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Attachment Parenting
10 months and still waking 1-2 times a night
My 10 month old usually goes to sleep at 7:00, then she's up at 11:00pm 3:00am and then up for good at 7:00am.
I go in and give her a bottle. I don't talk to her or anything, I just give her her bottle and she goes back down.
I am really really trying to avoid CIO. Everyone tells us that she really should be sleeping completely through the night. Our pedi encouraged CIO and stated that if we don't create good sleep habits now it will be harder when she grows out of the crib. We also want to be bottle free by 1 year.
Am I screwing my kid up? Is it ridiculous for her to be up every four hours at this age? Is she ever going to sleep completely through the night? It is hard to hear others tell me I am doing it wrong. I really don't know if I am doing the right thing. I don't know what else to do other than CIO. If I try not to give her a bottle and just rock her and give her a paci, she FREAKS out. I need some advice.
TIA.
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Re: 10 months and still waking 1-2 times a night
You could maybe try a bottle with only water, or even a sippy with water. Plus if you use only water she can keep the cup or bottle in there with her to help her self soothe a little....
It isn't ideal but teaching to sttn and breaking a bottle habit at the same time could be really stressful on her and make it a harder and longer process for you.
But for the record my DD didn't STTN until 15 months, and all she wanted was me to come in the room pat her butt and she was fine....It takes some babies longer, I mean I don't STTN myself and I am 28, I get up for drinks and to pee and to stretch....
My mom says I didn't STTN until I was 18 months or so. She never did CIO and I figured things out on my own
Remember, no one really STTN. Even as adults, we enter periods of light sleep and either change position and drift back off, or get up for some water or to use the bathroom. Or maybe we just resettle and never know we woke up a bit. That is a normal sleep cycle for everyone.
If your night situation is working for you and LO is well rested, you're doing great!
One thing I've seen suggested is slowly reducing the oz in the bottle and redistributing them during the day. Also if you want to go to bed earlier than 11 you could try a dream feed around when you want to go to bed so hopefully you won't have to get back up for a while. I'm not sure if dreamfeeds work w/older babies though.
A friend of mine's baby was waking for a bottle at around 11 months. She asked for advice on facebook and a little CIO debate happened in the comments. (I remember following along b/c I was pregnant at the time.) Anyway, she didn't have to decide whether or not to cry it out b/c a few days later her baby dropped the feeding on her own for a few nights. Then when she would occasionally wake at that time, they would pat her and she would fall back asleep. Just one anecdotal story, but it shows that some babies do just get it on their own.
I agree w/Birdies, if you are okay with it, I wouldn't worry about what "everyone" is telling you. She's your baby!
Breastfeeding Counselor with Breastfeeding USA
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I would take a step back and ask yourself why are you feeling pressured for your LO to STTN. Is it because you truly believe that she should be sleeping all night? Or is it because others are telling you this and making you feel bad?
Personally, I don't think that STTN should be an expectation for a child, as is the case in many other cultures. Sure, some babies STTN early on but others don't--like my 14 month DD who still wakes up multiple times each night.
My AP friendly pedi doesn't bat an eye when I mention my DDs sleeping patterns and has never suggested CIO.
Hang in there, mama. I know it can be tough when you start to question yourself. But try to figure out what you feel is best for YOU and your LO and take everyone else's opinions out of the equation. You'll be much happier that way.
This sounds totally age appropriate. Honestly, to me, it sounds like a dream!
Barring a specific health concern, I consider STTN to be a parenting issue not a medical one, so consider if your doctor's opinion on this even matters. Night waking is very normal--it is more common than STTN. Kellymom has some information that encouraged me...
https://www.kellymom.com/parenting/sleep/sleep.html
https://www.kellymom.com/parenting/sleep/sleepstudies.html
In our house, we consider something a sleep "problem" when LO's temperament is regularly off during the day or if DH or I are extremely, negatively effected. I find that a more helpful definition that something someone else has (perhaps unreasonably) defined for me.
More Green For Less Green
Currently going through our second deployment. Can't wait for Zoe to meet her daddy!
I agree, that was all very good advice and makes me feel more sure of our decisions. It is just difficult when everyone is making you feel abnormal. I know I should just be secure in what is right for us, but I also don't want to be screwing my kid up either.
The pedi actually said that I need to sleep train now before the baby is out of a crib because when she can just get out of bed whenever she wants then she is going to be up all night. That said, he said that his children woke up at 5 am every morning. I wanted to say my kid might get up for 5ish minutes twice a night, but at least she isn't getting up at 5 am, that sounds like a nightmare.
Honestly, thanks a lot for the good advice. We are just going to keep on doing what works for us.
DS's worst sleep stretch ever was from 10-12 months. We tried *everything*... then suddenly he got 4 teeth, and it all made sense.
No, you're not messing him up. Quite the contrary; IMO you're teaching him that he is loved 24 hours a day by responding to him.
About weaning at night, you may want to read this:
https://drjaygordon.com/attachment/sleeppattern.html
Here's the thing--that may very well not even be a "problem" to your point of view. LO has a floor bed and when he is sleeping in it all night someday, if he wants to get up and play in his baby-safe room, until we wake--that is his choice. Every now and then, even with bed-sharing, he'll wake up really early. So, we leave a quiet toy and a book in the far end of his side-car and we've taught him how to get those things and play quietly while we sleep. Now, we are partially awake as he babbles, but it means we get in a bit more zzzzzs. It's not like we can FORCE him to go back to sleep! It sounds like your pedi is well-meaning but basing her opinion on personal, antecdotal views--and defining "problem" in a way that you may not.
More Green For Less Green
You're not screwing your kid up. DD1 woke up at similar times until I finally night weaned her at 26 months. Even after that, she woke around midnight to sneak into our room and climb into our bed. It's really been since she turned 5 years that she is able to go to sleep all by herself and sleep in her bed all night. She's a perfectly happy, smart, well adjusted 5 yo.
DD2 is up to nurse usually twice throughout the night, and she's almost 18 months. She then wakes up around 5am to nurse (which I consider close enough to morning). She'll usually sleep for another hour after that before she's up for the day around 6-6:30am. Then when she's teething, she wakes even more, and I wake up so exhausted that I start to think about sleep training. Within a week, she's usually back to her usually 2x waking, and I feel completely well rested. I am hoping that eventually she'll stop waking on her own. I'm not ready to night wean her since she's not nursing enough during the day to make up for that. I'll probably reconsider after she turns 2, but like DD1, night weaning her is no guarantee that she'll stop waking anyway.
The bottom line is that you need to do what's right for your family. Anyone who's not living in your house doesn't get an opinion, because it doesn't effect them. I'd take your pedi's opinion with a grain of salt too. Is she on track physically and developmentally? If so, waking twice a night isn't causing her any harm. It's just more of a nuisance for you.
Charlotte Ella 07.16.10
Emmeline Grace 03.27.13
This exactly!!! I could have wrote this story myself. My little princess just won't sleep through the night and never has. Hopefully, there is a light at the end of the tunnel??