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Petty deployment/newborn vent

crogers19crogers19 member
in Military Families

So this is kind of silly but im hormonal and its pissing me off. My Dh will deployed a few short weeks after DS is born. I am originally from Florida and we are now stationed on the west coast. I am going to be on a watch list for ppd because i have hx of depression and the fact i will be suddenly a single mom with a 4 week old. So this is what is making me mad: All my friends in Florida keep saying how easy it would be for me to just come stay down there while he is gone. They dont see any issues with me getting on a plane with a newborn, flying across the country, not having a place to stay other than hotels, or in someones cramped apartment, not having all my baby stuff, missing baby dr appointments, etc, etc, etc.......

We have invited a couple of my closer girlfriends to come out here, but I havent heard answers yet. It is just driving me NUTS that these people dont realize how difficult it would be for me to come stay down there and they keep pushing the issue even though I have said I am not comfortable with it!!!  

UGH ok. Vent over. 


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Re: Petty deployment/newborn vent

  • mrskinsler04mrskinsler04 member

    Boo! Friends can kinda suck sometimes but I'm sure they all mean well. I totally get where you are coming from though. Just because I go home to see family for a couple of weeks doesn't mean I feel "at home".

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  • pesci12pesci12

    It's not petty - it can be tough when you don't feel at home and you don't have a good support system.  It sounds like your friends are trying to help you out.  If they or family can't come visit, just remember to sleep when LO sleeps. 

    DH is deployed right now and I stayed put.  For me, it's easier because DD is 16 months and we have a good routine.  And to be honest, my family would stress me out more than help as sad as that sounds. 

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  • sami1784sami1784 member
    I can relate - DH left for the mob station when LO was 2 days old and left for overseas when LO was a month old - LO is 4 months old now.  I live over 3 hours from my family, but I do have my inlaws just up the road here.  When LO was born, my parents offered to fix up a bedroom at their house for LO and me, so we could stay 3 or 4 weeks there.  I quickly thanked them, but declined the offer - just because I would be in my childhood home doesn't mean that I would feel "at home".  I'm more comfortable in my own house where my things and LO's things are.  When I go visit for a weekend, it's like packing to move - I don't even want to imagine packing for a 2 or 3 week visit!

     So there's this boy. He kinda stole my heart. He calls me "Mom"

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  • Princess FireballPrincess Fireball
    I moved back with my parents from CA to NY. I had LO in NY and switched Drs at 38 weeks. For as many pros I have being here there are just as many cons. I have 4 more months...4 long months before I go home to CA.
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  • GreenFlamingo7GreenFlamingo7 member
    When LO was 1 week old I packed up our suitcases and we went to stay with DH in a hotel (he was TDY) for a month. We had a pack n play, bathed baby in the sink, and I did a load of laundry every day for LO's stuff. Honesty...it wasn't that bad at all. Flying with a newborn is easy because they sleep the whole time generally. If I had the choice in your situation between staying on the west coast and sucking it up by myself, or flying with baby somewhere with friends and family, I would totally fly and go visit. I've now flown with LO across the country several times by myself- it's totally doable.
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  • LeahCKLeahCK member

    I can relate to the irritation. I wouldn't like it either and it would totally suck to try and fly with a new born. I don't want to travel for a few years after with baby.

    One thing I learned is that I was totally NOT aware of all of the logistics of having a baby and was totally thoughtless as a friend just because I didn't know. Tell them. It's ok. They won't take it personally, they prob just truly are unaware and I bet they'll have more empathy and fly out.  

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