I shouldn't have shared his name...

ohjaime · January 2012

DH and I had a name picked out if LO was a girl. But when we found out it was a boy we tossed around names for a while. Only recently we decided on Caleb Clifford. Everyone we tell says "oh that's nice" "oh that's different" "very cute" etc. But my mother absolutely HATES the name. We are Catholic and she thinks this is a very Jewish name. She's even started calling him JB (jew baby). What would you do? Would you consider changing the name? In my heart, I haven't heard another name that made me say "Oh, that could be my sons name." and DH really REALLY likes this name. He gets very offended when my mom says things about the name. Thoughts?

jkfranklin · January 2012

Wow! That is not cool of your mom. If you love the name I say go with it. I might actually name him that simply because she hates it so much. And what's wrong with Jews anyway?

AshleyC0117 · January 2012

Caleb is a biblical name. Yes, it's old testament, but it's by no means limited as a "Jewish name". I think it's a great name and if you love it- use it! There is never going to be a name that everyone likes. Go with your gut! Your mom won't call him JB when he's born. (That's a horrible nickname that she came up with btw!)

LMA06 · January 2012

I'd ignore your mother, she is just being mean.

If you guys love it, stick with it. For what it's worth, I think it is super cute.

lenfant1201 · January 2012

Um... I don't know your mom, obviously, but that sounds pretty bigoted and hateful to me. Under no circumstances would I change that name, and I'd walk away from her every time she made a comment about Jews. That's just... wrong.

Christina_Diane · January 2012

ohjaime:
We are Catholic and she thinks this is a very Jewish name. She's even started calling him JB (jew baby).

That is completely inappropriate and I'd have a talk with her sooner rather than later. It would also probably include some ultimatum wording...as in, "if I hear you use that again/toward him, you don't get to see him." She needs to see that what she is doing is wrong.

If you like the name, go for it. It is a nice name. Don't let your mom's immature antics change your mind.

Wildlandwife · January 2012

Heck no. You guys like it and that's all that matters. I'd sit down with your Mom and tell her this is the name and you don't appreciate her calling him JB and if she continues then.....

CAMbaby · January 2012

I think your mom is being very immature and I think you should tell her straight up that what she is doing is very inappropriate. YOU are the parents and you get to pick the name! It almost sounds like she is trying to bully you into picking another name.

I would be really pissed off if my mom did that to us. I know it probably isn't the best way to do it, but I would probably be threatening her that while she doesn't have to like the name, if she can't respect our choice and if she continues to make snide comments (like JB), then she doesn't get to see her grandson!

kissyfitt · January 2012

I have no idea what sounds Jewish about Caleb Clifford to be totally honest.

If that was my mom, I would tell her how hurtful it is for her to say those things. Never mind how much offense I would take to her calling him JB. I also have a big mouth though so I wouldn't be afraid of hurting my mom's feelings.

I think that if this is the name you picture for your son, your mom will ultimately have to just get over her feelings about it.

When we told my family we were going to name our boy Jack, we were initially met with "but it's so common!" Oh well, it's not your baby, you don't have to like it.

mamabear0813 · January 2012

First off, I'd tell your mom how anti-semetic she sounds and point out how you don't really want bigots helping raise you child, so she is probably going to be limited in her interactions with DS from the get go (at least, that is the route I would take. Because hate begets hate and I'm not a fan of teaching younger generations things like that)

Then, I would tell her that it's rude to pick on your child's name and that she would never say those things to a toddler or child, so it's unacceptable that she would say it about an unborn baby who's name has been decided on.

shouldbworkin · January 2012

FTR, I don't know a single Jewish kid named Caleb. It's a biblical name, but definitely not used in Jewish circles as much as say Benjamin, Jacob or Joshua. I wonder what she thinks of those names. Tongue Tied

ohjaime · January 2012

I don't think she has anything against being Jewish and I've said just that to her - What's wrong with being Jewish? She just responds that he's not. I'm really close with my mom, and I don't think she'll stop once he's here. Any time someone asks what his name will be and we tell them when she's around, she has something smart to say. We live in another state so it's not like I can withhold him from her when we are in the area. I guess I just needed some support and to remember that he is my child and we really do like that name.

babymama412 · January 2012

ohjaime:

DH and I had a name picked out if LO was a girl. But when we found out it was a boy we tossed around names for a while. Only recently we decided on Caleb Clifford. Everyone we tell says "oh that's nice" "oh that's different" "very cute" etc. But my mother absolutely HATES the name. We are Catholic and she thinks this is a very Jewish name. She's even started calling him JB (jew baby). What would you do? Would you consider changing the name? In my heart, I haven't heard another name that made me say "Oh, that could be my sons name." and DH really REALLY likes this name. He gets very offended when my mom says things about the name. Thoughts?

I personally would tell my mom to knock it off. She doesn't have to like it. If you and your DH love the name, thats all that should matter.

angiekay84 · January 2012

I completely agree with PPs, the name Caleb is an adorable name for a boy. I understand you're close with your mom, if my sister hated my name it would be very hard for me since we're very close. However, I honestly feel your mom is being manipulative to get what she wants....you to change the name. I do NOT think she will continue this when he is here, no way. No grandma is going to continue with a mean nickname once she sees her precious grandchild. She will be so excited, that she will probably drop the name debate.

ETA: And I would definitely talk to her NOW. There should be some kind of consequences for being that rude.

Laouli · January 2012

wow... Im sorry I cant help but give your mom the side eye... I have no restraint and would have told her tough sh!t... and to STFU...

But I've been kinda biotchy lately

LeslieBear · January 2012

Wow...that's just seems very rude of her to call him that. I agree with others that she is really trying to get her way and make you change his name. I think it's a great name. Caleb was on my top 5 list if Ryleigh was a boy. :-)

selenamarino · January 2012

I like the name YOU AND YOUR HUBBY picked for YOUR baby!!!

I know what you mean. My dad, MIL and my co-workers don't like the name we picked for our boy (Ashton James) but everyone loves the name we picked for the girl (Adriana Grace). My dad thinks he will be picked on, my MIL thinks we should name him something else and my co-workers all think we should name him Andrew but the last time I checked I'm the one carrying two babies around not them and my husband picked out the boys name (not my favorite but I got to pick the girls so it's only fair). I say when they are pregnant they can name their kids whatever they want.

DiamondDani · January 2012

I'm sorry. That's a horrible thing for her to say. Sad

Keep the name if you like it! Personally, I think it's a great name!

And this is one of the reasons we are NOT sharing our name until after she's born. (nevermind the fact that she doesn't have a name yet anyway Stick out tongue ) I don't want to hear anything negative about it!

devious1031 · January 2012

I wouldn't change a name that I loved. I would, however, talk to your mom about her choice of nicknames for baby and let her know how rude it is.

Moneypenny424 · January 2012

AshleyC0117:
Caleb is a biblical name. Yes, it's old testament, but it's by no means limited as a "Jewish name". I think it's a great name and if you love it- use it! There is never going to be a name that everyone likes. Go with your gut! Your mom won't call him JB when he's born. (That's a horrible nickname that she came up with btw!)

I'm really sorry she said this--I actually got a similar response when I mentioned Isaac as a potential name (yes, I do know a lot of Jewish people named Isaac, but know just as many Christians). Like Isaac, it is an Old Testament name, so will be used by both religions...and I have no problem with that at all.

Your mom needs to have more respect for your choices. That is really uncool that she is calling your baby JB as a slur. Stick to your guns and use the name YOU like--don't bend to her bigoted comment.

roxane · January 2012

Maybe she'll be okay with MG (mean grandma), since that is what she makes me think of. I cannot imagine anyone coming up with a nickname like that for my child. I would definitely tell them it was not okay immediately. If they didn't quit, they would not be in my child's life.

bellablue2 · January 2012

That seriously sucks that your mom is acting like that! I just dont get moms sometimes! When I told my mom we were expecting baby number 3 her words were, that she wished we had stopped after two! No congrats, nothing. She said the reason she said that was because she didnt want me to get sick again. I did get sick again, but its not like she took care of me!! Anyways, rant over. I think you should go with the name YOU like and everyone else can shove it! Its your baby and if they dont like it, OH WELL! Good luck sweetie!

TotallyLoCo · January 2012

Well, for one thing I'm Jewish, grew up in a mostly Jewish neighborhood and have never heard of/met a Jewish person named Caleb out of the (probably thousands) I have interacted with through the years, so I have no idea where she's getting that from. It's not like you're naming him Shlomo or Hymie or something.

Secondly, I would stick by your guns. Caleb is a cute name and it's the one you like. She needs to stop with the comments. Yes, "JB" is offensive and that is not cool.

ninjabridemom · January 2012

No, I wouldn't consider changing the name.

I WOULD have a conversation with my mother about how that kind of talk is hurtful and bigoted, and that you expect her to be a better example for your son.

ohjaime · January 2012

roxane:
Maybe she'll be okay with MG (mean grandma), since that is what she makes me think of. I cannot imagine anyone coming up with a nickname like that for my child. I would definitely tell them it was not okay immediately. If they didn't quit, they would not be in my child's life.

This is EXACTLY where my husband wants to take this arguement. She can't decide what she'd like to be called... grandie, grammy, polish word for grandma, etc. He's like let's just tell her what she'll be called. If she gets to choose her name and we can't say anything, but she says nothing nice about our name? They already don't get along and I don't want it to get out of hand.

Johlise · January 2012

I agree that she is being very immature. IMO it isn't a Jewish name at all!!!! Yes it is Biblical but since when does that make it Jewish? I wouldn't change it just because she is being lame about it.

learningfromlife · January 2012

Christina_Diane:
ohjaime:
We are Catholic and she thinks this is a very Jewish name. She's even started calling him JB (jew baby).
That is completely inappropriate and I'd have a talk with her sooner rather than later. It would also probably include some ultimatum wording...as in, "if I hear you use that again/toward him, you don't get to see him." She needs to see that what she is doing is wrong.
If you like the name, go for it. It is a nice name. Don't let your mom's immature antics change your mind.

All of this. I just told my husband what you said about her calling him JB and he even said "wow time to find a new mom"

I would absolutely not change the name and I would have already gone off on my mother for saying that.

Musiclover2012 · January 2012

Ugh...that sucks. Sorry. Stick to your guns and she'll get over it. Like others have said, I would make it VERY clear that you love this name and you are not changing it and that it really hurts you that she she being so terrible about it. For this LO we are waiting until he is born to share his name, I bet some people (if we shared early) may have said "Nolan? Oh, that is different" so whatever, we'll wait and they can deal. With LO #1 we did share his name early (Adam) and only my sister was like "Adam?, isn't that Jewish?", ugh.... We have not spoken in 3 years so perhaps I should have seen that one coming.

Good luck my dear!

eav2c · January 2012

ohjaime:

DH and I had a name picked out if LO was a girl. But when we found out it was a boy we tossed around names for a while. Only recently we decided on Caleb Clifford. Everyone we tell says "oh that's nice" "oh that's different" "very cute" etc. But my mother absolutely HATES the name. We are Catholic and she thinks this is a very Jewish name. She's even started calling him JB (jew baby). What would you do? Would you consider changing the name? In my heart, I haven't heard another name that made me say "Oh, that could be my sons name." and DH really REALLY likes this name. He gets very offended when my mom says things about the name. Thoughts?

Um, no. Not okay! How effin' rude. Don't change your babies name. When he's here and people can see him, they won't think twice about it... Our nephew had a somewhat different name that made everyone side-eye before he was born but now it's the perfect name for him. Tell your mom she needs to stay quiet about it... she has NO right.

ecn0002 · January 2012

I wouldn't change it. It your child :-)

My mother thinks this is her pregnancy and is extremely overbearing. We have decided to NOT share until LO arrives for this reason.

snoangel79 · January 2012

ohjaime:
I don't think she has anything against being Jewish and I've said just that to her - What's wrong with being Jewish? She just responds that he's not. I'm really close with my mom, and I don't think she'll stop once he's here. Any time someone asks what his name will be and we tell them when she's around, she has something smart to say. We live in another state so it's not like I can withhold him from her when we are in the area. I guess I just needed some support and to remember that he is my child and we really do like that name.

If you are really close to your mom you need to speak up. If my mom ever said something like that (and my mom would not) but if she did. I'd say you will not see your grandchild if you call him names and I will start calling you a bigoted grandma biznitch (or bgb) to your face!! See how immature you are being? Would you want me to start calling you that?? Get some class... That's what I would say. Honestly considering that you are close you should really be able to give it back to her and see how she likes it!

gisa886 · January 2012

I'm sorry that she is being so immature. I'd just let her know for every time she says something rude about his name that will be one less time she'll see him or hear about him. Why would you want to subject your child to that?

ubascrappin · January 2012

What's your mom's name? I would come up with a not so flattering nick name for her and see how she likes it. I'm sure your point would get accross pretty fast Every time she makes a nasty remark about Caleb say "whatever so and so"

It is totally rude and immature to make fun of someone's name choice and you should be sure to let her know that it is not o.k. with you. Tell her to get a dog or something she can name herself.....otherwise butt out!

Patella1129 · January 2012

If you like a name, then use it! It doesn't matter what other people think. And personally, I think it was totally out of line and rude for your mom to say that. Even if you wanted to name your child "Moses," I think it would be wrong for your mom to go there.

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