i need y'all to help me think through this. we have not been thrilled with our daycare and are trying to find something else. i got a rec for a woman who keeps kiddos at home (and as it turns out is literally three blocks from our house AND quite a bit cheaper than our current daycare - score). we went by yesterday and got a really good vibe. i'm a bit nervous to make the jump but i think it'll be a better fit. plus its closer to home AND cheaper. so... what do i need to be thinking about that are different than a daycare facility?? (things like what happens if she's sick, etc).
and two things i want to bounce of y'all that have me hesitating just a little:
1. She keeps 6 kids (4 of them are 2+ so not many babies). would this bug you? i don't feel like i could properly care for that many children but for the 30ish minutes we were there i didn't feel like any kids were being neglected or not being properly managed but they were also super into visiting with us so it wasn't really a normal play time if that makes sense. she seemed to handle them all really well (and she's been keeping kids since '87 so quite experienced). i just can't imagine watching that many...
2. She doesn't keep a schedule. right now i think this is fantastic -- when DS is sleepy, he can nap, etc. this is one of our primary complaints with DS's current daycare. they are rude when DH brings him in at 11am for a few hours (despite telling us when we interviewed that it was no big deal). she's totally okay with DS being part time and coming/going whenever. BUT will i come to dislike the lack of schedule as he gets older though??
sorry this is a bit lengthy -- thinking outloud a bit
Re: going from daycare facility to in-home
1. Yes, that would bother me.
2. That would be a deal-breaker for me, but I'm in the camp of "babies/toddlers thrive on schedules/routines," so we're structured and try to stick to normal eating and sleeping times. But if that's not your vibe/philosophy, then it sounds like she might be a great fit!
Sparky is at an in-home daycare. There are 10 kids (only 3 under 1yr) with the owner and a helper and I never feel like he is being neglected. He loves them and they love him. He gets to interact with the older kids and they just dote on him. The little girls all think he is the cutest thing. Once he starts his BLW there, he'll be eating at the same time and place as they are and I think he'll learn from them, just like having an older sibling. He can't get that at a center in a room of kids just his age.
I don't get any written documentation each day of what he does, but I don't need any. The owner is his primary caregiver and she talks to me about what went on, her concerns, etc both in the morning and at night. She loves our cloth diapers and can't wait for me to give her the go ahead to let him do BLW there. Mess does not scare her. I don't think we could get that in a center.
She has a schedule for the older kids but the infants don't really have one. She just follows their cues for hunger and sleep. He sleeps WAY better for her than he does for me and has created his own schedule of sorts. She tries to keep it the same every day, but its different from the other infants. They don't all have to be on the same schedule. If I'm going to pick him up between 12 and 3, I have to call first because the toddlers might be sleeping, but she really has no issues with coming or going early or late. Heck, I think she'd keep him overnight all week long if I let her.
Her sick policies are the same as daycare (24hrs fever and med free), so that is no different.
We toured some centers but felt way more comfortable with him in a home. There is more personal attention (he was the ONLY infant at the time) and no turnover in caregivers. Ours is also way cheaper than a center. We feel like we won the childcare lottery.
Ditto. DS is ready to eat and sleep at around the same time each day and I feel strongly that it's what's best for him. I'm a very structured mom though as it relates to those things. Lack of structure/schedule for everything else wouldn't bother me though--like 11 am doesn't have to be craft time, they don't have to do the same activities each day or each week.
You just have to decide how much it matters to you and your child!
You could/can. Many centers accept cloth diapers, we're doing BLW at our center, and what child care facility in the world is scared by mess?
I grew up going to an in home daycare and loved it. There was always about 4-7 of us and I never once felt neglected. My mother ran an in home day care when I was around 6. She kept about 5 kids and never neglected one of them.
That being said, both the lady who watched me and my mother were schedule people for the older kiddos. We knew when it was time to play inside, nap, snack, lunch, play outside, craft time or whatever. I think thy is really important.
When either woman was sick they had backups. The lay that I went to had her sister or daughters come over. My mother would have my dad watch everyone.
The ones we visited seemed like they were on the surface ok with cloth, but would resent it behind our backs. I never asked about the BLW, but it seemed like they wanted every kid to do the same thing so I figured it wouldn't fly with all of them, especially if he's not actually eating and just playing. I grew up in the daycare my mom worked at and I know they would have scoffed at such a thing, but then again that was many years ago.
1. DS's sitter for the past 2 years has a kid breakdown like that, though she does have her husband around to help. It never really seemed to be an issue for me. The older kids were usually happy playing on their own & the babies got lots of love.
2. Eh, I guess this depends. Is she totally unwilling to do schedules for any kids or does she mean that she doesn't impose the same schedule on all kids? It could be that if you say - "Please feed him at 11, nap at 11:30, nap at 3:00, etc" that it would be fine.
Aw, boo for those centers! Our center requires that we give a totally individualized plan for the kiddo, and they follow our instructions to a T--food, naps, all of it. But we're really lucky in that DS is in a 1-1 (and sometimes 1-2) situation right now and can visit the other infant room for play time and socialization at any point. And it's been the same teachers there since my DD was an infant. I wish all centers were as accommodating!
I think its more of we don't impose schedules. everyone is different and days will be different. didn't sleep last night? well he might needs lots of naps, etc. but i definitely need to clarify now that i'm thinking about it more.
SarahPLiz -- we had the same problem. we toured several daycares that said CDing was okay (but it was obvious and one actually said well, we allow it but the teachers hate it). this caregiver CDed her kids in the 80s and was a La Leche League Leader... in her words "i was granola before it was cool to be granola" haha
1) No that doesn't scare me. My kids have only been in home daycares with higher ratios but no kids under 2. The no babies makes a difference. Both ladies had great control over the kids and I never felt she was overwhelmed. DS's current teacher cooked an entire thanksgiving meal for parents during the day while the kids were with her and they all helped.
2) This might bother me more. I think the reason why my kids teachers did so well with a larger number of kids was because there was a schedule and the kids did well what was expected and what came next. Now for babies, I don't think it's as big of a deal but once they become 2, I think a schedule works better.
Yea I haven't decided how i feel about that one. She is listed which I didn't realize until a few minutes ago does involve a background check (although I can't find on the website how frequently it is done) but not subject to inspections. Only registered and licensed homes have inspections.
From a caregiver perspective, if i always had plenty of kids to watch, i don't know that i'd hassle with being registered/licensed personally. But I do plan to ask her why she has chosen not the be registered/licensed and go from there I guess... my gut actually says its not a big deal having met her (and DH is not worried about it), but the rational side of my brain doesn't particularly like that she's not registered or licensed.
I think its more of we don't impose schedules. everyone is different and days will be different. didn't sleep last night? well he might needs lots of naps, etc. but i definitely need to clarify now that i'm thinking about it more.
If this is the case, I'd love that. I guess what would be important to me is that if y'all gave her a schedule and asked her to follow it, that she would.
Unless they've changed state laws, I don't think listed home centers can keep that many kids at one time. When I was watching kids, I'm 99% sure it said I could keep 4 kids that were not my own and could never have more than 12 in my care at any one time (the additional kids would be mine or possibly relatives, I'm a little foggy on the details). I'd definitely look into that if I were you.
I don't think there's anything wrong with not being licensed and just being listed - there still is a background check and you still have to follow certain state requirements. But she definitely needs to be following the rules if she's choosing to only be listed (pay less to the state/not as strict requirements/keep less kids) vs. licensed (pay more to the state/more requirements/keep more kids).
I just looked it up...here are the state guidelines, C&P'd from their site:
https://www.dfps.state.tx.us/Child_Care/Other_Child_Care_Information/childcare_types.asp#homes
1. Wouldn't bother me. My mom had an in-home daycare for most of my childhood and 4 of the children were her own. She kept more than 2 others and always seemed to have everything under control. She didn't yell or drink, so I don't really understand how she did it
, but I've never been a teacher/caregiver kind of person. My mom would bend over backwards to care for and help people (well, before she turned cray-cray in my adult years). Plus, your DS sounds like he will be part-time, so maybe some of the others are as well. Another thing is that you are a new mom to an infant and that is HARD. You have days you go into survival mode with just one child. When another/multiple babies come along, you will look back and laugh at yourself because "1 is so easy." She's been watching and raising kids a long time, so it seems like she knows what she's doing. Some people thrive in that environment and so do the children.
2. The no schedule wouldn't bother me. We always followed DCs' cues to set their own schedules anyway. Sure we would encourage certain activities at times, but they do so much growing and changing that this week they may need 4 naps a day and next week one 3-hour nap will do it. I think it's great that she follows the baby's cues and gives them what they need, when they need it. But, I also NEVER woke a baby every 3 hours to eat, so you can factor that in to my opinion - they'll wake when they are hungry... I do think a schedule for the older kids (2+) is important, though. I am more into "routines" (cleaning up toys and washing hands are cues that lunch time is coming, over OMG it's 11:02 and we are late having lunch!). When DD was little I watched another Nestie's baby for a while and had no trouble accommodating 2 babies' similar-but-not-the-same schedules. I also had no trouble accommodating any of the parents' wishes, should they have wanted me to wake to feed or something like that.
As long as she has had a background check, the place seemed safe, the kids seemed happy and well-cared for, I would go for it. I also love that she CD'd and was in LLL. She seems really devoted to caring for children.
One of the only things that turns me off about in home daycare is sick days/ vacation. If your day care provider has the flu for a week, that means you're staying home for the week, too. With a center, they will have subs/back up.
The other complaint I have heard from friends is that you are at the mercy of your provider when it comes to vacation (if she has a scheduled vacation during the year- some do, some don't). So, you might have a family vacay scheduled in June for which you need to take off work and then she might have HER family vacay scheduled in July, for which you need to take off work (again).
As for the # of kids, I didn't read the link that libby posted, but if it's legal and she didn't seem frazzled, I'd be ok w/ it.
Lack of schedule- if she were willing to work w/ y'all when you DID want a schedule, then it's no problem, really.
I don't have any personal experience with in-home care, other than from a friend. I referred her to a lady in the neighborhood that runs an in-home daycare and she's super nice. Everything on paper seemed perfect!
She ended up pulling her son and putting him in a center because there was too much tv watching going on and not enough instruction time. His language exploded when he got to the center and she's really glad she moved him.
I know every place is different but I really appreciate the oversight of a center, the reliability, the structure, the instruction, etc. With that being said, definitely do whatever you feel is best for your family.
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I personally wouldn't put him in a home daycare that wasn't setup to be like a pre-school but again your DS is still young so at that age you don't need it yet.
As for vacations, both teachers have told me at the beginning of the year when they planned on vacations so we made arrangement around that. DD's teacher was sick maybe 3x in the 4 years she was with her. DS's has back up teachers I feel comfortable with. DD's teacher had paid vacations so I paid the weeks she was closed too and we still had to pay if DD was out for a week. With DS's teacher she has paid holidays but not paid vacations. So when she takes a full week off, we don't have to pay that week. She also gives us a week vacation where we don't have to pay if our child will be out all week, we just have to give her notice.
Sooo... In a very long way, I'm saying each home daycare will be different. She may work now but not later. And you could decide to have him with her until 2yrs and then move him to a more structured setting.