with. If she is looking to me for cuddles I will pick her up, but usually she's just trying to cry till she get's her way.

I wish he would look to me for cuddles!!!

That is a whole separate issue. He is always on the go and doesn't want to be held much. When he's tired or sick he just wants to be left alone in his crib. I miss my cuddly boy so much.

MissLadyTay · January 2012

watermelon mom:
LO has never done anything like what you're describing. He does get annoyed at me when I take something away (usually the cord to the laptop). If he gets worked up to the point of crying, I hold him while he cries. I usually end up saying something like "I know you're mad right now, but you may not play with the cords because it's dangerous. Let's find something you can do safely." LOL, right? He doesn't really understand any of that, and I'm not sure where I got it, but it's what I do. Other than that I don't overly try to calm or comfort or anything.

What is it about cords that attracts babies like flies to honey??? I'm super paranoid about him wrapping anything around his neck or thinking cords are toys so he is absolutely never allowed to touch them. Most are hidden, but some can't be avoided and he knows where ALL of them are in our house. And goes after them the second you look away!

Vespah · January 2012

If you liked the Happiest Baby on the Block, the author also wrote a follow up book called The Happiest Toddler on the Block. I'm part way though it now, and it goes over a bunch of this stuff. Have yet to try it out, but it seems promising.

GHBEA · January 2012

I just ignore them. I feel even giving her attention during one makes her do it more. Now that I ignore them she doesn't have as many as she did.

When she is older I will talk to her about it, but right now this works for us.

MissLadyTay · January 2012

GHBEA:
I just ignore them. I feel even giving her attention during one makes her do it more. Now that I ignore them she doesn't have as many as she did.
When she is older I will talk to her about it, but right now this works for us.

Yeah this is kind of what I've been thinking. The only word he "gets" is "no." Well, that and "bottle" and "Cheerio," haha! The more I talk to him when he is melting down the more confused I make him, I think. Hence my kind of leaving him be. Thank you!

juliagulia4 · January 2012

CTGirl30:
We are only getting major screaming fits on the changing table these days...it started out of nowhere and we've tried everything (distraction with a toy, keeping special toys at the change table, singing, ignoring, comforting, etc). The ONLY thing that seemed to help a little was her Seahorse. I think she liked the soothing music. But it was by no means a magically consistent cure.

Oh my gosh, us too! All of a sudden a diaper change is like torture and he screams and kicks the entire time, or tries to turn over onto his stomach. Lots of fun when you are trying to wipe up poop at the same time.....

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