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Babies: 9 - 12 Months
CupcakeKaper
member
Please help me with my nocturnal baby (long but I'm desperate)
CupcakeKaper
member
Kelsy has STTN maybe 10 times since she was born. Her norm from about 8-10 months was getting up once or twice a night...but for the past month or so she has been up all freakin' night! I started counting...one night she was up 5 times, once she was up 7 times! She isn't hungry, but wants to comfort nurse. I used to get up, nurse her, and put her back to bed...but now for whatever reason the second she sees her crib she starts screaming like a banshee.
So last night we decided to let her CIO while checking in on her at 5 minute intervals. We have never had to do this before because once or twice a night was never a big deal to us, but 5 - 7 times obviously is. So anyway...last night she went to bed at her normal 7:30 bedtime and woke up at 10. We let her cry for a few minutes, went in to check, gave her back her paci, put covered her back up, and left. But every time we went in she got madder and madder. So at one point we said let's quit going in there if it keeps ticking her off so bad. And the screaming and crying just go more and more intense. I've never heard her cry like that. Ever.
So the weak parents that we are, we finally gave up at 1:30 and brought her into bed with us so I could nurse her. I didn't even pull out the boob, the second she got to our bed, she was calm and closed her eyes to go to sleep.
So my question is...what would you do? I don't think she's teething or that anything is wrong, she's been fine other than this. I have two other boys trying to sleep...as well as us...and obviously she's a bear if she hasn't had her sleep. We need to get her sleeping better. I am at such a loss as to what to do and so frustrated!!! Help me please! And free cupcakes if you made it this far.
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Re: Please help me with my nocturnal baby (long but I'm desperate)
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What would I do? Honestly? If I had tried everything? Half a dose of tylenol. Seriously. Isla is cutting teeth and she'll be fine one minute and a baby Emily Rose the next. We keep her routines consistent but no one knows when she's going to cut a tooth or have a fever because of it. Little bit of tylenol and I rock Isla for 30 minutes and she's calm. This is not an every night thing but a last resort when everything else I know to go has gotten me no where and my sanity is threatening to leave me.
Another suggestion, you said as soon as she's in your bed she's out? My thought is it's your pillows and sheets. They smell like you. She finds immediate comfort in where she knows you are. If you have a flattened pillow on your bed that you aren't using put it in her crib, take your shirt off that you wore that day and lay it down like a sheet in her bed. Those smells of you calm her. Think of it this way. When you're nursing her I bet you see her throwing a fit. You bring her to your breast and the smell of her mother combined by your warmth is instantly soothing. Bring her some things that can comfort her to her crib that you've laid on, slept on, worn that day.
I saw Isla acting like this in her pnp next to our bed (Yep, huge Mommy fail, Isla doesn't have her own crib yet). I took one of my pillows and laid it down in her pnp, layered her blankets in the bottom, put her down and covered her with the puff quilt you made her. She was out in less than 5 minutes! Those basic comforts made all the difference. She has my pillow that smells like me, surrounded in soft blankets and she's a happy girl.
I hope this helps.
This is what our pedi suggested when went to his 6 month check. He was up all the time at night. If you always put your DD to bed have your DH do it. Sometimes they just want mommy to come back in. If she gets madder when you go back in don't go in. Let her CIO. If she wakes in the middle of the night do not go in. It took less than a week of this for us to get DS to STTN. It totally sucked listening to him cry in the middle of the night but everyone is much happier now!
For us, [when he wakes in the middle of the night,] we let him work it out on his own unless he gets louder or the crying persists. He never goes to sleep without a fight, so for us CIO is the norm. If we think he's teething we dose him with tylenol or ibuprofin, give hugs and comfort, then set him back down and leave. Also, we have a small, stuffed Mickey Mouse in the crib for him to play with so while he's winding down he has something to focus on. After his intital anger at being laid down wears off, he plays for a little bit and goes to sleep.
Cupcake, I wish I could help you. Henry has STTN maybe 5 times his entire life. And maybe only woke up once over night another 5 times? His norm is waking up 5-7 times a night, and needs to be comfort nursed every time. We have even had nights were he is up 8 times. So basically, I'm saying you are not alone.
Henry went through a phase where he started to hate his crib. Like just looking at it would cause him to scream bloody murder. CIO was a huge failure for us. He would scream for hours and hours on end. He never once fell asleep. At that point he would only sleep in our bed, but was still getting up.
That's when we moved to the No Cry Sleep Solution. We have been doing this with mixed results for two months. After a couple super long nights using the program we were able to get him out of our bed and into his crib. This way at least I get to sleep a little better when he does. However, it hasn't helped him sleep any longer yet (but to be fair, during this time he has cut 3 teeth, has 3 more coming, and has had two colds - not exactly the best time to sleep train).
If you want details about No Cry, let me know! And good luck, if you ever just need to talk, you know where to find me. ::big hugs:: I know how horribly frustrating this is.
First of all - you are not weak for going to get her. You heard your baby screaming for you and you responded - that's mama's instinct!
And what would I do...sleep with her. But I'm a bed sharer anyway so my answer is biased ;-) Honestly, it sounds like separation anxiety. Leaving her to cry isn't going to fix that and will only make all of you feel worse. If having her in your bed doesn't work for you, you could try to side car your crib or just put it in your room (or a pack and play).
It's a phase; it will pass!
Breastfeeding Counselor with Breastfeeding USA
Babywearing Guide ** Newborn Carriers
Cloth Diaper Guide
Safe Bed Sharing Info
Breastfeeding Counselor with Breastfeeding USA
Babywearing Guide ** Newborn Carriers
Cloth Diaper Guide
Safe Bed Sharing Info
We ended up bedsharing from very early on, and because of that, we all routinely get 9 hours of sleep at night. That part has been glorious. But, bedsharing has its own drawbacks. I would be, in theory at least, reluctant to start bedsharing at this point if you hadn't been. But, it may really be what she needs (and you, too! Sleep!)
So, I have no real suggestions except that, generally, bedsharing and comfort nursing has really worked for us.
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BFP #3 5/13/12 (Mother's Day!) | EDD 1/23/13 | Natural M/C 6/9/12 (blighted ovum discovered 6/7/12 at 7w1d)
"And to think when their little eyes opened, the first thing they saw was the face of Jesus."
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A slept in a RnP next to our bed for the first seven months but I always ended up taking him out and putting him in bed with us because he was waking 6+ times per night. When we decided to do CIO, we transitioned by stopping the bedsharing and having him sleep only in the RnP next to the bed, then moving him to a PnP in our room, then a PnP in his room, and finally to his crib. We had his Soothe and Glow Seahorse and blanket with us through the transition so that when he finally went to his crib, he had some familiarity. Of course, he was only 7 months at the time and separation anxiety was not yet an issue. Oh, and once she is moved to her room, have your husband get up and comfort her when she cries. Good luck!
Cupcake, we tried CIO more recently and it worked really well for two nights- less than 5ish minutes crying/fussing and he was asleep, but then he had one night where he just got more mad and more mad, and I told H this is it we are not doing it and pulled the plug.
I think for us, I realized that most of the frustration on his and my end was coming from me trying to put him to sleep when he wasn't tired. He would soothe in my arms, and kind of light sleep, but he wasn't really sleepy, so then I would attempt to put him down and it would start all over again. If he woke up in the night, I would try to nurse, but if he didn't want to nurse, I started just removing the situation from the situation, lol. Instead of me rocking him and fighting him to sleep, I would just bring him to our bed to play, which was a little hard for us because we didn't really want to play at 2a, we wanted to sleep, but I really think it helped. He would get a little comfort/cuddles and play with the remote or a toy in our bed, and then when his thumb went back up to his mouth that was our cue he was ready for bed again.
Once we stopped fighting him, it didn't take hours of rocking and broken backs to get him back to sleep, it took an hour or so of middle of the night cuddles. And then he started STTN again. I don't know if it was that he realized we were there for him in the middle of the night, so he stopped being afraid of waking alone, or if he was just going through some sort of phase and was through it and could sleep again. Either way, it was a lot less frustrating for us, and I actually started to like seeing him for a little bit in the night if he wouldn't go straight back to sleep. I know that we were nervous about it at first because we didn't want to encourage him to think it was playtime at night, but it worked for us, so it may be worth a try to see if it'd work for you.