Question from PAIF- Maternity Leave

mainesmichelle · January 2012

Hello Ladies,

I post on PAIF, but have a question that I think you will be better to help me with.. How long did you ladies take for maternity leave? I do not plan to take the entire 3mths b/c I will be allowed to work from home. My division is a start up for my larger company and for me to be out of pocket for 3mths would be really hard- I knew this when I took the job in Nov so I am ok with it.

Long story short... these are my questions.

1, What do you suggest the min weeks I take where I am completely out of pkt- I was thinking only 3-4 weeks. Is this crazy?

2. Did any of you ladies not file for FMLA/short term disability? I am thinking of just using my vacation (it will be used anyway) for the few weeks and skip over that process completely.

3. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

TIA,

Michelle

swgal · January 2012

3-4 weeks sounds crazy to me! That's great that you will be able to work from home, but in the early days I promise you will be exhausted. My daughter was always a good sleeper, but I was still up every 3-4 hours for about 1 hour at a time in the night for 5-6 weeks. Sure the baby will sleep a lot during the day at first but that is where you play catch up! Daily naps were my lifesaver during the early months. Not to mention the fact that your body is recovering from some pretty serious work. You need to take the time to rest and recover properly.

I had a different maternity policy so I can't speak to FMLA. I would give yourself a few months to settle into a good sleep routine and fully recover from the birth.

njdcgirl · January 2012

Congrats on your pregnancy! Here's my experience:

1. My story is a little different, b/c my son was a preemie, and in the NICU for 4.5 months. Physically, I could have gone back to work probably by 4 weeks, maybe even 3 weeks (I had a c-section) but since DS was in the hospital I wasn't dealing with caring for a newborn on top of healing - that could change a lot, especially as a first time mom, sleep deprivation, getting used to b/f (if you are doing it). I'd say 4 weeks minimum. I'm not sure what your daycare arrangements are going to be when you go back, but if you are using a center they usually don't take babies until at least 6-8 weeks old.

2. My company required me to use our STD/FMLA concurrently, and then the 2 weeks maternity leave the company gave me, and then my vacation. I know each company/state is different, so you probably want to check with this one. I don't think I could opt out, but I never checked into that b/c I needed/wanted it. (My STD paid me 100%, so I definitely wanted to take advantage.) The filing process for me was easy - one phone call to HR, and I think one more with the STD folks. I think I had to fill out a form when he was born (usually that would be done before you go out, but he came early and unexpectedly!) Why do you not want to use this?

Good luck - and hope you find a solution that works for your job and for you as a new mom!

krissyh21 · January 2012

I was on bedrest for 8 weeks before delivering my son. I returned to work (on a part time bases) at 6 weeks PP. I am not sure I could have done it earlier, but my job requires me to be on my feet all day and I had a 3rd degree tear, that took over 6 weeks to heal.

My situation is a bit different, since I didn't take home my baby until 14 days after his birth, but I did need the full 6 week recovery time. Not only for healing physically, but your emotions can be all over the place for a while after too. Since you are working from home, it may be a little easier, but returning to work and leaving your baby in the care of another is never ever easy. You do have to do what you need to do though. I would give yourself at least 6 weeks though - some births can be pretty rough and at 3 weeks I couldn't even walk without being in pain.

desabean · January 2012

I took the entire 3 months and plan to do so again even though only half of it will be paid this time around. I was still pretty crazy by the 3-4 week mark. Things got a lot better for me (where I could actually put the baby down long enough to take a shower) at the 6 week mark. Every baby is different and mine was on the fussier side but not too bad. However, I was amazed by how little I was actually able to accomplish while on leave. I expected to work on ceu's and be able to work out during nap time....but my kid would only nap on me or in the car so, it was hard. As for fmla, I'm not sure why you wouldn't file for it unless you think you will need it again during the same work year and want to save your time. It is a protection for you. However, if you just started your job in november, you are probably not going to be eligible. You need almost a year of work at the company to qualify. But if you are eligible I would do it and most companies would probably make you do it if you are out longer than a certain length of time. Sorry about phone formatting and typos.

Radler · January 2012

I was in school and not working when I had my son, so you can take this advice with a grain of salt....

I went back to class one week after giving birth, and took exams 3 weeks after giving birth. It was incredibly hard, and I don't think school, even exam period, is nearly as challenging as a full time job. I managed, though.

That said, I have a few ideas of how to make it work: 1) can you get a night nurse to help with night wakings? Your baby will most definitely not be sleeping through the night at 4 weeks, and getting good sleep at night would probably help you if you have to work from home during the day, and 2) definitely get someone to help clean your house, do laundry, all that, even if it's just a family member. And 3( Are you planning on having child care when you work from home, or just winging it? I thought I could study when my newborn slept .. Not so much. He was very wakeful from day 1. DH was able to help a LOT, I couldn't have cared for DS and worked at the same time.

Good luck!

Eriksgal · January 2012

My advice...take the full amount of time you can. Talk to your HR because you may have to take FMLA or mat leave depending on their policies. I would not use up my vacay time to help them out! You won't get this time back to spend with your new baby and I promise your job will survive without you there. If you do go back earlier I would not over commit to anything-just promise 2 hours a day max.

gringa78 · January 2012

I went back to work at 6 weeks. I had absolutely no maternity leave - I just happened to have DD during the summer and I am a professor. Most professors I know do not have maternity leave...you just find a way to cover what you need to cover and work from home and/or don't get paid (I was still working from home during those 6 weeks PP). If you think ahead, you can get short-term disability insurance. I'll be doing something similar with this pregnancy...I have some things covered for the end of the semester and will return to work as soon as possible.

Would it be great to have maternity leave? Absolutely. Did I survive not having it? Yes, it can be done. It certainly wasn't any fun being back at work with a rectovaginal fistula though. That was worse than anything. I squeezed that surgery in at 13 weeks PP. I pumped, but pretty much lost my milk by 4 months and gave up BF-ing at that point. It is what it is. The working world still has a long way to go when it comes to women.

KYRN · January 2012

It really depends on the flexibility of your job and the hours that you need to be available to work. If you just have a certain amount of work to be done and can do it when you can throughout the day then you might be ok going back early. I would still file for fmla, this protects your job and you can take as much or as little of the time off that you want.

If you have a std policy I would use it and at least get your 6 weeks with some part of your pay, with most std policies you have to use a certain amount of your vacation first before the policy kicks in, at some companies you may then use your remaining vacation to supplement your std percentage up to the full amount of your pay.

jcath · January 2012

Hi MM! I can't believe you are getting so close!

I think alot of women think they are going to be able to work from home with an infant and most find it really difficult. It all depends on how easy your delivery is - how quickly you heal, what your babies temperment is etc.

So if you have to be working - which is understandable - you will need to have help. Are you talking about working full time or just checking emails? You won't be able to do any calls unless someone else can pick up a screaming baby. It would also help to have some nightime help so your brain actually works

I would try to wait at least 6 weeks to be working on an every day basis with a sitter or family help. You can check emails and return calls some before that - but its harder than you think

Good luck - I'm headed back to work on Monday!

naflmj · January 2012

I think 6 weeks is more realistic. I felt fine after a week or so but the sleep deprivation really can get in the way of normal work activities, even if you are working from home.

I didn't file FMLA or STD because I hadn't been at my work long enough to qualify. However, I was entitled 8 weeks (unpaid) per my contract so I didn't have to worry about it. If you qualiy for STD, I'd take it since you'll get some additional pay. FMLA, depends if you plan to extend past your vacation time, if you do I would file because you want your job protected.

ohiostategal · January 2012

You have gotten lots of info already, here are my thoughts.

1: Really up to you and your situation. I was no where near able to start thinking about work at 3-4 weeks. Not even close.

2: You won't qualify for FMLA until Nov if that is when you started, unless you already worked for the company in another job. if you do qualify, why not take it. The process is not a big deal at all for pregnancy, you OB just does the paperwork. The point of FMLA is to protect your job while you are gone, so I don't see why you wouldn't do that unless you think you might be sick later. However, most companies require that you use it along with sick days to keep employees from doing just that. STD depends on the policy on when it is available, but that would be completely up to you, that pays you while you are out so I would want to use it if available.

3: you said working form home some, will you have childcare? I started working from home a limited amount for a little while after DS was born (think maybe 8 hours a week). I had my mom coming up to watch DS so I could work and it was still hard to get stuff done. If you are in the house and LO gets fussy you want to be with them. I can't imagine getting anything done if I didn't have someone watching DS. He wasn't a great sleeper at all so when he napped I just fell onto the couch in exhaustion. I didn't get anything done.

All that said, I wouldn't have been able to start working as soon as you are planning. But your situation might be completely different. If it were me, I would plan on being out the max amount of time and if things look possible after baby arrives, go back early. I would not want to be stuck having to go back early though because I told them I would.

gringa78 · January 2012

I agree with jcath...instead of "sleep when the baby sleeps" it becomes "check email when the baby sleeps". There isn't much sleeping for mom when you're working from home.

Mrs.Reem · January 2012

You really should consider filing for FMLA to protect your job. There's no reason not to. It's kind of important if it's an option for you. Generally you'll want a minimum of 6 weeks to recover. Six weeks to focus just on your baby is important as well. Dividing your attention between a newborn and work isn't as easy as it might sound. Best of luck!!

Dragonfly1226 · January 2012

Hi!!! I love seeing your ticker

I took a little over 3 months leave when I had P. I went back to work (as a teacher) for the last 6 weeks of the school year and then decided to stay at home this year. At 3-4 weeks PP it was still incredibly difficult to get myself together enough to go anywhere. My hormones were just calming down, but I was still pretty emotional. I think it would have been difficult to go back to work that soon. The earliest I would even begin to consider would be 6 weeks. It was next to impossible to get anything done during the day when I was home alone with P. He wouldn't nap anywhere but in my arms, and he couldn't stay awake longer than an hour at a time. If you are planning to get work done from home, I would definitely have someone come over to help with the baby as well as cooking, cleaning, etc. It's not that it is impossible to return to work so early, but it is hard to predict how you will feel about things now. I would give yourself as long as financially possible before going back to work. Good luck!!!

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