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LGBT Parenting
ctbride08
member
PCP/TTC/ATP Wednesday
ctbride08
member
What's going on in your baby planning/making/rearing world this week? Struggle? Highlight?
QOTD: Let's talk nicknames - who has 'em in your family, how did they start, and what are they?
Blogs: Our Growing Family - CT Working Moms
This discussion has been closed.
Re: PCP/TTC/ATP Wednesday
The kids are so excited to back in school! Both came home with their Good Day Sticks yesterday. Honestly, I was a bit shocked since I figured Carter would be so excited to see his friends and out of the routine of school that he would be chit chatting all day. Go Carter! But evidently I wasn't ready for school since I forgot their backpacks this morning as well as their pillow and blanket for rest time. Oops.
We are still struggling with Carter's language (thankyouverymuch older kids in aftercare.) We don't allow "butt, stupid, idiot, jerk, etc" in our house and Carter says it over and over and over and goes to time out/looses privileges, etc over and over and over. Sigh.
And we are still working on Gray's tattling on every.little.thing. Carter does. We have a rule that unless they are being mean to each other or doing something dangerous/are hurt, they don't need to tell us. It is taking awhile to sink in.
QOTD: I started off calling them Doodlebugs which has transformed into Bugs or Bugs Bunny or Little Bugs. I also sometimes call them Graybugs/Gray James and CarterBear..
But for the last year +, the kids say they perfer to be called Airport Grayson (because he wants to work in an airport) and Little Baby Elf (and gets quite perturbed when I forget or Gray refuses to call him that! LOL.)
The whole "when are you having another child" thing is really bothering me lately. Why does everyone just assume there will be a second?
QOTD: K and I don't have names that lend themselves well to nicknames. We just call each other by our names or babe. DD has a variety of names, most of which incorporate some use of her first name or the first letter of her first name.
Gwen is wonderful and exhausting all at the same time! She's getting so much more opinionated and wants to do so much more on her own. Its great... I love watching her pick out her own outfits and try to brush her own hair, but man can it be frustrating sometimes too when she refuses to go along with something that has to be done. Thankfully things like counting to 3 (as a prep-time thing, not a threat thing) and just being consistent in routine still seem to work for the most part.
She really is my greatest joy though (which helps with some other struggles I'm having right now).
YES! Its hard when everyone is asking, to not feel like you are doing something wrong if you don't have a second.
QoTD: Well we have the obvious shortened versions of our names (Trav, Gwen, and Meg)... but we also do babe or hun for each other. For Gwen there's Gwenie, but I would also call her my silly goose sometimes, which becomes Gwenie Goose or Goosie. I also call her sweet baby a lot.
Maybe I don't have a heightened sense of smell, but I've never smelled any vagina on my pants. -- TSD
Bloggity Blog - You know you want to...
((hugs)) to Two and Meegs
Blogs: Our Growing Family - CT Working Moms
We had our long anatomy scan yesterday, and the babies are doing super-great, and Jen is doing super-great. Babies: Each 11 oz., placentas looking good, no cord problems, dividing membrane good, nothing of concern noted anywhere. Jen: Long and closed cervix, weight gain good, blood pressure good, no blood/protein/sugar in urine. Doctor was very pleased. She said it should be no problem for Jen to fly at 24 weeks for the move, or to go on a mini-babymoon later in the pregnancy as long as everything is still looking good. I feel very lucky, and more settled and less worried. Phew. Go babies.
Technically Jen is a nickname, but nobody ever calls her Jennifer. I call her J-Lo sometimes - it started as a joke (since her last name - not Lopez - starts with Lo), but then our friends and her coworkers picked it up. By the time we moved to DC it was pretty much permanent. This led our dog Pippin's nickname being P-Lo, which is even more stupid, but there you go :-D Our dog Lucky's nickname is Buddy. She probably thinks her nickname is Hey Buddy, since I say it to her twelve times a day.
We're 90% sure we're going to name the girl Margaret and call her Meg, so we've been calling her Meg. We are nowhere close to a decision on the boy, so I've been calling him Banjo as a joke. We're considering Gideon, and Banjo was listed as a "similar style" name in my baby names book. Really? Gideon and Banjo?
I don't have any nicknames. "Rach" never caught on.
Sprout was dreading going back to school (??) but his teacher reports he did okay yesterday. Hoping for a better report today. Its tough especially with everything else going on. We may be heading back to the therapist wiht him soon (we stopped going when he started K). RB is growing into such a big kid! I can't believe the conversations we have and the things she is able to do. The sass is still there, but I can actually reason with her now which makes all the difference. The sleep training we were doinig with Daisy last week? uh yeah, not taking. The paci is history but the night feedings just wont quit. i guess we'll try again in a month or two...::sigh:: In other news, she's heading up to the toddler room at school. which is craziness. I cant believe she's big enough to eat at a table and sleep on a cot! each one grows up faster than the last
QOTD: We've always had the strew of typical lovey dovey words for each other and the kids (honey, sweetie, babe, baby, peanut, bud, buddy, ect). Aside from that, we've always called Daisy by a common nickname of her full birth name (think Jen/Jennifer) - its just always seemed more *her*. Lately I've also gotten into calling her cakes (as in baby cakes). Since RB was about 18m she's developed the nickname bird or birdie (because she eats like a...) and it seems to be sticking. She even calls herself it on occasion or will get mad if I accidentally call her sister bird. "No! I mommy's birdie!" lol Sprout had a nickname when he came to us, but quickly decided he just wanted to go by his full name...but now he's jealous that the girls have nicknames so we'll see if he goes back. On occasion he asks me to call him peanutbutter
Blogs: Our Growing Family - CT Working Moms
I can't answer all of your questions, but I can tell you this... my brother and I are 7 years apart, and we are as close as can be. I adore him and visa versa.
Maybe I don't have a heightened sense of smell, but I've never smelled any vagina on my pants. -- TSD
Bloggity Blog - You know you want to...
I went in last Friday for a blood draw for RPL testing and have a consult scheduled with the RE in a couple of weeks. the results should be back in time for that, but unless the consult gets moved up (we're on the list to call if there's an opening) or everything comes back totally normal then I don't think we'll be able to try again this month because of timing. which is okay. I'd like to be ready to go this month, but it is what it is and it's kind of my own fault for putting off scheduling the consult and him not having an opening for over a month by the time I did.
other than that we're just rolling along. my baby's getting bigger and talking more every day it seems. no huge developments, but he's stringing a couple of words together which is good. oh, and he wants to sleep with a book every night. like, have it in his crib with him to cuddle with along with his stuffed monkey, haha!
QOTD: we both have nicknames. she never goes by her full name, hers is a standard shortened version of her name and most people mess up her full name anyway (they don't notice that extra A in there). mine is also just a short version of my name, sometimes doubled by my family, but most people just call me by my first name. we call the boy lots of stuff (Monkey, buddy, honey, etc).
CT - omg I love "peanut butter!" He is the cutest!
Struggle, party of one! LOL We are sleep training. IT. SUCKS. SUCKS. SUCKS. But I NEEEEEED my 20 month to SLEEEEEEP!!! I know I've b*tched about his sleep struggles here many a time. We had made some great progress a while back. End of summer I think? Where he was sleeping alone, in his room for nearly the entire night - I'd just have to go in early AM and nurse him and we'd sleep together some more.
Then teeth, teeth, teeth, illness and more teeth and his sleep got TERRIBLE. So terrible, that I was so tired when I was going in to help him get back to sleep, that I'd fall asleep with him, making him accustomed to me sleeping in his bed with him. But me sleeping with him doesn't even stop the frequent wakings. And I want to sleep the whole night in my bed!! Uninterrupted!!
So I am now helping him re-learn how to sleep alone. It is exhausting. We've been at it for 3 nights. 3 very long nights. I am hope hope hoping it only take a couple of weeks to get some serious progress. I talk to him all the time about how H will sleep in H's bed, and Mommy will sleep in Mommy's bed. And when he wakes in the night, I just go in and sit by his bed and put my hand on his back and/or shush or hum to him until he falls asleep. The first night he had two wakings - it took him over three hours to get back to sleep that second time. The second night, he only woke twice again, and we were awake for about two hours total in the night. Last night, it took less time to get him back to sleep, BUT he woke wayyy more times, never sleeping for more than 2hr 2mins at a stretch. Not. Fun. Hopefully that was a "getting worse before it gets better" situtaion. Sigh.
QOTD: C and I call each other babe or another silly made up name that was derived from when we used to call each other "muffin" lol. We call Henry, Hen, Henner, Henri (silent H), Enrique, Bubs, Bubsy, Bubsy Magee, Bubba and Mr Man, LOL
sahm ~ toddler breastfeeder ~ cloth diaperer ~ baby wearer
I think these are very real and reasonable questions to struggle with. But I get the sense that you still feel a lot of guilt about PPD and how it affected your relationship with DS, both from these questions and some past posts. Forgive me if I'm being too presumptuous, but I think you need to forgive yourself and your brain for saddling you with PPD with DS. It was a struggle, but you and he got through it and bonded and everything will be okay.
I've talked to DW a lot about my fears about my depression coming back, and I am always surprised by how much calmer she is about it than I am. It's not that she dosn't know how bad it could be, it's that she has so much more faith in my ability to get through it than I do. That's sort of what depression does to you - makes you feel like you can't handle things.
Also, FWIW, my sister and I are 4.5 years apart and I LOVED when she came into the family. I was old enough to love every moment of being a big sister, loved when mom let me help with the baby, loved that I could help make the baby happy, etc. We were also incredibly close when she was in middle school and I was in high school, which I don't think my mom ever expected.
AMH 0.5, AFC 5-8, FSH 7ish
IVF #1 - antagonist. Empty follicle syndrome. 1 retrieved, 0 fertilized.
IVF #2 - antagonist. Ovulated early. 3 retrieved, 2 fertilized, 0 blasts
I swear I had PTSD from reading this. Grayson didn't sleep through the night till 3.5y (woke every single night from 10m-3.5y SCREAMING) which is how why he slept with us at least some of the night every night.
I commend you for sleep training now..even though I know it SUCKS.
Mrs F - way to go tough mama!! I'm so impressed you stuck to the plan for 3 hours in the middle of the night! I would have (and have) given in after an hour, lol. perhaps thats why Daisy will still be night feeding in college?
Blogs: Our Growing Family - CT Working Moms
Well, just think...at that point she can go to the fridge by herself at 3am.
We are the house that sick built this week. Eli has a bit of a cold--but Lex has a double ear infection, plus pink eye, plus junky lungs that required a chest x-ray yesterday
She is on a nebulizer and it seems to be helping, but she is a sad pathetic little pumpkin these days. I have to admit I have been having a little bit of a rough time with her lung issue. I know logically that she is going to be just fine, but I don't know if I wrote about this here--Eli had tubes put in 2 weeks ago and went into respiratory arrest after the procedure. They were able to revive him and after an ambulance ride and a day and a half at children's, he is right as rain--no indication of brain damage; no indication of any lasting issues. I think this experience with him shook me more than I thought--because I am terrified that we are dealing with another breathing issue. *deep breaths*
QOTD--oh the nicknames, Kel is the queen of them. Eli has a ton, but my favorite is our pet family name for him: Mooch. Alexis is usually Lex, but she is also Alex, Lexie, Lex-i-frex, and oh so many more.
My sister and I are 6+ years apart (7 in school) and we are very close, much closer than many people I know and their siblings. My impression is that she was quite excited to have a baby sister when I was born, and I loved having someone so much older to look up to and guide me as I was growing up. Since college or so we've developed a more adult relationship as peers.
You can't predict all these things... I think you just have to make choices with best intentions in mind and somehow it will work out. You will have a different relationship with any future child than you have with DS, and that is not good or bad it just is.
IVF Oct/Nov 2012
Beta #1 = 77, Beta #2 = 190, Beta #3 = 1044
Cautiously optimistic.
Waiting for Provera-induced CD1 to hopefully cycle this month...
We both regularly go by normal nicknames of our given names, and have since childhood. We also have all kinds of silly nicknames for each other, mostly based on our actual names. I started to type some, but they seem sillier (and more identifiable as us) when typed so I'm going to pass.
IVF Oct/Nov 2012
Beta #1 = 77, Beta #2 = 190, Beta #3 = 1044
Cautiously optimistic.
TTC- Big Fat Effin Nothing...Again!!!! Uggg onto the backup plan (see post)
QOTD- I have a family nickname I hate....they call me Bonnie. My name is LaVonne. I was named after my granny and her nickname passed on too. The wife calls me honey and I call her melba. My whole famile has nicknames pretty much when DW and I talk about our future baby names we always think about the nickname to go with them.
I'm sending hugs to all of you mamas needing them this week...some big decisions and struggles going on for many of you!
Last night after dinner E and I got her homework done and her reading homework done and *still* had time to play with her squinkies cruise boat she got for Christmas! And this was after me getting home from work later than usual because traffic was extra special. I wish all nights could be so easy. I spend many moments now marveling at the awesome person E is becoming. She has quite a big heart and it warms me to see how sweet she is.
QOTD: Funny thing, E and I were just talking about her nicknames this morning! E's dad called her Boo when she was little and still does. I call her sweet pea, peanut, baby girl (though she is quick to point out she is not a baby!) and a shortened version of her first name.
What a bright and sweet reflection--love it!
Hugs there is nothing worse than your child not breathing. I am sure that was terrifying. I am so glad he is fine now. What bad timing with the nebulizer 2 weeks later. For what it is worth E has her nebulizer and it just becomes another thing we do when she is sick. It makes me feel better that we have it and as time has gone by we have gotten better and better at knowing when she needs it.
PCP: Big PCP news! We are having dinner with some couple friends of ours next week with the intention of asking if the husband would be interested in being a donor for us. OMG OMG OMG this is really starting.
Over the holidays we ended up explaining to three different groups of people how lesbian baby making works, and the pros and cons of known donors vs. sperm bank donors. And as we told people this story, it became pretty clear what our first move should be - asking the first person on our known donor list if he's willing to donate. We're very hopeful, but also trying to temper our excitement, as we know it's a lot to ask.
I think I mentioned that some switch flipped in C's brain and all of a sudden she WANTS A BABY. Over the holidays we held two brand new babies and played with my niece and I was FLOORED by this overwhelmingly nurturing side of my wife that has blossomed. It's not that she was a baby-hater before, but I think this is her really imagining what it will be like to have our own child.
Our original plan was to "table" the baby issue until March when we were settled in Chicago, but I think we're both willing to be flexible on the issue. Our potential donor lives in our current city, so we want to have the face to face talk while we are still here. And C is going to start charting her next cycle. There's still a lot to figure out - we still don't know the maternity leave policies of her new employer, or where I'll be working, or what health coverage options we have available to us, but we're working on what we can.
AMH 0.5, AFC 5-8, FSH 7ish
IVF #1 - antagonist. Empty follicle syndrome. 1 retrieved, 0 fertilized.
IVF #2 - antagonist. Ovulated early. 3 retrieved, 2 fertilized, 0 blasts
How scary! Breathing issues are very scary for both parent and child. *hugs*
AMH 0.5, AFC 5-8, FSH 7ish
IVF #1 - antagonist. Empty follicle syndrome. 1 retrieved, 0 fertilized.
IVF #2 - antagonist. Ovulated early. 3 retrieved, 2 fertilized, 0 blasts
THings here are poking along. E's sleep has been terrible since she got strep throat a few weeks ago. She wasn't sleeping in the days before they finally figured out what was going on. She slept great for a few days after she started antibiotics and then all went to the crapper and she has been fighting bedtime and then waking up several times a night. She used to go down without a fight at 7pm and would sleep without a peep until 6:30 or 7. Last night she went down at 8 and cried in her room until 9. Then back up at 10 for a drink. She woke up again at least two times last night. No fun. She was also sleeping in all last week until 8 or 8:30 which was nice for us but I think messed her all up. So MrsF we will be sleep training again ugh. As for TTC we are not really talking about it but I think our plan is to start TTC in about a year so either next fall of next winter. We will need to see the mfm before ttc to check and see what he says about dw's hypertension and pregnancy and to determine if she is our best option. The plan is for her to carry (always was) but it the doc doesn't think she would do well pregnant then we will look at me again which would be high risk but might be controllable with close monitoring and some daily injections. We shall see.
We have a ridiculous number of nicknames for us all. I call her nugget and she calls me bucket. E is little E, bumble bee or curly.
I didn't mean to sound flip or imply it would be easy. Forgiving ourselves, and forgiving our brains and our bodies for betraying us is VERY difficult. And taking the risk again is terrifying. And because you struggled so hard for your relationship with DS, the idea of upsetting that balance is one that would be hard to weigh. Thoughts of peace and clarity as you think this one through. It's not an easy decision at all.
AMH 0.5, AFC 5-8, FSH 7ish
IVF #1 - antagonist. Empty follicle syndrome. 1 retrieved, 0 fertilized.
IVF #2 - antagonist. Ovulated early. 3 retrieved, 2 fertilized, 0 blasts
Wow, lots of big hugs to all those needing them. And lnelson-- I don't know if you didn't mention it, or I just missed it, but I am so sorry you had to go through that with Eli, especially during such a "routine" procedure! How frightening!!
Update: Things are okay around our place. I've been sick (still the pneumonia) for nearly a month, after having had only 2-3 well weeks (pneumonia before that, too), and being sick all.the.time (while trying to work full time and take care of two almost-two-year-olds) is really wearing me down. That and my pp lack of bladder control, which makes coughing fits a whole new level of uncomfortable. Thankfully the kiddos got over their bout of viral pneumonia, and are doing much better.
We have been eating dinner at a table, together as a family, for a couple of weeks. It is *awesome* and really helping Little Man's eating issues. I think he might be discharged from EI at our eval in Feb, he's doing so well. Peanut has proved herself to be quite the little ham at dinnertime, which is so much fun. I get more eye contact from her at dinner than I do the rest of the day combined (she's a Mama's girl and goes to S for everything, but she sits across from me at dinner so she lets me in on her jokes).
I set up the kiddos toddler beds yesterday (well, converted their cribs), as the next step in the kids' transition to their room from bedsharing with us. They'd been sleeping in their room on their crib mattresses (on the floor, pushed together) since Christmas, but Peanut kept falling off hers so we thought some containment was in order. They seemed excited about their "big girl/boy beds" last night, and went to sleep well. They didn't sleep well overnight, though, and I missed not being able to just go in there and lie down between them to get them back to sleep. Oh well, baby steps, right? I have faith that STTN is somewhere on the horizon (it is, right?).
QOTD: S and I use "honey" or other silly/sweet nicknames for each other. We only use our first names when we're mad at each other. We call the kids by their first names (or a shortened version thereof) frequently, but even more frequently call Peanut "Peanut" and Little Man "Buddy." We didn't realize how much we used their nicknames until Peanut started calling HERSELF "Peanut" (she answers "What's your name?" with "Peanut!" and yells "Peanut's _______!" as she clings to whatever object she's trying to keep Little Man from getting). Oops!
IUI #3 gave us the best 2nd anniv. gift ever: 2 babies! (born 03/09/10)
Peanut and Little Man are getting so big! 2 years old already!
finally blogging again at This Will Be: An Adventure
A little late to this one but...things here are okay. C is doing great. He is smiling now and it's so wonderful to see his real smile. I'm interested to see how much he weighs when he goes for his 2 month check up in a couple of weeks. We just were finally able to put him in his 0-3 month clothes. I packed up his newborn stuff and that was very bittersweet. I only have a few weeks left of maternity leave and I am just devastated at the thought of going back to work. Plus with a few issues going on at work, it will really be uncomfortable and not a good work environment. It's making me consider getting a new job. PPD seems to be getting a bit worse but I'm working on it. Things with Jenn and I are pretty rough still. We will see where that goes.
QOTD: Jenn calls me babe or Mel and I call her pumpkin. We call C little guy or stinker. Sometimes we will refer to him by his initials, CTK.