Best age to transition to crib (and out of our room)

karinothing · January 2012

So, this weekly we successfully transitioned DS (2.5 months) from bed sharing to co-sleeping (at least till 4am when I get to tired to rock him back to sleep). So I was just wondering what a good age is to transition him to the crib in his own room. I know he won't fit in the bassinet forever but he is still pretty small (30 percentile in height and weight) so I don't think that is an immediate concern.

I was thinking 4 months since that is when I hear babies start to develop sleep habits. Is there really a best age?

pixieprincss · January 2012

Within the mindset of attachment parenting, that totally depends on LO's lead (unless cosleeping is unacceptably disrupting the health/sanity of the parents, in which case the "b" of balance comes in and you change what you need to change for the overall health of everyone in the family). Since we are managing fine, even with LO's frequent night-waking, we think the best age is as LO drives it because we see nightime as a great time to refill his "attachment tank" (by sleeping together) and it makes nighttime nursing so easy so just pop him on rather than getting out of bed after crying has escalated enough to rouse us. He starts the night on a floor bed in his own room and then bedshares from his first nighttime nursing on. He does daytime naps on his floor bed, too. That started at about 9 months when he started crawling. We were concerned about him crawling out of our bed and getting hurt, since at that age he couldn't self-direct scooting off the bed safely (backing down while on his tummy). So, we set up the floor bed to see if he would take to it, and he did.

karinothing · January 2012

pixieprincss:
Within the mindset of attachment parenting, that totally depends on LO's lead (unless cosleeping is unacceptably disrupting the health/sanity of the parents, in which case the "b" of balance comes in and you change what you need to change for the overall health of everyone in the family). Since we are managing fine, even with LO's frequent night-waking, we think the best age is as LO drives it because we see nightime as a great time to refill his "attachment tank" (by sleeping together) and it makes nighttime nursing so easy so just pop him on rather than getting out of bed after crying has escalated enough to rouse us. He starts the night on a floor bed in his own room and then bedshares from his first nighttime nursing on. He does daytime naps on his floor bed, too. That started at about 9 months when he started crawling. We were concerned about him crawling out of our bed and getting hurt, since at that age he couldn't self-direct scooting off the bed safely (backing down while on his tummy). So, we set up the floor bed to see if he would take to it, and he did.

Yeah, I like that idea, the problem is that we don't have room to do a floor bed or crib side car in our room Crying I guess I am just a little paranoid because DH's family is a family of bedsharers for life (his cousin was still sleeping in bed with her parents when she left for college). I know that I don't want to do that ha ha

pixieprincss · January 2012

karinothing:

pixieprincss:
Within the mindset of attachment parenting, that totally depends on LO's lead (unless cosleeping is unacceptably disrupting the health/sanity of the parents, in which case the "b" of balance comes in and you change what you need to change for the overall health of everyone in the family). Since we are managing fine, even with LO's frequent night-waking, we think the best age is as LO drives it because we see nightime as a great time to refill his "attachment tank" (by sleeping together) and it makes nighttime nursing so easy so just pop him on rather than getting out of bed after crying has escalated enough to rouse us. He starts the night on a floor bed in his own room and then bedshares from his first nighttime nursing on. He does daytime naps on his floor bed, too. That started at about 9 months when he started crawling. We were concerned about him crawling out of our bed and getting hurt, since at that age he couldn't self-direct scooting off the bed safely (backing down while on his tummy). So, we set up the floor bed to see if he would take to it, and he did.

Yeah, I like that idea, the problem is that we don't have room to do a floor bed or crib side car in our room I guess I am just a little paranoid because DH's family is a family of bedsharers for life (his cousin was still sleeping in bed with her parents when she left for college). I know that I don't want to do that ha ha

Here's the thing, I would venture to guess that something beyond infant/early childhood bed-sharing led to the cousin's story. My nephew is 9 and still sleeps with his parents, but he has severe anxiety. Over time, the security their actions provide is helping him blossom at his own pace. For them, it is likely appropriate parenting for an extreme situation.

That aside, most children develop healthy patterns of attachment/independence. I would venture to guess that most children in the world bed-share with parents or siblings, yet they grow up and go on to live independent adult lives.

If you want to move LO, no prob. But, I wouldn't do it primarily out of concern for abnormal development. While the extreme stories are striking, realize that they are just that---extreme.

ncbelle · January 2012

I like Fred's answer ;-)

For us it worked perfectly to transition Callum to a floor bed in his room around 15 months. I plan to do the same with Eleanor.

StarlitRN · January 2012

fredalina:
When that's the way everyone sleeps best, or when the majority do, or when someone is strongly negatively impacted by other sleeping arrangements.

100% this! Around 10mo DD started showing signs that she needed her own room (she was waking to our noises & movements, sleeping almost all the night, and wanting more space...) so we moved her into her own space and only had 2 nights of a little extra fussiness before she was all good! I stressed a LOT about our sleeping arrangements & "bad" habits I was forming.....next time I am just going to relax and go with the flow!

Ty0709 · January 2012

We moved my dd to her own room when she was 4mo. I started at 3mo by making her room familiar to her during the day. She was in there for naps, stories and swing time while I folded laundry or did work. She never had a bad transition time.

She is now 5 and has been very independent at bed time since around 1yr. She is very content with a bedtime story (or two), big loves from mom and dad, tucked in with a nightly prayer and putting herself to sleep. This has been our routine for 4 years now. She has a hard time sleeping anywhere but her bed. Even when I have tried to get her to sleep with me (while dh is working all night) she only lasts about an hour with me then asks if she can go back to her own bed.

We have a strong bond together and she is very attached to me, she is just independent and likes her own space when it comes to sleeping

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