Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: Help! What to call non-bio mom?
We wanted to go mom (DW) and mommy (me, bio) but Ky calls DW dada. I am sure as she gets older it might change and not everyone is comfortable with that but it makes DW happy.
We also have twin boys and in the beginning we interchanged mom/mommy and thought they would figure out what to call us.
When they started calling DP "other mom" we changed to Mom (her - (non-bio) - though it is inconsequential in this) and Mommy (me). If they want one of us specifically, they use Mom/Mommy - but if they don't care or if DP isn't around, they call me Mom.
I think once kids are "too old" for mommy or Mama, they are old enough to come up with their own solutions.
I had also heard of "Maddy" which i think is cute. Or Baba.
sahm ~ toddler breastfeeder ~ cloth diaperer ~ baby wearer
my wife is Mommy and I'm Mama. he still calls both of us Mama because his speech is still very much developing, but he knows which of us is which. we'll see what he does once he can really differentiate with speech.
we have twin girls they are only 6month but we go by Mommy (me) and Mama (biological Mom) it was mainly because people did not know how to refer to us ... Now they know .. I am Jewish and my dad is isralie so I am toying with having the girls call me IMA eventually ... We refer to our selves ad "THE MOMS"
Lots of names and languages to choose from ..
Mama
Mommy
Meema
Meemo
Mum
Mummy
Ima
Moddy ( mix of mom daddy I believe)
Maddy (same as above)
Madre ( spanish)
omma ( i think german)
anya ( hungarian )
MOTHER LANGUAGE
MA
Mame
our Blog -http://dosbabies.wordpress.com/
9 IUIs = 9 BFNs
IVF October 2012: 22 eggs retrieved, 17 fertilized, 5 frozen
ET #1: 1 blast = BFP; Blighted ovum discovered at 7w5d; D&E
FET #1: 1 blast = BFP; Missed m/c discovered at 9w5d; D&E
Karyotyping: normal ~ RPL Testing: normal ~ Hysteroscopy: normal
FET #2: 1 blast transferred 10/25; BFP 10/31!
EDD 7/13/14 ~ Induced at 37w4d due to pre-eclampsia ~ Born on 6/28/14
*Everyone welcome*
I'm Mama/Mommy/Mom and my partner is Mimi. That works and is different enough from mama/mommy. Another couple also uses Mama/Baba but our sweet pea calls her bottle "baba" still. Mimi is also quite close to my partner's name.
Hope you all have a great weekend!
my oldest interchanges mommy/mom/mama for us, especially if there is only one of us around - if he needs to clarify he'll call us 'Mommy Firstname'
My toddler calls me mommy and my wife mama (previousy she was dada).
My littlest isnt talking yet, but i'm pretty sure she calls my wife gaga
Basically we let the kids call us whatever they wish as long as its respectful.
Blogs: Our Growing Family - CT Working Moms
CT help me figure this issue I have out as you seem to be the one who can shed light on it ....... I just cant get over my child calling me Mommy Jay ... and I will say the thought of this makes me cringe. The reason for me being - How many children of heterosexual couples do i know that call their mommy (first name ) or Daddy (first name) and also because i knew if I ever wanted to piss my parents off I would call them by their first name and that was ( to me and them ) one of the most disrespectful thing I could do ...Ironically at Christmas M's brother was visiting with us and called their mom by her first name and she nearly got up from her chair and smacked him and very STERNLY said its MOM to you ! hahah which I agree but I have a hard time with the MOMMY/MAMA first name. and I always thought it was just my parents who had issues with the first name bit but recently i see it affected M's mom also ... does it feel weird to you at all when they say MOMMY (firstname) at all or did it ever?
- thanks
J
our Blog -http://dosbabies.wordpress.com/
This made me laugh... I remember when LO was an infant, we used to confuse our names all the time too. Now she calls us by the correct names and we always get it right
. Our families have finally cauight on too although it took a long time!!! LOL
Random thoughts that may or may not help:
I am 31 and still mostly call my mom "mommy". Sometimes I call her "Firstname Mommy" to differentiate her from my sister who also goes by "mommy" these days. Only very occasionally does it occur to me most people think this is funny/cute/not age appropriate.
Kids are good at figuring out their own solutions to the naming issue. My mom really wanted to be called "grandma" by her granddaughter, but little A had other ideas and called her "Manga". It stuck and I'm pretty sure my kids will call her Manga too. Little A has no idea what any of these names mean - her three grandmas are "Manga", "Nonna", and "Bibi" and I'm pretty sure she thinks all three words mean "people who I get to visit who spoil me".
AMH 0.5, AFC 5-8, FSH 7ish
IVF #1 - antagonist. Empty follicle syndrome. 1 retrieved, 0 fertilized.
IVF #2 - antagonist. Ovulated early. 3 retrieved, 2 fertilized, 0 blasts
*Visiting from TheNest*
We do not yet have children but we have already decided when we do, I will be Mama and my DW will be Mimi. Her name is Amy and all the kids I have ever watched (i'm a nanny) have always called her Mimi. I think it's just cute
I linger over here a lot and I figured i'd chime in
LOVE this
I miss the L word! We loved that idea but with 2 names that start with A we can't do mama A and mama A lol.
Nope, for a few reasons...
a) its a perfectly practical solution to the issue
b) he actually has 3 moms (well, 4 if you count his previous foster mom) and at some point including first names is just easier than trying to keep mommy/mama/mom/ect straight all the time
c) I never necessarily expected him to call me "mom" at all. I introduced myself to him as "Miss Firstname" which he chose to change to "Mommy Firstname" on his own
Blogs: Our Growing Family - CT Working Moms
ok so yes I see the practicality and this makes sense in that situation - but if the situation was different and he only had 2 ( you and your DW) does that change it for you or make a difference?
Thanks
our Blog -http://dosbabies.wordpress.com/
I've been thinking about it and cant really come up with a situation where I wouldn't be okay with it. I mean, its just a name - a label - and children dont see it nearly as much of an emotionally-charged thing as we do.
I can see where it may be a little off-putting at first, but whats more important to me is allowing my children the space/trust/opportunity to decide what its right for them. And not just in coming up with a name for me, but in everything possible (in a blink, they are going to be calling all the shots and I'd rather them have a lot of experience doing it w/ me by their side before they are doing it on their own!). I still just see it as a perfectly reasonable solution to the issue.
Also, respect is a very important thing in my house...and trust me, my kids calling me 'Mommy Elise' doesnt deminish an iota of the respect they have and show for me.
Blogs: Our Growing Family - CT Working Moms
I love the name Elise. Lol
We don't have kids yet but with our fur babies we're Mommy (her) and Momma (I). It wasn't hard to decide because I'm from the south where we say Momma instead of Mommy and that never changes and my wife, even though she's 23 and her mother won't speak to her she still calls her Mommy, which I'll admit, I find odd but whatever.
I can say go to mommy and our husky goes to J and if she says go to momma shel'll come to me
I also go by Mommy (bio-mom) and my partner goes by Mom. I figure that the girls will come up with their own names for us soon enough
ps. Congrats on the boys! Twins are awesome
Does it not matter how heterosexual parents have their children address them either, since 50% (or more) of heterosexual marriage ends in divorce? Get real and stop spreading hate.
Thank you Taylor .. and ditto STOP SPREADING HATE
our Blog -http://dosbabies.wordpress.com/
A. Speaking against people (for no apparent reason) in a negative way is spreading hate.
B. Please show us the evidence that same sex relationships have a "much higher rate of separation," because I don't buy it for even 1 second.
C. 2 moms can be on the birth certificate. It's called second parent adoption. Once that is finalized, a new birth certificate is issued with both PARENTS names on it. Therefore they have equal rights to the child, same as any straight couple.
D. If you're so worried about kids being "[set] up for a lifetime of ridicule by having them announce they have 2 moms," then maybe you should be using your time to teach tolerance and love to people (like yourself) who are spreading hate---See letter A above.
In the future, please do your research before sounding off on topics of which you're not educated. End of story. Thanks!
it wasnt hate, but your just acting like a self righteous beotch. gay people want nothing more than to be accepted yet all they whine about is how they are treated differently. maybe if you'd stop trying to make everything a gay "right" there wouldnt be any issues. i feel sorry for any children you bring into this world...its disgusting to force a child to live a life they will be ridiculed for. cant wait for this gay trend to be over with...