Parenting after a Loss

This gets better, right?

Ugh. This morning B was whimpering as we went into daycare and full on crying by the time I set her down at the lunch tables for her morning snack. She grabbed her cereal bowl and flung it and its contents across the room. I sat with her for a bit and got her calmed down and eating her cereal, but the second I stood up to go the waterworks started again.

The teacher took her and was bouncing her and singing to her to get her to calm down.

Gah. This is no way to start my day each day and I feel so bad for my little girl.

BFP #1 9/23/09. Missed MC 10w3d D&C 11/3/09.

BFP #2 4/13/10. Bridget born 12/28/10

BFP #3 Finn born 8/11/15


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Re: This gets better, right?

  • Andplusalso, it's going to be an utter disaster when in a week we are keeping her home for the whole week because my ILs are coming to visit? We're going to pretty much just be starting from scratch again with any progress we make this and next week, right?

    :(

    BFP #1 9/23/09. Missed MC 10w3d D&C 11/3/09.

    BFP #2 4/13/10. Bridget born 12/28/10

    BFP #3 Finn born 8/11/15


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  • Have you called to check on her?  Usually when this happened with DD, it's heartbreaking to watch, but as soon as I left she was fine.

    Big hugs - I know it's hard to watch.. but it also does get MUCH better.

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  • ((hugs))

    It will get better, I promise.  Once B becomes friends with the "teachers" and her "classmates" she will look forward to going.  It will just take some time for her to become accustomed to the new environment and so many new people. 

    C was used to being dropped off by a year old because he was in DC since 9 weeks, but the first few days in the new room were painful.  Then his favorite teacher from the 8-12 month room moved over to the 1 year room and he has been fine ever since.  Once she becomes attached to someone, it will get so much easier.  It's still this way for us, if anyone but Ms. Daphne takes C from me in the morning, I can tell he's uncomfortable.  Luckily she doesn't miss work often.

    I agree with jay-tea, call and check on her.  It will likely put your mind at ease. 

    ((more hugs))  It's hard to be a working mom sometimes.   

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  • DD is really clingy and since transitioning into the 1's in Nov she's had a hard time. Most days she does not want to stay but I will say it's gone from full on screaming to just fussing. Today she did cry w/ tears but that's because Mrs J was out sick. She definitely likes her routine.

    Within a few mins she's fine but I do feel terrible - I hate starting my day that way. DH once dropped her off and it was way worse.

    Hopefully B adjusts quickly.

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  • :( I hope it gets better soon.
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  • Huge hugs.  I hope you've called and she's doing better.
    BFP 4/23/09. D&E 7/17/09 16W5D. BFP #2 3/10/10. EDD 11/15/10 Babycakes was born 11/5/10! Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • ((hugs))  No advice as DD is still home with us but I'm sure I'll be in your shoes soon.  I like PP's recommendation of calling to see how she's doing.  Hang in there.
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  • I see this frequently with the pre-k kids at school, especially the 3 year olds.  They will cry and throw fits when the parents try to leave, but 5 minutes later they are happily playing with their friends.  I'm thankful that C is home with DH during the day, but I know she'd be alright if she had to go to a sitter.  I'm sure B will be fine. 

    As for having a week off - you will probably have some regression.  I was just off for 2 weeks and DD threw a fit when I had to go back to work.  She tried to get her coat and take it to the door to come with me.  It broke my heart, but she's fine 4 days later.

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  • <<big hugs>> 
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  • ((hug)) sorry its so tough right now!
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  • It is SO hard to watch, but I promise that the waterworks most likely stop very shortly after you leave the room.  I spent a lot of time in DS's room when I was breastfeeding since I'd feed him when I dropped him off and picked him up, so I saw a lot of kids do this on dropoff.  They'd go from full-out tantrum/tears to happy/playing in about 30 seconds.  It made me feel so much better about my LO's crying to see this.

    My LO's separation anxiety comes and goes in phases.  When he's in a phase, Tuesdays are the worst day of the week.  Returns from vacations are also hard.  We have a short, matter of fact goodbye routine, and one of the teachers will hold him when I leave to calm him down.  There's a window that I can see back into on my way out, and he's usually stopped crying by the time I get to the end of the hallway.

    But it's still hard.  I get that.  I've totally started crying on my way out.

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  • ((HUGS)), mama.  I hope it gets better soon.

    Is there any way of convincing the ILs that it's not a good idea to take her out for the whole week?

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  • ((hugs)) Sorry you had a rough morning, hope it gets better for you both soon.
    BFP #1 5/9/10 - Missed MC detected and D&C 7/2/10 BFP #2 11/24/10 - slow rising, non doubling betas - MX shot 12/6/10 BFP #3 3/7/11 - beta @ 13dpo 63, beta @ 15dpo 183 - please be our take home baby! Alex born 11/13/11!
  • Poor little B.  I'm sure she will be fine in a few days once she gets used to the new routine.  Instead of pulling her out for that whole week, could you maybe do half days so you don't disrupt her too much and the family can be with her all afternoon?

     

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  • I'm so sorry. I hope it gets better!
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  • oh no, I also get the big fat tears and pouty lip already when he goes to gma's each day.

    I agree, that part sucks :(

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