Ladies who are waiting awhile to get pregnant again

MissLadyTay · December 2011

Is your family driving you bonkers??? Or is it just mine? I had some pretty serious complications with baby boy. When we start trying again I'm going to be on massive doses of Lovenox from the start thanks to a blood clotting disorder. It took us six months to get pregnant, and if i have to have stomach injections for six months of failed cycles .... Well, let's just say I'm not looking forward to it. Not to mention Lovenox is insanely expensive, so we are going to have to save up. Despite all this, I'm under a barrage of people telling me to get pregnant now and "get it over with." MH and I never planned to have our kids super close in age for the precise reason that we want to treasure each baby's babyhood. We are in our twenties, so I like to think we have some time. But we attended a party over the weekend and had at LEAST twenty people surround us, giving us all the reasons why we should have them close in age. None of those "reasons" appeal to us at all, but now MH is saying "maybe we are wrong. Maybe we should start trying." I told him we'll start trying when he is ready to give me a shot twice a day. He dropped it. Maybe I'm hormonal or something but I'm just feeling frustrated. I do want more children, but I love having one for now, and I love that he's not going to have to compete with a sibling for our attention for awhile. Normally I'd shrug off what other people think but people are SO opinionated that the way THEY spaced THEIR kids is the BEST way that I'm second guessing myself. Anyone else going through similar pressure? Is it driving you bonkers?

StarJay · December 2011

We're blessed in that our parents spread their kids out be several years (4.5-6 yrs), so they just assume we'll be doing the same. DH and I are thinking we'll start TTC when LO is 2ish, so if anything we'll be getting flack for having them "so close together." Then again, both my parents and the ILs thought we were too young to be starting our family to begin with, despite the fact that DH and I are closer to 30 than not.

I've decided when it comes to babies and family, we'll just never do it quite right to please everyone. In the end as long as my kid(s) are happy, healthy and loved, the rest is no one else's concern.

maddie789 · December 2011

Not at all... but we went through several cycles of fertility meds and three years of trying before getting pg with DS, so they know it is a potentially sensitive subject. How annoying that you have to deal with that though!

Nanna · December 2011

It frustrating for sure. The truth is that no matter what side of the spacing fence you fall on, you'll hear from people you're going about it all wrong. That's certainly been the case for us and as you can see, we spaced our three very close (intentionally). You and your DH have your sound reasons for what is right for your family. Don't let anyone else try to change that for you - you guys know what's best for you!

Twirple · December 2011

Before we had DS, my Mom was the worst at pressuring us. She's had a 10th birthday card for a granddaughter since 6 months before DH and I got married, and we were married 3 years before we attempted to get pregnant. Thankfully, with Chase, she is content, for now. I figure in two years she'll start up again. We want to have our kids three years apart, so that should be timing it right.

shaindelr · December 2011

Our families haven't met Liam yet, so there's no pressure for more kids since they're still waiting to see this one :-) We're spending one day with them in March because there's a writers' conference in Chicago, so I took a personal day after it's over to see them. I was afraid more than one day with them would make me crazy.

Posts like this make me glad I haven't seen my parents since 2006. I'm nervous just thinking about it.

You should just come up with some standard sort of answer. Ask if they're paying for the next one or something.

chelle1980 · December 2011

I think it is annoying when people (even family) ask when you are going to get pregnant. For all they know, the person could be having a hard time getting pregnant or could have recently suffered a loss. I just think people should keep their opinions to themselves. I was married for 7 years before getting pregnant and was hounded about when were we going to have a baby. We wanted to buy a house and have a good savings first so we waited. Luckily everyone is happy with DS and have not asked about number 2. I think you need to do what you feel is best for your family. You will know when you are ready to start trying for another child. I think there are positives for having babies close in age and spacing them out so no decision is wrong. My plan is to start trying when DS is 2.

LadyXaverian · December 2011

Thankfully, no. We've had a couple of people ask "if" we'll have a 2nd (the answer is "maybe in a few years") but no one pressuring us to have one sooner.

I think they're just so thrilled we had one since for 7 years we told them we never planned to have any. They probably don't want to rock the boat. ;-)

JenniCollins · December 2011

We get this all the time, our standard answer is we don't want two kids in college at the same time so we are going to start TTC again when Chloe is 3.

My poor SIL get's it every 5 seconds now that we've had Chloe, they aren't sure they'll ever have kids and it's driving them nuts that people bug them constantly about it. Why do people think its ok for them to pressure you to do something this life changing?

Ciaram22 · December 2011

My family is driving me bonkers but in the opposite way. They are all worried that any future children will have the same issues that Edmund has and they think that we shouldn't have anymore children because of that. I've told them to shove it on more than one occasion. It is our decision and not theirs.

Twirple · December 2011

Ciaram22:
My family is driving me bonkers but in the opposite way. They are all worried that any future children will have the same issues that Edmund has and they think that we shouldn't have anymore children because of that. I've told them to shove it on more than one occasion. It is our decision and not theirs.

I would tell them to shove it too. That's just horrible. Edmund is adorable!

SixPlease · January 2012

I totally agree with Nanna. People are FOREVER shoving their opinions onto others when it comes to anything parent related. I don't get it. I mean you can have someone who is an alcoholic or addicted to drugs and mum is the word, but once people find out you're pregnant, it's a whole different ball game- all of a sudden even people who have never even had any children are experts on all the best ways for you to do things. As long as you're not hurting your children, it's totally about what is best for you. I'm sorry that you're getting so much pressure to conceive again- my husband and I are actually going through the exact opposite! I *want* to conceive again-NOW-(lol), and EVERYONE is telling us to wait like two years, and we're in for a lot of trouble if we do it too soon, and once they come out you can't put them back (duhhhh), etc. Maybe just have a pow wow together and hash it out on paper, then you can come to a solid decision between the two of you and feel secure in that decision because you talked about all the different aspects?

Ladies who are waiting awhile to get pregnant again

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