- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
Austin Babies
Penis vent
Okay, not penises per se, but that seems to be the pervasive theme of the day.
More accurately, vasectomy vent.
Whenever we decide that we are done having kids, the plan has always been for DH to get a vasectomy. With hormonal BC, two pregnancies, a c-section, a vaginal delivery, and going on 2 years now of combined breastfeeding, I feel like my body has been through enough in the name of family planning and creation. DH has always been begrudgingly on board with this plan.
In the last month, he had one friend tell him that getting a vasectomy was like someone ripping out your soul, and my dad told him that his balls hurt for a year afterward. A YEAR. Now DH has declared that he is absolutely never having it done.
So that's great, guys. Go ahead and tell my slightly high-strung-with-a-pension-for-the-dramatic husband horror stories and scare him off. EFF YOUUUUUU.
Dear Bump: You suck.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Penis vent
OMG. I feel you on this. DH swears he'll never even consider it and I'm not gonna push it right now since we're not sure our family is complete (yes, even with twins).
However, when my time is done, IT'S YOUR TURN BUDDY!! I mean, seriously, compared to all I'll have gone through! That will be a piece of cake! He's just so freakin sensitive about his balls. Siiiigh.
I'll confess I've wondered about the psychological effects of a vasectomy on DH's libido, though he's fine with getting snipped. Whereas now he can subconsciously pretend he's siring dozens of little hims, propagating the species and all that crap, will he subconsciously feel emasculated if he gets a vasectomy?
Sure, I've done all the dirty work so far, but the last thing I need is for DH to not wanna do it.
I heard him talking about this at the party (you know, right before he asked my DH our current method of BC - snort!) and just kept thinking that is total & complete BS. Ripping out your soul? What does that say about this guy's soul? Jackass. You're 100% right. It's his turn to man up, and I would be very, very surprised if the pain of a vasectomy were even a tenth as painful as childbirth by any means.
LOL! Or threaten to take away the butt-hump.
I am hoping it's just because of BF'ing, but I still have no elasticity whatsoever in that region, so sex is horribly painful, and has been for over a year. When the time comes, even if his balls do hurt for a year, I'm not gonna feel bad about it.
And, is reproducing really what gets guys off? I know you said subconsciously, but I would think that offspring is the last thing in a guy's head at that moment.
He'll still want to do it.
You're probably right.
But about the elasticity issue...did you tear a lot? I remember you having a post recently saying your libido was back in effect. Was that since quitting bf-ing? I've got postpartum sex, or lack thereof, on the brain.
Lord, I don't think there's anything on heaven or earth that would make my DH not want to do it.
Feisty, I'm so glad you're also married to a European so that conversation wasn't as horribly awkward as it could have been with an American with normal privacy and social boundaries.
I know I tore, and I know it hurt horribly for about 10 days after, but I don't know what degree my tear was. I also know I was cut, but I don't know if I tore AND was cut, or what happened. I didn't ask. I kind of didn't want to know.
I am still BF'ing but not pumping, so I am down to 2 sessions a day. The libido is coming back, slowly, and is a lot better than it was even about a month ago. BUT, the elasticity is still not present. Not even a little bit. OUCH.
Ha! I froze for a second, thinking DH was going down that road. Had they been alone, he might have.
First, even if there was a year of discomfort, (which I haven't heard of and with 3 crude BIL's having gone through it, I think I would have heard) you've gone through much more discomfort for much longer. A year will never hold a candle to two pregnancies, births and months/years of nursing. He needs to suck it up.
Also, I don't think that conversation is just acceptable among the Europeans. My DH may overly share more than the average American and he definitely talks ALOT and loudly...but this subject has come up multiple times with friends (guys present). My DH thankfully tries to convince naysayers to suck it up for their wives and get snipped. There's never been a question in our house regarding what will happen, when the time comes.
Good luck!
I'm sorry but I have to do this.
*penchant
And this whole conversation is making me think that DH and I should've had this talk at some point.
I think about rssn every single time I post. Every time. And I post a lot, folks.
I am always afraid she is going to call me out on some sort of grammar faux pas. She doesn't even call people out, but I am afraid!
MC called me out on my use of "its" vs. "it's" a couple of weeks ago. It's haunted me ever since. HAUNTED. I am pretty certain that my entire life I thought it was "its." I felt like such a failure.
I feel like you just found an error on a dollar bill or something. You should call the news and get a pension for your discovery!
lolsy. I am the LAST person who could legit call some one out for grammar errors. I make them all.the.time (and don't notice until I go back later and re-read and then I'm convinced that everyone has already seen it and thinks I'm dumb).
Sorry that my red pen has stuck w/ ya. If it makes any difference, I was >thisclose< to posting on your wall that I wanted to hump your leg (based on an unrelated issue) earlier, but then I thought it might be taken the wrong way- you know, like I would be humping w/o pants on or something and that's gross.
DH can't wait to get it done, he would have done it years ago if I gave the okay.
According to him and his buddies, sex is even better afterwards because there's no chance of reproduction. He says that now, there's always the slight fear in the back of his mind that ::this:: could be the time. But his friends have said that once they're snipped, that fear is gone and life is awesome.
Aww... I'm blushing, now!
What was the issue?
ripping out your soul? **giant eye roll**
it honestly could not have been easier. he was achy for a whole 2 days. his balls would have hurt for more than 2 days if he had told me he wasn't doing it...trust me
I love you.